Should we address the food problems head on or should we continue to ignore? I really don't know......

[ilovespinach]

Ds1 is 4 and has had a very limited diet for over 2 years. I think there are lots of reasons why we are stuck with this behavior perhaps we didn't give him enough independance to eat, over-reacted when he didn't eat etc.....

We took advice over a year and a half ago from a child pychologist who said to just leave it as he would grow out of the behaviour...the best action we could take was no action etc.....so basically give him what he likes.

Still, here we are all this time later and nothing has changed. DS still refuses point blank to try anything new and DH is now saying we should try a different approach. He wants to say that ds an have his dinner but only after trying a bite of new food....Hopefully then he will realise that he likes other things.

I'm not so sure as I think this will put stress on an already difficult situation and I can't see how it will encourage ds to like new foods. However, I am now also thinking that we need to do something more...We have a holiday with family coming up and I am already feeling stressed about ds and food.

Please can someone give me some advice.....

Before I forget, here is the list of foods that ds will eat

Plain water
Apple and Oat pancake (getting more difficult to gte ds to eat this though)
Marmite on white toast
Bretzels (basically white bread)
Bananas (he will eat 4 in a sitting if allowed)
Yoghurts
Pasta (only twirls) with green pesto (sometimes I subsitute with fresh egg pasta)
Chocolate (only a particular type - which he calls 'real chocolate')
Very occasionally a lollipop or jelly sweet....

Can you see why I am worried for him?

I can see why you are concerned. I have no direct experience - DS1 is only 2 but he seems to dislike a different food group everyday at the moment so am trying to be strategic as to how I deal with it.

One suggestion would be to try and get him involved in making food - have you tried that? If you could let him "help" with cooking he might feel a bit more adventurous?

Don't forget that this is a major control issue for toddlers. I am being much more strict in how I deal with DS as I fear that otherwise he will end up pnly eating white bread. It's much easier said than done though.

How about giving him a 'normal' pasta meal but add a slice of tomato or 3 nibblets of sweetcorn on the side. An alien food. Ignore them, eat your own portion, and if he decides to try them - happy days but don't mention the alien at meal time. It sometimes works with fussy DT2,..... sometimes

Our dd had a restricted diet, although not as limited as your ds. I continued to give her what she wanted to eat, but I put a small amount of whatever we were having for our meal.
The rule was that she had to try it. If she didn't like it then that was ok. We gave her big praises for trying the different food and didn't make a big deal of it if she didn't like something, the rule was she HAD to try it.
She now eats most foods, or will at least try new things.
One thing that really helped was encouraging dd to help to prepare the food, and if chopping fruit for a smoothie which I use a stick blender to whizz it up, she held the blender with me and pressed the button. We whizz soups up as well, its amazing what you can sneak into them in soups and smoothies
It will take time and a lot of innovation on your part. Give him heaps of praise when he tries a new food and don't push it.
Have you been referred to a dietician re lack of nutrients in his diet? Might be worth a chat with your GP.
Hope this helps.

I'm assuming you have tried all the usual stuff, like making food into funny shapes, cooking with DS etc?

If it were me, I would make your DS the usual foods you give him plus a new bit of food, with an incentive to at first hold, then lick, then put in mouth, the swallow down.

So give him pasta, and on a separate plate the smallest bit of (slightly overcooked) broccoli known to man kind. Provide him an "incentive" to first hold (3 days) like (3 days), out in mouth (3 days) and swallow. The make the broccoli bigger and expect him to eat it every time.

Once you mastered broccoli move into something else that's fairly bland; boiled potato perhaps?

The incentive has to work though and it can't be used for anything other than food, also it's probably a good idea for the incentive not to be food based.

If you encourage him to eat new foods before eating his "favourites" my worry would be that you're causing issues over safe food options which may restrict his diet further.

I'm not a nutritionist or a Dr etc so this may or may not work. I look after children and this would be my approach with a really fussy eater. Also heaping praise may not work, especially if he is quite shy.

Good luck!

Give him another couple of years, and plenty of multivitamins. I had a more restricted diet than that, grew out of it when I was 6.

Food just started tasting nicer.

Theres some interesting ideas on this page in case you haven't seen it today...

Also, just an observation.

A friend called round today with her kid, and I gave all the kids a plate of cheese on toast to share. Her child picked a piece up and started eating it with every sign of enjoyment, and she exclaimed "Oh My GOD, he never eats cheese!"

At which point he promptly took it out of his mouth, spat it out (he's 3) and ailed "Don't liiiiiike it!!"

Some kids just enjoy being awkward.

Sorry navyeyelasH, I seem to be speaking out of turn. I was just passing on what worked for us. We tried the trying new food ovr a few days as you described but found it just drew it out more, but different approaches work for different children. As you know, they can be awkward little monkeys!

Hence what coditz said re her friend. This is why we didn't make a big deal of when she did eat something new, just praised her.

If OP's ds is shy, then the praise can be toned down, but children do respond positively to praise in my experience.

colditz!!!!

Maybe a slice of marmite on toast with a little cheese on toast he can then eat what he wants and the option is there to try??

Usually advice is give food, don't make a big deal over food and clear up!!

I appreciate this doesn't always work but perhaps HV could visit and offer advice.

I'd agree with not trying to co-erce your child by making him eat something new first - it will make meals so adversarial and is not that likely to work.
This might be stating the obvious, but have you explained why its a good thing to eat other things - that they make him grow etc - DD was going through a bit of a picky patch and suddenly got keen on the idea of horse riding, so we told her she needed to be a bit bigger first. Then at mealtimes we'd say 'eat up so you get big enough to go horse riding'
I also explained that by trying new foods you might get to find things that you like to eat, but that not everyone likes everything and its ok not to like some foods, but its good to try it and see.
More practical tips - try smoothies, another thread on MN tonight suggested making lollies with fruit puree, and I'd also say keep new foods being introduced low key, just a little at a time and keep the range you introduce small so he doesn't get upset. I'd perhaps also start with things that are really similar to things he already likes so they aren't so challenging - like breadsticks or oatcakes. Even broadening the range of carbs would be a good start.

thanks for all the replies...we have tried cooking together, explaining why it's good for our bodies to eat lots of different foods.....He won't eat at friends houses either....

I will start to serve up some other food on a side dish.....we will see where that gets us....

Relax, relax, relax!

Remember your son is still a very young child at only 4 years old. I speak from experience here as I have a v fussy eater - my middle dd who is 7. I have tried all sorts of approaches over the years, resulting in much stress and no success.

The thing is, the more YOU worry about it, the less likely he is to eat. The final straw with my dd was a couple of years ago when I got so frustrated, I tipped a plate of noodles into her lap and she ran upstairs crying I cried plenty that night too.

I know how you feel - it's like you've been trying for so long for their diet to improve and it's still not. I felt like that but I now realise that it WILl improve but it may take much longer than you would like. Look at it this way: many, many children are fussy eaters to some degree or another. Your son's diet is fairly limited but I have heard/read about worse (ie only eats 2 foods for example). But how many adults do you know who have such a limited diet? From my own experience, there are foods that I love now that I only started eating in my 20s. Most people gradually get more interested in trying different foods as they get older.

I would say take the pressure off completely. Don't bribe or even try to persuade him to try something new. Instead make sure you eat as a family as much as possible, even if he only eats one thing at the meal. Let him see YOU eating lots of different things. Make mealtimes fun and enjoyable with no stress and no pressure.

Is he healthy or does he get ill a lot? Some children just don't NEED a wide variety of foods. My dd eats NO fruit or veg whatsoever (apart from Innocent smoothies) yet she is rarely ill. Also, remember many children in the world survive on rice alone.

I agree with the child psychologist you saw. He WILL grow out of it but don't hold your breath, it may take a long time. I know how hard it is as a parent: my mood used to be dicated by how well or not my dd had eaten that day and I often used to phone dh in tears at teatime. But enough was enough, I decided the eating issue was not going to spoil day to day life with my children.

Good luck!

If you've tried all the above, I'd agree with Dancergirl. If he's mostly healthy, try not to worry about it - maybe have food to try available but without any pressure to try.
My step daughter was a really fussy eater - ate mostly white carbs (rice/pasta/bread) and cheese, the occasional pea and sliver of apple under duress. She got less co-operative the more fuss my DH made and in the end we decided to just stop making a fuss, two other things happened - DD age 3 and DSD started senior school where she had to make more choices about what she ate. We were busier so mealtimes became less focused on what she had eaten/not eaten and I'm happy to say her diet is much better than it was - its still a bit 'beige' but she will eat a lot more variety than before, but she's still not that keen on fruit and veg. But she's healthy and much happier at mealtimes than before.
Kids do often grow out of this - a friend of mine, who loves food and is a great cook tells a story about when he and his brother were young, they were so fussy their Mum took to giving them a cold tin of beans for dinner as it was all they would eat...

Thanks JaynieB...that's very true of ds...he will dig his heels in if we try to mske him do anything......

I will carry on giving him the same and I am going to get a good multivit...

Thanks