20dd bed-time routine up the spout

[katherine2008]

This is making life really miserable for me but I'm probably jumping the gun in posting as it's been 3 nights only and I'm not feeling terribly well...

But... 20 month dd has been in a really good bedtime routine - she's in nursery 3 days a week but the routine has always been the same, play til 6, bathtime, books, 40z milk in a bottle and a cuddle, bed.
She had a bug last week, sick friday, off food til Monday. All fine. Tuesday back from nursery, obviously over-tired and screamed from the moment we went upstairs, no bath, couldn't take off her clothes, couldn't get eczema cream on, no milk etc etc etc... Eventually put her to bed and ignored her and after about 5 minutes of blood curdling sreaming she went to sleep (so actually really quickly!).
This has been repeated now Wednesday and tonight - I jumped in the bath with her yesterday and we lasted about 3 minutes (long enough to wash filthy hair anyway). Tonight I didn't offer her milk and we changed her routine and watched a little bit of ITNG with a bottle with some water in it and I put her to bed at just before seven, screamed for 5 minutes and is currently chatting to herself/then crying/then chatting.
Questions are as follows - she seems to have suddenly realised what the pre bedtime steps are, so I wondered if she was actively avoiding them - has anyone had this and does it stop or are there any ways of dealing with it? Or in your opinion is she just tired and I should just keep trying to keep the old routine going? And we are now struggling to get any milk into her as she won't take a beaker in the morning - so should I be worried, or should I be offering her something else to drink (in a beaker?) earlier on? I tried with a smoothie when she got home from nursery at 5 - in a big girls cup - but it made her cry a lot.
The crying is horrid, but I guess it just is.
Help? Tired and depressed by it.

She cries in the morning too at the moment, won't be put down until she's into her high chair and then generally refuses cereal and will only eat toast and water.

Any similar stories?

Thank you!

Keep talking through the bedtime routine with her - stick to your guns. It wouldn't be a great plan to change what you've been doing really well for ages. You seem to have it off to a T, it's just unfortunate that when they get ill it can knock them for six for afew days.

As for the milk issue, DS hardly drinks milk (but I make sure he eats cheese, fromage frais, yoghurt etc) and he's been like this since the age of 18 months. I don't worry over it because I make sure he gets the nutrients he needs from other forms of foods.

DS can resist bedtime but the warning signs of this are he is over-tired. That is the main one DH and myself always agree upon. I think that's common for most toddlers.

Thank you, that is such great advice. I always warn her several times before we do something now, whether it's leaving the park, or about to go upstairs. Tomorrow is a home 'mummy' day, so hopefully we'll have a better day.

And it's great to know that I can relax about the whole milk thing - she was a very colicky child and has never really got on with milk. This toddler lark is hard though isn't it. It's the best of times, but the hardest!

Thanks again!

I too worried over the milk issue but soon realised he's a healthy little boy and he will drink the occasional beaker of milk which is better than nothing. They get the nutrients they need from other sources of food you give them.

Hopefully one day he'll become fond of milk again around school age (he's 3yo now) and hopefully your DD will take a liking to it again too . I wasn't a great fan of milk when I was a child but will happily drink it now as an adult.

Yep, it's a difficult stage this toddler lark! Had many worries myself over the past couple of years. The joys!!

Thank you for your sound advice again. Today she has eaten non-stop and i have put her down for her nap at midday on the dot and she is sound-o. We'll try our routine again tonight... and see how we go.

Have a great weekend!