Found the end of my tether last night

[Fibilou]

DD is coming up 15 weeks. She has always been a very good sleeper, only woke once between about 11pm and 6am and started sleeping through at about 8 weeks although this went to pot at 12 weeks and hasn't happened since. She was also having regular naps throughout the day - about 10am for an hour, 2pm for an hour and 5pm for an hour. Then sleep at 8pm.

This week though has been an absolute nightmare and getting worse every day. She has had a cold but that is going now; yesterday she hardly slept at all and I ahve to take her out in the pram to get her to sleep, she won't nap in the house. For the last 3 days she has been refusing her bedtime feed (she is exclusively breastfed) but then waking 30 minutes after she goes to sleep, screaming with hunger.Last night she woke at 2am and I have been awake with her pretty much since then. We used to cosleep with her but she settled in her crib well at about 6 weeks - we are now having to cosleep again (we have moved her into a cot - in our room - as she was too big for the crib). She suffers from wind badly and it was so bad last night that we had to strip her off and leave her to sleep naked as this is the only thing that seems to help her clear it. She wears a terry nappy and this seems to impede her clearing the wind as she can't jiggle her legs around as well as in a disposable.

Our daily routine is roughly

6am feed and nap until 9am
9am get up, have naked time, massage and about 30 minutes structured play
10am go out into town for coffee or go to childrens' centre
lunchtime put her in gym/bouncy chair while I try to get a bit of housework done then more play
About 2pm go out again in pram for walk so she has a nap then come home and mumsnet do housework while she sits in chair watching me
5pm nap
6pm hour of playtime
7pm bath
7.30 feed,story and bed, aiming to be asleep by about 8

She feeds on demand through the day, about every 2 hours. Am I doing too much, not enough, doing things wrong ? I dont think I can cope with another night like last night tonight

Around 15/16 weeks there is often a massive growth spurt. She could also be teething? Both of mine got their first teeth around that age and were nightmares for a week or so.

You are not doing anything wrong! Your days sound lovely. It will get better again soon.

She could be too tired at bedtime to take her bedtime feed if not sleeping well during day, hence the falling asleep and waking up again.

I'd try moving it forward 1/2 hour or so and see if it helps.

MrsKitty, we did think she was teething as she had a little white spot on her gum, asked the HV who said it was a tooth - but now it's disappeared.

It's making me question all my choices - are the terries uncomfortable, should I just give in and top up with formula, do I just not have enough milk for her. She's been such an easy baby so far that I am finding thi very tough. I've been "hanging on in there" since 12 weeks hoping she would settle back into her routine.

Armadillo, I will try shifting forward as yu suggest tonight and report back

None of mine were in a napping routine until six months when they were on solids
at that point they started sleeping at 9am, and after lunch for a couple of hours
I think you need to forget a routine tbh and try to go with the flow a bit more
don't worry about playing etc
just get on with what you'd do in the day and let her sleep and feed around that
she'll sleep in the car, pushchair etc

Compo, she requires my full attention when she is awake, I have to play with her or she cries. The routine is pretty flexible - it just falls around when she naturally gets tired or is very alert and wanting to play. She has always been tired and wanting to sleep at the same time every day, she settled into her own little routine.

Now that she's out of it again I'm all at sea..

Maybe you just need to change the routine, rather than getting her to settle back into one? Babies are constantly changing little creatures, and a routine that worked for an 8 week old might not work for a 12 or 16 week old. Perhaps instead of struggling to get her to take her earlier nap and it then ending up being rather short you could leave the nap till a bit later? Shifting bedtime forward sounds like a good idea if you're able to.

I think the trouble sometimes with having an 'easy' baby is that when you do have tough times (as everyone will) then it can actually be harder to deal with as you're so used to being able to get things done/get a decent amount of sleep etc and when you're unable to it really hits you for six! You are doing a fabulous job Fibilou. Don't doubt yourself - this is just a bit of a blip.

And I'm certainly not a "routine" type, that was just a rough guide to how are days usually pan out

Thankyou MrsKitty. Fortuntely DH is taking her out this morning so I will get a bit of "decompression" time - I haven't had a break from her since last Tuesday as DH works very long hours in the police force and can be out of the house from 4am until past 10pm as he also does work for a hot air balloon company and some gardening.

I had same with DS who was an 'easy' baby then started to not sleep etc. I was BF and tried some rice/cereal (about 2 teaspoons) in morning and evening made with BM and this worked. I just found it was hunger as you suggested above. He became settled in 4 days and then from 16 weeks slept through the night from 9pm til 6am.

Hope this helps and best of luck.

Hey Fibilou, my DD was very similar at this age. She required constant attention in the day, often slept on top of me at night and although she slept through at 3 months, from 4 months it all went t&ts up and she would wake every 2 hours and some times take up to 2 hours to settle. I questioned everything I did and had zero confidence. I got very down and dreamed of a life without her, idly thinking up ways of getting rid of her. Basically, you're not doing anything wrong. But with babies like yours and mine used to be, maybe there's just no real right way of doing things. Sorry, that's not much help but it took be so long to stop blaming myself and I hate seeing others in that situation.

If I can give any practical advice, it is to stop worrying if you can't meet your ideals of parenting. Mine were: home water birth, co-sleeping, breast is best, lots of cuddling, no crying. My reality was: epidural & hormones in hospital, 'sleeping' in her own bed, topped up with formula because she didn't gain any weight, lots of cuddling, controlled crying at 7 months. I had to adapt to my baby and it took ages for me to realise that I hadn't failed in doing this. I can't have failed as she's gorgeous, we have an amazing bond and I love her to pieces. Now.

Oh and gripe water. Lots of it!

Best of luck

Oh and doing it without your husband around is amazing. Mine took so much rubbish from me, I screamed and shouted at him in the middle of the night. Maybe he thought about working shifts too.

Oh and another thing! I remember using the car seat at night to help my DD sleep. Another controversial one but keeping her a bit upright seemed to help and she was cossetted in there too I guess. We had it on our bed, at the end, so we could stick a foot out and rock her if necessary. No lasting damage caused.

I guess we just did whatever it took to get a few hours kip.

I really ought to think before I hit post and get it all out in one go!

The reason I have time to post right now is that my daughter is napping. In the car. Where she does every day and has done since she was wee. How rubbish is that?! But it works. And at least now I only have to drive round the block with her and not for 1 1/2 hours a day.

Does the wind really bother her?

My ds suffered very badly with wind and it did used to wake him up. Started him on Colief (it breaks down the lactose in milk) at around 4 months, after trying everything else, and after about 2 weeks the difference was amazing.

Had to keep him on it until he was around 10 months old at which point he could deal with it.

He is still v grumpy though !

Armadillo, I did what you suggested. She has been asleep since 7.05 and had both sides before falling asleep quite happily and readily.

Hopefully we have reached a turning point

Fibilou, hope things improve. In case you're interested, here are some links about the 4 month sleep regression which messes with lots of babies' sleep:

Here, here, here and here.

When DS has refused to feed at bedtime because he's crying, what has sometimes worked for me is to give him a finger to suck on for a minute, which calms him down enough to want to take the breast. Might be worth trying if you run into bedtime battles again.

pleased things are going better - hope she keeps it up

SHE IS STILL ASLEEP !!!!!!

Or maybe dead

Just cheked, sleeping soundly. It's a Tuesday miracle !

I second the growth spurt thing - my 5-month old had a week last month when she just fed every two hours at night and was feeding massively in the day too - I was worried that there wasn't enough milk for her but it settled down eventually. Teething might also be a possibility - I discounted this until I tried some bonjela on her and it completely knocked her out - felt really bad for not twigging this sooner, particularly as DD1 started teething around the same stage .

We're now back to 'just' waking 3 times a night. Sigh.

Hope your DD is still sleeping well Fibilou & that you have a decent nights sleep tonight I'm off to bed now, no doubt my DD will wake juuuuust as I'm dropping off...

Baby only woke up once in the night at 3am and then woke up again at about 6am bright as a button.

So a very good night