Underweight child support thread

[Reallytired]

Following on from the runty thread in "Am I being unreasonable?" I thought it would be good to have a support thread for children whose weight is a medical concern.

My daughter's weight has dropped from the 50th percentile to the 0.4th percentile. We have the health visitor coming out next week to see her eating lunch. I feel really nervous and I am trying to decide what to feed lo.

Last month the health visitor came to my house and did a development review that dd passed with flying colours. I think my dd is fine as I got a 4ft mother in law.

Hello

I have 2 dd's. One is 5, one is 14 months or so.

Both are on the 9th centle, and dip and dive around.

My top tips [and don't get me wrong, I do worry about my girlies on and off] is that once they have gven the all clear in terms of sctual disorders or illnesses, and once you feel you have a handle on what your dc's nutritional requirements are - stop going to weigh clnics. We don't actually have to go.

I only take dd2 when I need to know for her car seats and so on.

I go if I think one of them is looking peaky, or seems to have faled to produce an expected growth spurt, and sometimes I go because one of them is looking rounded and it might make nice hearing!

I do think going all the time generates anxiety.

I remember you from somewhere reallytired? What thread were we on?

Should just add, my HV's were really sensible and supportive. They were very reassuring, but offered help when I hung around asked for it. That made a difference. I dodn't agree or act on everything they said, but I don't think they meant me too really. Thye just kept giving me ideas and generally tried to reassure.

We also saw a dietician. That was very informative, if slightly more guilt provoking. If only for the state of my own diet!

"stop going to weigh clnics. We don't actually have to go."

Our HV tells me each time how she'll report me if I don't turn up when next arranged. I'm scared.

"Both are on the 9th centle, and dip and dive around"

Were your daughters born petite? Or did they fall more than three centile lines?

My daughter weight is below the 0.4th percentile. It is why she is deemed a cause for concern.

"stop going to weigh clnics. We don't actually have to go."

My health visitor is coming round MY HOUSE. It's scary... Last time I went to the baby weighing clinic I had a row with a different health visitor.

My daughter is a year old and breastfed morning and evening with a few midnight snacks. I got told by this woman "You got to wean! It is against governant guidelines, she will get rickets." My reply to this woman was that she needed to retrain. The nasty health visitor then phoned up my GP and said that I had "gone bonkers!"

My named health visitor is much nicer, but thinks I should stay away from clinic and that particular health visitor.

Gawd Reallytired! Poor you! It's good you have a person you can do better business with, your HV. Rickets!?!?!?!?!?

Mine were 75th and 50th at birth, respectively.

Organichairbrush - report you where? To whom? Being reported to a paed might be great, as you might get some sensible input like Afingeroffudge, and allowed to relax. Poor you!

Reading this, I love my HV team more and more

I think HVs are trained to view all charts, guidelines and guidance very uncritically, and trained always to defer to every other professional possible. A shit job then, really. And one destined to cause problems for women who are a bit thoughtful/educated/intelligant.

Reallytired, I'm not surprised you're exhausted.

I don't think the HV knows what she'd do to me... she knows that even according to her own protocols she csn't impose anything... but even knowing that she knows does little to exarcebate my fears of Social Services climbing through the cracks in the wall to snatch DD... and then she seems to think I have something to hide, which I don't. Deeeeeep breath. And cuddle.

Reallytired, I'm also not surprised you are exhausted. Have you considered asking for a referral to a paediatrician? I know many people hate the thought, but by the time ds2 was 6 months dp and I stamped our feet and got a referral and it was the best thing we could have done.

By far it didn't solve the problems (see the still low weight and vomiting mentioned above), but the first thing the paed said was "if getting him weighed by the HV isn't helping you, don't go". This gave me an excuse. Then, and maybe I was just very lucky, but my female paed had bf her own children and was extremely pro-bf. She therefore looked at him and said he's a really happy baby, I have no worries, the problem is that he is breastfed and getting a healthy diet (by this time he was on solid foods) and being compared by many babies on the charts who are overweight. She also pointed out that the charts are skewed towards a "normality" of being overweight.

The support I got from the paed therefore really helped (I just wish I could stop really worrying about him myself).

I wanted to tell you the visit from the health visitor went really well. The health visitor brought the breastfeeding charts and my daughter is infact just above the 2nd centile rather than on the 0.4th centile. The difference between breastfed and bottlefed babies is quite large at a year.

I was also told that the meal that I gave my daughter was fine nutrionally. The only thing is that daughter threw it on the floor.

We will see my health visitor next month to if my daughter continues to gain weight.

That sounds really positive, Reallytired.

Reallytired That's great!

AcademicalMum I like your perspective on a paeds referral. If the HV stresses again, I will ask for one... the whole GP practice is very pro BF so I'm sure they'll refer me to someone sensible.

Great ReallyTired!

Given that my DD is a bit younger than others on this thread... could I ask a question?

How did you do weaning? I've been experimenting with both BLW and spoons and have noticed both that she seems much more comfortable with BLW (or is it just me?) but eats a lot more when spoon fed. I don't want to create anxiety and battles by stuffing food down her, but I do still want her to grow (and keep the HV off her back)...

Any experience?

I'll start a separate thread on this, too...

My daughter won't take food off a spoon.

I think you have to experiment with the individual baby and see what works. There are no hard and fast rules. Weaning should be an exciting time of exploration and milk is still a major part of a baby's diet for at least the first year.

Hey all, thought I'd add my 2p to this conversation!

My DD was born weighing 6lbs exactly, despite being a week overdue. She was very ill, in the neonatal unit, tube fed etc etc....they measured her milk intake to the millilitre, which was an unfortunate habit we took home from the hospital with us.

She dropped to the 0.4th centile for weight, hovered around the 25th for her height. She was monitored my the low birth weight clinic at our childrens hospital, who found nothing wrong with her, just put it down to having a rough start in life and a very very slim daddy.

She didn't reach the weight for a group 1 car seat till she was nearly 2.....although we put her in one as she got too long and too inquisitive to be in a rear seat any longer.

When at the hospital with her (for an unrelated condition), they checked her weight 3 times as they told me she was weighing in as an average 1 year old would!!

We were totally paranoid about her eating habits, and in hindsight, I wish we'd enjoyed her babyhood more instead of obsessing about how much(or little!!) milk or food she was consuming.

She's now 2.8, still very very skinny ( I don't know her exact weight as we don't see the HV anymore) - in fact she still wears 12-18 month jeans with adjustable waists pulled in as tight as they go......but she's healthy and happy!

We gave up stressing about her eating habits, if she eats - great, if not, then she'll make up for it another day.

The point to this is to say just relax. All kids are different.....look around a room of adults and note we are all different builds and heights. It all evens out in the end, and no HV should make you feel inadequate about how you feed your child.

Sorry this is long, but I get so touchy about people commenting that DD is tiny that its a subject close to my heart.

Hi leonie and lara

Good to hear from you both.

Will dust off relaxation CD and try and chill..

organichairbrush, they really are talking lots of sense. With ds2 I have stressed and stressed about his weight. Worried about every gram lost and every day when he has been picky. In hindsight it has probably made no difference to his growth (and may even have affected it negatively).

If your dd is keen to explore finger foods, let her. However, if she isn't so keen, plenty of babies have managed just fine on purees. You might find a combination works well. Just try and keep up her milk intake. That is the time when ds2 did worst, when he didn't want to take much milk. Even now for a 2 year old he drinks more milk than average (though not more than ds1), but he is finally starting to gain weight. So, if that's what he wants that's fine.

I read once that a healthy baby will not refuse food and therefore if a baby starts to loose weight, that needs to be investigated. However, giving the baby more food will not solve the underlying problem. I think it is probably true. This, despite my nightmares that the future for ds2 is hospital and being tube fed (it has been threatened) . However, I suspect the sentiment holds true.

Argh DD's foor just hit the delete key. What I was saying though was that I agree, whereas there's probably always a place for tube feeding in emergencies, it's not really a sustainable solution. I hope that things get easier and clearer with your DS.

The milk is good advice. DD has always just loved being BF, and I've always found feeding her so delightful.

I just thought I'd pop back on here and check how everyone and their dainty dc's are doing?

We are still trying to remain relaxed (though ds2 ate literally nothing today). Still, I'm hoping that long term, making less of a fuss will have some kind of influence.

Hi everyone
Such a relief to read all of this as I have spent so long worrying about my dd who is 19 months and only just 9kg. She is a traffic-stopping beauty, is never ill, eats well, bright, cheerful, has slept through the night from 2 months old - in short she is an absolute joy! But she has grown at a much slower rate than the all-knowing Charts declare she should have.
She was born late at a very good weight of 3.6kg so she doesn't have the excuse of being premature, but she dropped steadily through the percentiles from birth to the point at which the omniscient HV declared she was 'failing to thrive'. This was devastating, particularly as I was suffering from post-natal depression at the time. Thankfully when I spoke to my family GP about it, he reassured me that this was a 'healthy, happy, lovely little baby' and told me never to go back to the HV. And I never did. She was nothing but an insensitive jobsworth.
Yet still every now and then I find myself comparing dd to others and worrying, especially since I had dd2 five months ago as she is already 7kg and right up near the top of the charts. They're already in the same size clothes!
So it is great to read everybody's wise words here. It is important that we stop worrying and enjoy this precious time. Down with the charts I say! And useless HVs! (We can keep the good ones).

I'd like to add my experiences...

DD1 was 6lb13 when born, lost a LOT of weight due to an infection and weighed 15lbs at 12mths. She is now 3.10 and weighs 23lb which puts her waaaaay below the bottom of the charts where she has been following her very own curve for a couple of years! She is healthy as can be, never stops moving and eats a varied diet in huge amounts!

DD2 was 6lb3 born and is now 14mths and weighs around 17lb, she has been walking for a month and looks like a typically rounded chubby toddler...just teeny!

I wobble a lot, especially about DD1 who is regularly brought over to me by strangers in the swings who have 'taken your toddler off the top of the climbing frame cause she's too little to be up there'...I have stopped being polite about it now and just snap that she'll be 4 in a few weeks time and has been climbing the frame for two years.

I also get 'oooo...they're like little dolls'...which mightily pisses DD1 off as she's a right tom boy!

I'm glad it isn't just me panicking/worrying/feeling guilty about lack of weight gain issues. My daughter was a small baby (6lb 4.5oz at birth despite being on time) but actually gained weight in the first 2 weeks, before going back to 6lb 4oz when weighed at 3wks. The HV got me to go back a few days later and although she had gained a little, it wasn't enough, so a home visit occurred 3 days later. She has gained a sufficient amount now and is 6lb 12oz at the last weigh-in, but it has left me shaken and concerned I'm doing the wrong thing.

I'm breastfeeding, so started doubting I was producing enough, despite my LO not crying, feeding for a good long time and producing lots of nappies etc.

I also started using a dummy with her, as she was getting windy and wanted to suckle constantly, so gave her that and she seemed more content, but again the lack fo weight gain really made me doubt my choices!

My instincts all say she is developing well, happy, content, not hungry (she rarely cries!!!), not thirsty etc. but every time the HV asks 'how is feeding going?' I start to fret...

Fingers crossed for everyone's next 'weigh-in'...

Hello, new to this site, but am addicted! This thread is so reassuring, I have a 19 month old, who was on 75th centile at birth for both height and weight, and dropped to under 25th for both by the time she was 1, and she hasn't ever regained. The hospital who I have to visit as part of her food allergy monitoring seem to think this is a huge problem and have massively stressed me out about it, although she seems fine to me in herself. But am going to take heart from this thread and not worry, and make sure like people are saying, that I don't waste these precious first few years. Thank you everyone.