How do you let your child express they're upset / cross?

[Jaq13]

For the last few months i've been driven scatty by our 4 year old DS - he's so easily upset when things don't go right and the latest theme is histrionics whenever we have to leave / finish something.

I'm trying to find some tactics to deal with the whinging / crying / shouting / door slamming / throwing things / occasional hitting without sending the message that it's not okay to have emotions - to be angry or upset.

At the moment the 'it's not okay to ......' approach doesn't seem to be having much effect.

i'm feeling more than a bit ground down by the constant dramatics and have run out of creative ideas. Do you have any safe / positive ways you let your child express their feelings??

Thanks

I go with "I understand....".

eg
1.Me - "Time for bed, put the game away"
2.DS -
3.Me - "Time for bed"
4.DS - "WAAAHHHHHHH SNOTFAIR WAAAAHHHH" etc.
5.Me - "I know you're upset, that's fine, but it's time for bed"
6.Repeat steps 4&5 as often as necessary.

It keeps my blood pressure down.

With the slightly older children I teach I do the following

explain the activity will last till/ stop when before you start
give him a choice- put game away now and choose something to take with him out and about
compromise- tidy up together
find ways to help him calm, quiet space to have time on own. Breathing. Expressing anger with cusion.
Explain consequences calmly each time and be consistent

Always remain calm. I remember on child and I spent most days saying in a very monotonous voice
"* please put the table down"

Oh and pick your battles. Somethings aren't worth the agro!

I have the same problem. My ds is 2.10 and never accepts leaving when I say, 'it is time to go'. Today he wouldn't leave the park or his Grandmas. I am despairing over this as also want him to know he is entitled to be upset but need some kind of strategy. Sorry no advice but I will be watching this thread!

My son is only 11 months, but I know the technique my sister in law and brother use is to let their children (now nearly 7 and 10, but they've been doing this since the oldest was about 1) know how much longer they have. They give a 10 then a 5 minute warning, for example. More if it is something that needs time for clean up.

I actually do this with my son as well, even though I know he doesn't yet understand.