How do you deal with a child having a meltdown in their room

[OrmRenewed]

DS#2 had one of his cumulative tantrums today. Started over something small and was small-scale. He managed with a judicious mixture of determination and remembrance of past wrongs to build it up to the full operatic performance Quite proud of myself for not getting upset or angry. I sat him on the stairs but he kept getting off and howling at me, so I took him (gently but firmly) upstairs. I couldn't calm him or laugh him out of it and he was making everyone else miserable.

He keeps calling me and when I go up after a few mins thinking he wants a cuddle and will calm down, he starts all over again screaming at me. So I leave him again.

I have remained calm with him (might be a first for me after such a prolonged strop).

But what next? Do I leave him? Should I go up and cuddle him till he stops?

Help?

BTW the thing that he is crying about is something he wants and I am NOT going to get him. He won't compromise.

How old is he? When dd does this (6yo) I generally leave her to it until she calms down, often she will come and apologise and then we have a cuddle and move on. DS (3yo) is a drama queen extraordinaire and completely unable to accept he is in the wrong ever....still getting to grips with what might work with him so will watch with interest...!

He's 7.

This is the first time I have actually remained calm and been really firm with him. Pathetic I know I always treat a tantrum as a sort of Act of God and feel I have to make it better. But I have realised that I can't now. About time too.... been a mum for 13 yrs but I've never had a child like this before.

ignore him

Oh! He just came down all tearful, have me a hug and asked to watch Dr Who

Orm if he's 7 then deffo ignore him.

He knows he's behaving badly. Don't give him any attention for it.

Once he has calmed down, even if you have to wit till tomorrow, have a little talk about why he got so irrational and upset and rude to you.

But for now, ignore him.

yay

Well done on staying calm and firm

I'm impressed with the staying calm. I always plan to but rarely manage it.

Ignoring is the only thing which works with DD2. even when i'm feeling like the most horrible crap person in the world and want to hug and make it better.

Oh eccentrica if hugging and making it better worked I'd give in every time. But it doesn't. Not these days.

I am not stubborn and he is. So this is hard for me. It's horrible isn't ?