Insistence on eating in front of the telly - help me stop this

[EssieAmma]

My DS, 2, not me.
And I know bad parenting = this kind of behaviour.

My DH works away, so I'm a single parent all week, and I work FT. DS goes to nursery 2 days, and is with my Mum 3 days.
He has been eating well, and can feed himself with his fork etc.
He also likes watching telly, although he doesn't get it during the day (nursery/Mum's) but when he gets home from nursery/is tired at the end of the day he gets a bit of telly.

He has now started demanding to have his dinner in front of the telly. He talks and articulates move my food to the TV room. I've been all alone and given in but now it's become a habit... How can I break this?
I decided to brave it out, and last night he ate his main course in his chair in the dining room. However, he then had his pudding (fruit) in front of the tv, but I thought that was ok given the good eating.
Tonight, DH is home and we put him at the table (DS, that is!) and he protested, but after a bit I put on some classic fm and he started eating. Then halfway through he started demanding, and in the end we gave in. He would not eat, and cried and cried, but with telly, finished off his main course and ate a good balanced diet.

In front of the telly, he zombifies and doesn't feed himself - totally lazy. All meals at nursery, lunch and breakfast are eaten in the normal fashion without telly. Is this a phase, is it tiredness?

So, what do I do? It's not a situation I want - but will it get easier to reason with him when he's older? I always worry when he doesn't eat - he's small for his age, and also he wakes mighty early if he's not eaten enough and I need to work too.
How bad is this in the scheme of things? Should I brave it and have a few nights of him not getting any food?
I feel so awful about giving in tonight.

Take the plug out and tell him TV is broke?

And no it won't get easier when he's older

tbh i would just stop it outright.
try and time it so that dinner is ready when a program finishes. turn the television off and move him into the dining room

he WILL complain. he may not eat all of his dinner. But he will get used to it and I would wager that he'll be happily eating his dinner up at the table within a week

Just say NO! It is that simple, really, YOU are the parent, make the rules.

If you are going to be ruled by a 2 year old, god help you when he is older!

PArt of being a good parent is knowing when to stick to your guns over things and knowing when to give in. Pick your battles carefully.

He wont love you any less, will probably through a massive tantrum, but he will eat when he is hungry.

sorry, this is a bit rambled I am being pestered by the dog to take him out.

Lol belgo, now I'm worried. When can I use my month's leave from parenting?

Thisisyesterday you reckon a week and back to good eating? I'll risk that. Obv. I've got ishoos with him being small for his age and I don't want to risk him wasting away (or whatever happens to a child who is under the 0th centile - nobody ever did explain that one ) and if my DH is around I can manage this.
Thing is, there's clearly a mindgame thing going on - he ate half his dinner tonight, i.e. take the edge off the hunger before starting the fight? (Is he really that calculating? )

Lol at 'complain' though. That's one way of putting it...

the first part of your username is my rl nickname.

Turn the tv off. Be firm.

God, don't let mardying turn a no into a yes or you'll have a terrible time of it! Be strong!

Well, if you give in all the time, he will keep demanding it. If you say, 'No' eventuually he will accept it. You are the parent and by giving in to him now you will have far, far greater problems than this later.

He will soon eat at the table when he realises that he goes hungry if he doesn't.

Sorry if I sound harsh but you really do need to brave it out and I think you know that already, from the tone of your post.

he'll be fine, am sure he'll eat plenty for breakfast and lunch to make up for it.

Don't let him eat in front of the TV, if he insists then just don't let him take pudding through with him, he will soon get the idea.

You are not being consistant. So what if the dinner is not eaten? You are the boss, food stays away from the TV.
Start afresh tomorrow and just refuse all TV and don't watch it yourself.
The 2yr old will crack first , having the radio on is a good idea.

You have to be consistent - NEVER eat in front of the TV. I imposed a rule on mine, no TV during the week. It hasn't been hard to enforce although now they are much older I am more lenient. Get on top of it now, or he will rule the roost later... Good luck.

I know, thanks everyone. I'm going to have to brave this out. I never eat in front of the TV btw - he tantrums whilst I'm eating (unless he's eating too) - I ensure we both eat together to give him a good example. (Snacking in front of the tv, mind, is something I'm expert at, once he's gone to bed! )

Mutt why do you say that?

Because you are not a single parent.

X-posting as well. Thanks for great advice - Janeite I did know the answer really, just needed the strength of mumsnet behind me as I brave the loud tantrums!
Also thanks Five - I guess it's all or nothing, no dessert either in front of the tv. Consistency!

Well, what's the definition of a single parent? There's nobody here but me most of the time. All down to me, no backup or assistance in anything.

My DS has been allowed to get into this bad habit also. I hate it so that was that - no no no and back to the table. That was it, yes he moans - but really..........so??!! We have just ignored him and then he just gets on with eating, or he doesn't, simple as He is a very poor eater too but I still have to be firm!

I guess the difference is he does come home, at weekends. You have 2 incomes, someone to share things with, regular luvin' , you can phone him in the week and say Hi darling, missing you, how's it going? His income all goes to the family... etc etc

bit different from on your own, paying it all by yourself, no-one to snuggle up to - even just at the weekend - nobody to call and just say hi to (of course there are other people, but you know what I mean!), just the one income (plus a bit of maintenance. maybe)

It is very different.

However yes, it's tough doing it all by yourself all week. It's just not the same as doing it all by yourself week in week out month in month out with no backup and no respite.

Alot of lone parents will jump on you for your comment becasue your DH does come back home at weekends, sorry didn't mean to jump down your throat.

Consistency is the key, he will not starve to death if he doesn't get food if he can't have it at the table and it will not take long at all for him to realise that you mean business.

s'okay. I think lots of us (in relationships) are guilty of saying that we feel like single parents, are single parents for x amount of time etc, when what we really mean is we're on our own for a bit. When you actually take time to think about the differences, then it becomes very clear it's a totally different kettle of fish.

Well, I did say that I'm a single parent all week.
And I do see the (sensible, accurate) differences pointed out by TwoPenceWorth.

But, I am rather sensitive to this. I think saying that I'm being insulting to all single parents is very mean indeed, and totally belittles everything that I'm doing. And I'm in some undefined category.
And yes, I'm dead tired, so that's colouring things. But I would like to say something which a friend, who really is a single parent (her DP left before he knew she was pg) says that in some ways it's simpler - not easier, just simpler - for her because she knows where she stands, and hasn't had a taste of the other life; whereas I get 1 night of being married with a child per week, and the rest of the time being alone and tired.

So I'm hurt that I'm seen as insulting all single parents.

I don't have money either - I wouldn't be doing this if I could afford not to.