How old for the naughty chair?

[Clockspotter]

My DD is almost 2 and if she is frustrated and tantruming will hit either me, DP or the dog. This has been going on a month or so but now its starting to appear more deliberate. Since I want a no tolerance on anyone hitting, is it appropriate at this age to use a 'naughty chair' system?

A child of two would be unlikely to stay on a naughty chair so then you end up in a long drawn out battle over that rather than the original behaviour. I would try immediate and total ignoring. When she hits someone catch her hand saying 'no',put her down in a safe place, say 'we don't hit', turn your back and refuse to acknowledge her until her behaviour is acceptable. That could be quite a long time and she may go to great lengths to get your attention. Take this as an indicator that it is working.

Make sure you forgive her very clearly as soon as she is behaving how you would like her to.

Never - horrible idea!

Try 'How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk' - far more respectful and effective!

I would hold her arms gently but firmly and say 'we do not hit, it is not acceptable'. She'll learn it just as quickly as if you use a naughty step or whatever, but will be learning to not hit for the right reasons ie. not because she doesn't want to be isolated.

And keep cuddling her - it is ok to be angry, you still love her when she's angry as well as when she's happy, but it is not ok to hurt someone else or something else when you're angry. You only need to tell her that, though - there really is no need to punish. She is just learning.

Putting a child on the naughty step just labels them as naughty and you risk creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Oh, and your job as a parent is to teach her acceptable ways to deal with all emotions - and that includes anger. So you show her she can express her angry by screwing up old newspaper and throwing it, or scribbling madly on paper, or bashing playdough or cushions or whatever catches her imagination.

If she refuses to be cuddled, just sit close by her until she is slightly calmer, calm enough to start cuddling and then let her work out the rest of her distress in your arms.

Oh, and, sorry to keep banging on, but if she's in the grip of the big, scary emotions that make up a proper tantrum, she won't 'hear' the message you're trying to put across with the naughty chair - you'll just prolong the tantrum.

Thanks for comments.

I was wondering myself if she would even remember what it was all for after a few minutes. Just knew I'd seen Suppernanny (cringe for abuse) put a child on there for 2 mins and they say a minute per year of age so wondered if anyone had actually tried this and if it worked!

Want to be firm on hitting especially as dog involved as dont want any misunderstandings between them.