unsure how to deal with 9yr old dds changes..

[lazarusb]

Ok, probably obvious to most but my Mum wasn't around while I was growing up so my Dad (a Biology teacher) dealt with my puberty in a very matter of fact, biological way. I have noticed that my daughter's nipples are changing AT THE AGE OF 9!!!! which I am not ready for- emotionally- never mind her... Any advice on right time for training bras/ talking about sanitary towels etc. very welcome please? Btw, we are very open about facts of life etc but I don't want to terrify her.

Get it done ASAP. I am sure she'll have some idea about the changes and she can't have failed to notice them herself. My dd is nine next week and she has noticed the changes in her body. We had the period talk about 18 months ago, she has decided she won't ever start. Be matter of fact and open about it. If her nipples are noticible under clothes, I'd get her a stretchy short vest type thing, I have no idea what they are called sorry.

Thanks Kreecher, unfortunately she will not entertain the idea of crop top vesty things, let alone bras at the moment- she's in complete denial!

My nipples started to change at around 9 - I had a very painful lump in one and told my mum that I thought I had breast cancer!

But I didn't start my periods until I was just 14, so it might just be the beginning.

If she is in denial, what about just getting a book and leaving it in her room to start with. Then catch her at a later date to have a chat

I'm just about to approach dd (well developed 8 year old) to do the same.

What works for us is for me not to broach these kind of subjects directly in 'sit down let me talk to you' way but rather start to talk about them say, in the car or when you are washing the dishes, or when she is helping you with something.

Keep it simple and basic (your body will change, you will get hair, you will have periods and explain why and you may feel angry/tired/sad) and let her know you are there if she has any questions.

I am also looking for a good book to reinforce what we are talking about.

While we're on the topic (and if you don't mind me butting in) is 8.5 a little early for underarm hair in DD? I'm sure I was more like 10 or 11. There is only a very little bit but it did surprise me when I noticed it the other day.

I know exactly how you feel with 3 dd. My eldest is 11 and we had "the talk" a couple of years ago. She now wears a trainer bra quite happily (were has my baby gone?) In year 6 at schools they have sex education now, but I wanted my daughter to hear it from me first. Unfortunatly puberty is happening earlier and earlier.

I have just talked about stuff as it came up Luckily DD1 has asked questions too.
She has known about periods for years since the bathroom door is not locked much.
Conversations about teenagers lead to snippets of information about puberty.
DD1 is going on her year 6 residential trip soon and is taking deodorant for example. This leads us onto talking about the importance of hygiene and why children of her age need to start using deodorant and washing their hair more often [if only].

Thank you all so much, not only for your advice but for not making me like me feel like an idiot! Will find a good book and have a girly wander round a few shops (and some cake) with dd. Funny though, I've never had any problems talking to my 20 year old son about puberty/sex/contraception etc... must be the all male household i grew up in!

There are some good websites too. I would put links on but I can't remember the names of them and our PC has crashed!

If you google puberty you'll probably find some good ones you could show her after you've checked them out yourself.

My DD1 had two years between her nipples starting to grow and her first period.