Do you set any time limits for Wii or computer games?

[hellion]

My seven year old is really getting into playing Wii (mainly Super Mario). We have had the Wii a year and a half, but in the last month or so he has been wanting to play it all the time. I was limiting him to 45 min sessions, which worked fine when he wasn't wanting to play every day. Now I need to set some new goal posts. It isn't helped by the three year old who is wanting to play it all the time. I just wondered what limits (if any!) other people set.

Riven, how old were your boys when they first had access to unlimited video games?

We do max an hour per child on non-school days but with two children that means half the morning or afternoon gone as they both watch each other play (like to play different games)

I would like to try the self-limiting thing, but am concerned that at moment DS (7) when really focused on something, regardless of what it is, loses all concept of time.

Reading all these messages has finally spurred me on to put ours away. I hate it so much and it turns DS into an introverted weirdo quite frankly! He takes it with him when he goes to stay with his Dad for the weekend and he is allowed to play on it all weekend. When he comes home he has blood shot eyes and is incapable of making conversation and mutters to himself about lava levels of doom, jedis and just general weird stuff. I can't bear it! have just sent email to ex-h telling him it is stopping. now he will have to actually interact with him on the weekend. grrrr

never had formal limits, prefer to make sure they have lots of other things to do. Of course the Wii wasn't around when they were 7 but they had PC games, including some they really enjoyed. If their homework (where relevant) was done they were able to play games if they wanted.

Of course I didn't buy many new games so getting bored with the games helped them to limit themsleves.

yes we had such big probs in our house with DS1 who is almost seven that I banned the Wii totally. DS2 who is only just 5 seems to be able to use it sensibly , enjoying himself and not getting too hung up on it. DS1 will scream and cry, hitting DS2 and us if he can;'t get the game to do what he wants i.e can't get Ben 10 over the stupid lava or whatever.
Also it started to become an immense battle to get him to turn it off to go to bed, or leave the house at weekends to do something else that the rest of the family wanted to do. I put it away in the loft as it was meant to be a fun thing and it was making the lot of us miserable. He has been told he can have another chance when he is 7 in the summer but it will go away again if he still can't play nicely with it. I am dreading it.

The way I understand it is that on an evolutionary basis our brains just can't cope with the amount of stimulation they get from computer games - it's reckoned that in a matter of months the brain of a child exposed to an 'average' amount of TV, computer games etc. receives more stimulation than it would have done in a lifetime 50 years ago. When I was doing my psychotherapy training I learned that one of the best way to 'manufacture' depression, adhd etc. is to watch lots of TV, play computer games etc as it leaves your brain too emotionally exhausted to have the spare capacity for creative thinking and rational thought. I quickly binned the Baby Einstein which, in an effort to develop his brain optimally, (as the marketing-speak had it) I'd been force-feeding my then toddler!

He's now 8 and the peer-pressure is certainly felt when some of his friends come round to play and the TV/computer isn't on the agenda. So that he's not totally clueless socially (and I don't feel like a complete witch) he is allowed to play on miniclip for 30 mins a couple of times a week but doesn't have a wii or any dedicated computer games. This seems to work well though it's been really interesting how he gets very teary and anxious if he can't complete a level.

It's a really tough one though and I certainly don't feel complacent about the way we do things and swing between either feeling glad we've been so firm when I see the struggles that other people have with their kids over this issue or controlling and old-fashioned when we're with people who's kids seem to enjoy the games yet not be unduly focused on them.

We have a Wii and computer - one DS1 who loves any electronic gadget and DS2 who would rather play football.

We tried unlimited access and DS1 just played for hours on end. Now we have:

• after school on mon & wed (after I pick them up from after school care)
• friday after school (which is normally day we have friends over)
• saturday morning

That works a lot better - it is Wii or computer - their choice.

That's interesting. I always feel DS needs time to chill on the sofa before moving onto the next thing whether coming to a meal or starting a new activity.

But I don't see the frustration/anger when it goes off as a problem. I'm sure he'll learn to handle it in a more socially acceptable manner with time. It's an inconvenience for us as parents at the moment but I'm not sure putting these games in the loft is the solution.

Prohibition didn't teach people to have a sensible attitude towards alcohol....

Thanks. I'd like them to be able to self-limit in the long run. It's good to hear the opinion of a keen gamer.
An hour on DS's favourite game means he can complete a couple of missions.
At the moment he likes to do the same missions over and over again, which seems pretty pointless to me. Can you help me see the other side to this?

my ds is pretty obsessed with his ds. we have a one hour limit per day of "screen time" (ie this includes any TV). On Mondays and Wednesdays he has after school activities so has much less (or none), often we'll see friends after school another day or 2 so again less. This works for us.

We bought a Wii beginning of March, it has been used twice!

However we have a similar problem with the Nintendo DS. my 6yo wants it all the time and it is definately limited and only gets it for good behaviour. Any really naughty behavious (mainly involving rudeness and shouting) means it is banned for a week.

I'm a cow.

By the way, I definately notice a change in his behaviour when he has been on it - and it's not for the better. I hate all electronic games, they are the work of the devil .

DD has a DSi, DS has DD's old Gameboy and we have a family Wii but as they don't seem to get obsessive over them we've not really had to put any restrictions in place.

Occasionally if its a nice day and they're playing on the Wii I've told them when its time to finish Mario Kart and go outside.

The only 'rule' is that DD doesn't take her DSi to bed with her as I can imagine her getting engrossed in it then rather than sleeping!

Riven I totally agree with you. I don't really see how having a half hour limit or whatever works. If I think about what I do in my spare time - MNetting for instance - I don't log on for weeks then I might have a few days where I'm watching a few threads. I certainly don't say "Right half an hour - now I'm done". Same applies to most things - reading a book I usually try and press on to the end rather than limiting myself to half hour chunks. My kids (9 and 7) might have 18 holes of golf on the Wii (which can take a couple of hours), but they are just as likely to spend two hours playing a complicated game with dd's Sylvanian families. IME the Kids who can't tear themselves away from the wii (or who want to watch TV for that matter) when they come round to our house are the ones who aren't allowed to do those things at home. Or maybe we're just lucky and our dcs don't have addictive personalities.

Both Dh and I like computer games and will sometimes play for 40 minutes. If your child read for that long would you take a book away? Mine will avidly read a book until its finished and I wouldn't stop them.

I don't set any limits with tv or DS/Wii, although dd always asks first if she can do something, she is 7

I find any obsession works itself out in the end

We have a Playstation and both boys have a DS.

The Playstation only comes out at weekends. I don't keep it permanently wired up to the TV, so they have to really want to play with it to go to the trouble of getting the cables out of the drawer and untangling them!

The DS only gets charged up on a Friday night. So if they run out of battery then that is it until the next charging.

I find this system works well so far.

They are 7.5 and nearly 6.

mine only have weekend screen and works great for us - they don't pine for it because its not on the agends

I think its a great idea to limit the time to weekends especially as ds2 is only three , and it seems to be a real obsession with him. I have not let them play it since Monday, and both boys behaviour has improved. Super Mario was taking over our lives!

My friend charges her son's DS once in the week and once at weekends...and that's it. He has to learn to limit himself on it, quite clever really.
My own DD has 40 mins screen time a day (in theory), doesn't always work out like that though. She's sociable, articulate and doing well at school. I can live with myself on this one.

Thanks for all your messages.
I think every approach has its merits and its important to do what works well for your child's particular personality. I had a lovely, calm chat with DS (6) at tea and explained the rules with Wii again (1 hour Sat, a hour Sun max)and that if there was anymore anger/arguments/upset as a result of having to turn it off then it would be put away for the rest of the weekend. He accepted it and promised he'd be Ok from now on...we shall see...

I agree with Riven.

I don't ration DS's screen time at the moment, and he is Wii-crazy. He watches a bit of TV before school (provided he's dressed and ready), plays at least an hour of Wii when he gets home, sometimes plays on websites on my computer, and sometimes watches a bit more TV before bed. He does loads of Wii with his dad, and quite a bit with me (I enjoy a lot of the games too).

So the Wii is The Big Thing at the moment. (He does have playdates with friends, goes swimming, cycling and to drama too, so it's not the only thing he's doing.)

I am hoping that he will learn to self-regulate, because that is what I like the idea of. And the more I restrict, the more it becomes the forbidden fruit.

TBH, it's also a real help because it's just DS and me, so it's handy entertainment if I'm busy and there's no one else to play with.

However, since borrowing the Wii, DS has occasionally said that playing with "normal" toys is boring, which has worried me a bit. When he has to come off (to eat/go to bed/do chores/do some exercise), he can be arsy, and struggle to adjust to bog standard play again. But when he's not on it and gets back into the swing of "normal" play, his imagination's as vivid as ever, and I can see that the games are inspiring his play. I have been amazed at the problem-solving and strategising he has got his head round on some of the Wii games.

I'm mindful of the possibility that DS is getting a bit addicted, but for now, I'm continuing with my self-regulation experiment, in the hope it's a fleeting obsession. (We haven't had it that long.)

DS's five, BTW.

I love games and see my kids doing some great things with video games when they play them.

But in the daytime (we're HEing), I have the security settings on the computer set to only allow access to specific educational sites like Mathletics, EducationCity, BBC Schools etc. In the evening they can play console games or online games but they rarely play for more than an hour and still do plenty of other activities.

I don't really agree with excessive rationing - better to teach them a little self-control and moderation imo. Of course playing all day/evening isn't great either.

To be honest though I think normal toys ARE a bit boring and I did as a child. I'd rather be working on a map to solve some complex computer game than bashing around with dolls. And I know which was more intellectually stimulating. I can remember the atmosphere and world of some games I played far more vividly than several books I read. (And no, I'm not short on imagination, thank you ;))

The trick is picking the right games.. something like Little Big Planet where they can build their own levels and learn problem solving is great. Something which involves firing repetitively at zombies for hours is not so great.

Don't have them. Yet.