4 year old - boring, wierd, stupid

[fruitstick]

Oh my word what's happened to my little boy!

He was 4 last week.

He doesn't want to do anything because it's all boring. If it's not boring it's wierd.

He calls everyone stupid.

And suddenly obsessed with 'punching himself in the willy'.

I don't mind the boring so much but it's the stupid that winds me up. I've tried telling him that we don't use that word but obviously he takes no notice. He's being increasingly rude to both me and DH.

Anything that can be done? I'm sure you are all going to tell me it's just testosterone but he's driving me mad.

Will I get my lovely little boy back at some stage or is this it for the next 14 years .

Yes you will and yes it is (testosterone).
I have boys and at first no one I knew - family or friends - had a boy so I was baffled in the early years... so different from girls.
It sounds like you're doing a good job, but if he's ignoring you re.stupid have you tried taking the mickey out of him? My Dad always did this with me when I was having a teenage pissy fit and it was incredibly effective. (He was earlier than Harry Enfield's Kevin the teenager but very similar!)
Dunno if this works with 4 year olds, and might be best done in your own home or you risk looking like that TV ad where the kid is having a tantrum so the Mum throws a much bigger one. (Thinking about it, it worked in the ad...I wonder... )

It is testosterone probably, although he is a little young (more usual around 6 when they have a 12 fold increase in this hormone level). It is still important to set clear boundaries about what you will accept and stick to them (sorry to sound preachy!!) I have 3 boys aged 12 (nearly 13), 9 (yesterday) and 10 months, so I have seen this with 2 of them, but we, like you didn't accept rudeness and I just told them that only boring people got bored and then left them to amuse themselves without engaging....It worked sometimes.... Good luck

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. 4.5yr DS1 has started to regularly moan that he is BOOOORED, and that it's NOT FAIR THAT YOU MAKE ALL THE RULES!!! After a five minute rant, he goes back to normal and gives me a big cuddle!

btw my boys are all lovely and only call each other stupid sometimes, never other people.... They have great manners too (so it is possible for there to be light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes that tunnel feels long, we've all been there...)

Yes boys have a massive surge in tstosterone which coincides with the early years of schooling( lucky them) and they want to run with their pack of mates. Read Steve bidulphs (sp) Raising Boys. It's very good and goes through stages of development for boys.

So what's the best way to handle it? The boring bit I can deal with, I just ignore him and make him do it anyway, and the obsession with bums and willies I guess I just have to get used to

But it's the calling us stupid and the aggression I struggle with. Particularly as he has a little brother. Although DS2 is only 15 months I don't want it to be considered acceptable that anyone is called stupid. And the stroppiness and attitude.

With behaviour problems I have never really used the naughty step or anything because I always felt that it gives too much attention. And other issues have had a natural consequence (throw toys, toys get put on shelf; hit, told off and removed from situation) but 'I don't like your tone young man' seems a little harder to police.

I'm finding this parenting lark hard!

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