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Why does my 3.5 yr old embarrass me by asking people for food??

13 replies

Blocka · 17/05/2010 19:46

It is a big pet hate of mine when children hint for food, or worse still, ask outright for food, to strangers. I used to think it meant the children weren't being fed properly at home,or hadn't been taught good manners.
But now my 3.5 DD has started doing it. I was mortified this afternoon when my neighbour told me that my DD had went into their house and asked if they had anything for her to eat!! They thought it was funny and said she does it often!!!!
We feed her plenty, although have restricted her snacks recently as we have noticed that she is not eating her meals claiming to be full, then asking for sweets etc 10 mins later (which we don't give her). We try to stick to the rule that she can't have treats unless she makes a good attempt at her meals, although I will always offer fruit if she is insistant.
Should I ignore this Oliver Twist style begging, or can anyone recommend a good way of dealing with it???

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peggotty · 17/05/2010 19:51

lol, well she's a clever little thing! Just tell your neighbours not to feed her and ignore or distract her if she hassles you. Did your neighbours actually give her anything?

legaleagle21 · 17/05/2010 19:51

My friend's daughter does it all the time. Always has and she is 5 now. It used to really annoy me - but now I have a toddler myself I realise that it is just one of those things- and I really dont know how u deal with it. Sounds like ur doing everything right.

Blocka · 17/05/2010 19:53

I was so shocked, I forgot to ask! Thats a good tip about asking the neighbours not to feed her, though, tackle it from an angle she won't be expecting!! lol

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thisisyesterday · 17/05/2010 19:55

how did your 3.5 yr old get into their house in the first place?? lol

they must have nice food they give her I reckon

notnowbernard · 17/05/2010 19:56

Both my dds have done this since they could gesture for it, let alone speak

They have no shame

DD1 in particular was marvellous at picnic invasion when in public places

I think lots of kids do it. It really doesn't bother me when other DC do it - I just think that they're probably genuinely hungry. But must admit it's a bit toe-curling when it's one of the first things they say to someone...

Blocka · 17/05/2010 19:59

Thanks notnowbernard, its was the first thing she said which makes it so much worse. Feel better that am not alone!

thisisyesterday, it might seem a bit weird that she got in their house but we have a shared field at the back of our house and our children just pop in and out of each others houses. Their children are always in my house to. Although never asking for food.....

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didgeridoo · 17/05/2010 20:01

Do your neighbours usually give her treats rather than "proper" food? If so, it seems to me that's her way of getting the treats you withhold for not eating her meals. I would also ask the neighbours to stop feeding her.

LunaticFringe · 17/05/2010 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Blocka · 17/05/2010 20:09

LOL LunaticFringe that is hilarious!! I would of rewarded your dd with a snack for being so cute!
Maybe I am worrying to much and expecting my child to have perfect behaviour when that is just totally unrealistic.

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notnowbernard · 17/05/2010 20:11

Really, don't worry about it

DD1 has friends back for tea (she's 6) and it's the first thing they ask about when they get in

Blocka · 19/05/2010 18:04

feel better now. my neighbours children have just come in and asked for a cheese sandwich!! I will blame them for influencing my dd......

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herbgarden · 20/05/2010 21:54

My DS does it all the time and if people get food out near us he hovers around like an unfed dog !!! He's fed really well usually !

Butterpie · 20/05/2010 21:56

I took my two to the park the other day, and every time I took my eye off DD1 she had joined in with someone else's picnic! We had a perfectly lovely picnic ourselves that she just ignored!

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