Hi there, I've been having a bit of a worry recently about whether there is anything 'wrong' with my dd (she is 3 years and 10 months) or whether we're just going through a difficult stage.
She has always been a challenging child - as a newborn she screamed for the first 6 months of her life non-stop and has then been a very clingy, nervous child who finds it difficult to join in unless she feels completely comfortable in the situation (although this is starting to improve).
She has always been going through some kind of 'phase' - she did hair pulling, poking random children etc etc.
On play dates, she is very demanding of my attention and cannot seem to play with the other children without me playing as well until 5 or 10 mins before we need to leave somewhere and then she is madly engrossed and throws a wobbly because we need to leave!! If she does go off and play, she will attach herself to one child only and 'idolise' this child. At preschool,I have been told that she only plays with one child and follows him around all session, copying what he does.
She interrupts me all the time if we have company and cannot seem to amuse herself for any amount of time (not even 5 mins) when I am speaking to another adult (although she can and does get on and play if we are home alone so perhaps this is an attention seeking thing).
She is very sensitive and melodramatic and cries (or screams!) if the slightest thing going wrong, eg her tower falls down or she can't do something first time (she has always been like this), and if she so much as scratches her finger even slightly, it is a big trauma for her! She always gets very cross when it's windy and shouts for the wind to stop. These outbursts don't go on for hours, but it is one thing after another.
She craves routine and if we alter from the norm, we need to explain what is going to happen in detail, otherwise she becomes very nervous. She always asks what is going to happen tomorrow, the next day, etc etc.
She is going through a very defiant stage with me at the moment and shouts 'No, no, no' to everything I ask her to do from the minute she wakes up, eg getting washed, dressed, breakfast, getting shoes on etc etc. She whinges and whines about having to do absolutely anything I ask!
Despite all this, she is a very loving, funny girl who can play beautifully at imaginative games and can be so loving to her 19 month old brother...at times! At other times, she cannot bear him to get any attention (even though he hardly gets any in comparison her her anyway!). I absolutely love her to bits and just want her to be happy but I'm scared I'm missing something and perhaps she needs some extra support.
I have always been able to cope with her behaviour as she's always been fairly well behaved when we're out and preschool have always said that she behaves beautifully. However, there was an incident at preschool last week where she got up from the table and went to get a tissue. When she came back, one of the teachers had sat in the chair she was sitting in and my dd apparently got very upset and started shouting at the teacher and hitting her on the arm to get her to move. The teacher in charge told her off and apparently my dd had a tantrum but then calmed down and said sorry...but I'm now paranoid that something's not quite right.
Just wondered if anyone could give me their opinion on whether she sounds like she's just pushing boundaries at the moment - or whether there's something more going on.
Sorry it's so long...well done if you made it this far!