My kids over stimulate me and it makes me an irritable cow - what can I do???

[BrownPaperandString]

I'm someone that needs lots of down time (about 29 minutes per every half hour I think).

I have a 3 year old (constant chatter) and a neary 2 year old.

When they're in bed I'm full of good intentions for the next day but as soon as the day starts again, I find myself clawing for some quiet time. I am just getting so irritable with all of the totally normal small child behaviour. I was tucking DD (3) in to bed tonight and I was trying to talk to her ahd she kept putting her fingers in my mouth and it was so annoying and I asked her to stop but she kept doing it. Am I the only person who finds the constant chat, physical pawing and endless mundaneness of it all frustrating??

I need some techniques to stop me feeling annoyed by it all and to enjoy it for what it is.

I hear ya!

I got a book called The Highly Sensitive Child - as dd1 gets over cooked easily and I wanted to learn more about this sort of child. I realised the book is about me

Now dd1 is at school and everything has gone up 10 volume levels, and dd2 is a wild woman by nature...I'm finding it all very invasive, noisy and intense.

Noise. Noise is hard to tolerate if you aren't used to it. On days where everything is too noisy and bright for me, I tend to stay out of the house as much as possible. So trips to town, cafes, play gyms, garden centres, any where.

I also think with a 3 yo, it is fine to be firm about your own comfort zone and boundaries. I'd cope badly with the fingers in mouth thing, especally if it caried on after I asked her to stop. I'd feel chlostrophobic [SP?????????] I think it is ok to set a clear message. SImple and clear, in a low tone.

Stop it DD, I do not like it. Stop it now or I will have to stop tucking you in and go downstairs.

Then dd gets a chance, and if she doesn't stop..

DD, I am serious. Look at me and listen. Stop putting your fingers in my mouth.

DD stops, You cheer your voice up, shnuggle her and wish her a lovely sleep.

DD doesn't, wish her a lovely sleep but go.

AM I a strict old bag?

Gosh, sounds exactly like me. I physically recoil when my 4.5yr old thrusts his smelly cuddly toy in my face and shreiks and so on. Sometimes I find having 3 kids just overloads my senses and I want to pry them from my legs.
No advice other than what others have said. I also find it a lot easier being out and about with them rather than shut in the house.

You are not the only one!

I have 2 dds (6 and 4) and a ds (2.6) dd1 and dd2 seem to spend every minute they are together squabbling about trivial guff ("I like this book/ tv show/ toy more than you" "No you don't- I liked it before you even noticed it!" etc etc etc)

ds just goes around filling every potential vessel in the house up with water then pouring/ spilling it. We are also potty-training atm, so I am following him around like a bloodhound watching for signs that he needs to go- for all the good it does. Sigh.

They all talk at once, and expect me to answer. I find I am far crotchier since no 3

I need my gym classes, just for some relief. And I find I sit up into the small hours just to reclaim some time for myself. Unfortunately this then results in me being tired and grumpy again in the morning, and so the cyce goes round again...

I'm glad its just not me

The Easter holidays nearly killed me. DD2 is 3 and does not stop talking from the second she wakes up to the minutes she goes to bed. Two weeks of that made me hit the gin!She's also got hearing issues at the moment so we spend 75% of our days going:
Her "Mummy?"
Me "yes, love"
Her " Mummy?"
Me "yes?"
Her "Mummy?"
Me "where's that gin?"

I feel so guilting feeling so irritable with her but it grinds me down. She's so bright and perky but makes me feel dull and tired.

Jooly I do the same thing- staying up til 1 or 2 am to read etc and am exhausted next day...I'm glad I'm not the only one, I was starting to wonder what is wrong with me. It's this relentless assault on my senses...talking, screaming, pulling.

I make dp a primary caregiver on the weekends, so can have a sleep in. Sent them out for walks so can relax on my own etc.Helps a bit.

I get sick of the noise too. I mean, really highly stressed by it and am almost shaking by the end of the day as it's so full on .

I have diazepam for really bad days as I can't get to the gym much at the moment. My brain needs an off switch. I'm naturally hyper so 2 pre-schoolers & me are a bad mix.

I can't bear children shoving things in my face either. My own children know but still sometimes forget. Childminded children don't and I have to work hard not to snap at them.

After a day of childminding I am sooo ready for some down time. DH doesn't understand when I say I envy him the time he has alone in the car as he drives around the country.

He does usually take over for bedtime but I sometimes make my excuses when I've finished eating our evening meal and leave the other three to finish without me.

To be honest I think that getting a break is the best strategy although not always possible. It's much easier on days I only have my own DDs because they both prefer their own company for long periods so I get plenty of breaks. It's the ten hour days with other peoples NT toddlers that do for me. I do enjoy the childminding but I also relish the end of the busiest days.

God, this is me, all of it. My 3 are 6, 4 and 3 so ds1 and dd are at school but I still just want some peace and space from them.

Ds1 literally starts talking from the split second he opens his eyes and doesn't stop for breath but it's so inane and means nothing to me so I just want to rip my ears off after 30 seconds.

Dd is less talkative but has perfected the art of screeching at ear splitting decibels when either boy goes near her.

Ds2 talks constantly AND screeches AND throws 45 minute long screaming tantrums at least once a day.

Then they all fuss me and flop on me and mess with me/my hair/my clothes/my face. I love them dearly and snuggling up with them is one of my favourite things, but dear god, they do mess.

By the time they go to bed I'm ready to run screaming from the house. I also do the staying up late thing, after dh has gone to bed.

So no advice but I know exactly where you're coming from.

(Does anyone else find their dh is as bad? DH tends to talk at me when he gets in from work when the absolute last thing I want/need is someone else jabbering on. I tried to gently tell him I needed a bit of space and quiet and he got a bit offended with me!)

I work part time and some of that time I'm in an office by myself.

Someone came in yesterday and said, "Don't you want a radio on in here for some company?"

No blardy way. I have 3 DC's - 8, 5 and v nearly 2. I crave peace and quiet!!

God me too. I totally flipped out on Monday as I had just had enough of DS (3)hanging off my neck and DD (9mths) shrieking all day.

i really need a bit of a break from them and the incessant noise!!

It's so reassuring to hear I'm not mad! I do worry though because though I try to be patient, I end up snapping and nagging quite alot because I am just so IRRITATED DAMMIT. I wish I wasn't and I can see them hardening up and that was the last thing I wanted and now I'm worried I've ruined them forever.

It's tricky. As everyone says - taking time out helps a lot. I see my DH is so much more patient than me - but he has a different less irritable personality AND he only sees them 14 hours a week max (SAD) AND...he has the ability to totally tune out when he is there...

I find talking in a really quiet (slightly mental if anyone else heard it) voice when its bathtime/end of day and my nerves are very frayed. It helps me stay calm and sometimes calms my three maniacs.

I notice that 3 kids seems to be a theme here

This is me, i was fine with just dd but now she is 4 and ds 2 it really gets too me. DH can be rather errm, tactile too (they bloody get it from him) and i have found it really hard to explain the physical contact overload i get by the end of the day.

My two yr old loves my hair, playing with it etc. Unfortunately i hate it and dream about shaving it all off

I have established some 'me' time drinking 5alive the gym is great when i can go, i plug in headphones and ignore everyone, i have got a sat job in a library and just started a yoga class at surestart centre with free creche
A year ago i couldnt imagine being that 'selfish' with my time but it is definately saving my sanity
Oh and if all else fails i say its 'movie night' give them ice cream/popcorn stick a kids film on and plonk them on the sofa with a blanket while i destress

Three kids? Blardy lightweights you lot -- you trying four children when you are the sort of person who always desperately craves their own space.

My suggestion is... Get a large tablecloth and hide from them under the dining room table?

OH yes, me too.
DD's are 2.6 and 4.2 and DD1 talks all the time and repeats everything over and over until you respond witha proper sentence.
DD2 is starting to show the same tactic. If one of them wants a cuddle they both have to have one, cue them both climbing up on my lap and then fighting.

My mornig has gone like this
Convo I've just had with DD2
'i'm going to push this button mummy, mummy, I;m going to push this, see this button, i;m going to push it, mummy?'
'Yes I see'
'Look mummy, the button, I'm goign to push it, look, button, push the button?'
'OKay, just push the damn button'

DD1 ran over and pushed the button (on her fire engine, which then wails, aaak)

'Mummy, SHE pushed the button! I wanted to push the button, I push the button mummy? Mummy?'

Adn repeat

What's worse is when they are trying to help me do things and I know they want to, but I also know it will be faster if I just do it, and I quite liked being in teh kitchen on my own quietly. I get really cross with them badgering me.

oh dear, I can't seem to turn over a new leaf.
I have just yelled PLEASE. JUST GO AND PLAY WITH DADDY

They always want to do what I'm doing and as a result, DH gets to do whatever he wants in peace for hours on end while I'm fighting to even cross the floor without someone trying to trip me up.

YY brown paper, DH gets ignored in favour of chasing me up the stairs.

Um, why don't you just (if you can) have them attend a nursery for one day a week?

Sorry if I've missed the point but wouldn't it be good for them to mix with others and give you a break?

I'm single parent and work full time and try to relish the time I do have with my DD (2.8) but I absolutely know I couldn't do the full time mum thing. I'm in awe of those who do!

having a bad day here...cue mumsnet and charlie and lola on tv

My 3rd dc arrived 6wk ago and i have felt ok until today where its all got on top of me!

I can relate to the constant talking my my 2dds nearly4 and just 2..talk non stop! Also talk over each other alot to me.

And my dd2 age 2 repeats everything including my answers!

I am sick of a messy house, no decent meals for my dds (dont seem to have time to cook and my freezer supply is low)
And sick of lack of baths for us all! used to be a nightly bath. Now its about every 3nights. And invasion of my personal space can be tiring.Breast feeding a 6wk old with a dd either side leaning all over me!

And to top the noise my usually calm ds has screamed all day so far!And my moby wrap is failing me!

Rant over now.. need to get my sleeping dd up or in for a bad night. Then think ill go and try to hide in a corner somewhere!

DD1 is at nursery every day for 2.5 hours, DD2 is at nurswery one mornign a week which is all I can afford.
DD2 and I go to different playgroups every day of the week except tuesday when we do food shopping.
doesn't stop them driving me batshit sometimes when they are home.

JackBauer mine drives me insane too... I was (annoyingly) as ever looking for a way to fix things when only empathy was required. Sorry.

Mine has been an angel today while I've been feeling unwell (stinking cold, uspet tummy and cystitis) but I can't see her putting up with no activity for two days running. She's currently pretending to be a dog...

try working in a pre school(24 gorgeous children) everyday!! just puts things i to perspective for a second or two

No thanks!!

OP - I have the exact same problem i that my 2 boys seem to want to be wherever I am whilst DH gets to read a newspaper, watch telly, do chores etc in peace - it drives me up the bloody wall!!

by the time I get to sit down and read the newspaper (if at all) DH will have read it 3 times (no joke)

I also need my own space and go to the gym a lot just to get some 'me' time. Also, to one of the other posters, my DH always moans at me for not being cuddly and afectionate with him and he cannot understand that, by the time the boys are in bed, I have had enough cuddling/kissing/mauling etc.