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Original poster

7 year old magpie.

29 replies

TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 21:55

Is stealing an inevitable part of the growing up process, at around 7 years old?

I am pondering how to deal with a situation.

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luciemule · 02/05/2010 22:05

My DS (5) does low level stealing . He's in reception and I've noticed that he 'brings home' great lumps of blue tac, plastic school money and real money. The other day he had a mixture of UK and foreign money and when I asked him where it was from he said it was from school and he was allowed it.
He also brings home huge pebbles (and I mean one huge one at a time that fills his pocket). He says he gets them from the school garden!
What is your DS 'stealing'?

gigglewitch · 02/05/2010 22:09

my ds2 is 6yo and a total kleptomaniac, stones, 'gogo' things, cards, frogs, money :O and all sorts. I'm not convinced he quite 'gets' the idea of who owns what and the low-grade stealing that lucie mentions!!

luciemule · 02/05/2010 22:11

I forgot to mention the copious amounts of pea gravel from anywhere we go and school.
My ds really doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. He'll learn.

Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:12

It is not my DS, it is a friend's DS.

He has collected a rather large collection of crystals, rocks etc. Some of which are mine. They have gone missing in dribs and drabs over the last year or so, i blamed DD playing with them and losing them (she is now 3), but there have been a couple of incidents which now highlight he is taking them and this new find of mine is after one of these incidents was dealt with by way of an apology and return of item.

I know for certain that some of this new find are mine and some of them have sentimental value. But as they have been taken sometime over the last year, and the specific ones would be difficult to say for sure to the parents 'they are mine', and an apology has been had, and nothing else of ours has been taken so thinking whether I should just let it lie now and just say goodbye to these items. One part of me says 'what if I am wrong?' they could have been given to him, he is a one for shiney things. Also, has the matter been dealt with now? His parents have been morttified and have attempted to address it.

But if this is not a normal part of growing up, if he is not likely to grow out of it, then I need to let them know. And I would quite like the things of mine back. Even though they are tiny worthless objects.

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LynetteScavo · 02/05/2010 22:14

I think it's normal at this age, but I also think it needs to be dealt with or he won't grow out of it.

Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:16

But this boy does know it is wrong, as he gave his mum a beautiful crystal stone he found on the street. That is what he told her. He took it from our house.

He took something from someone else's house and said he found it.

He took something from someones garden and said he was allowed. He was not.

And he does 'find' an awful lot of pretty things. not huge things, like all those things mentioned, stones, pebbles, fossils, crystals.

His mother is forever saying 'DS found one of those for me' and I wonder how she is not now suspicious whenever he says it.

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:17

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:18

I think, he knows it is wrong, but not how/why/severity of it.

Except he was terrified of apologising to us. And he found that really really really hard to do. He had to give me the crystal, tell me why he had it and apologise (i was prepped beforehand by his parents as to what was going on). I felt terribly sorry for the kid. He did a hard thing. So that part of me thinks I should now let it go, as those things were taken before this. But, they mean something to me. And to him, he will lose them/get bored with them in time and they were not his.

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:19

zapaatrophe do you think it was something that strengthened you? Do you think you needed to do it, and get caught almost? Why did you do it, can you remember? was it for kicks? or because you wanted the marbles?

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:22

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:22

lynette would you say, from my later post about his apology, that is sufficient punishment, or should I let his parents know about this additional stuff?

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:24

the ones he has, they are not an awful lot bigger than marbles. I wonder if he thought, one little one wont hurt, then as he got away with it went for bigger ones. And it was a big one he took. They beleived his story. And then later he did it again and his dad challenged it and he admitted to both. I wonder if he felt unable to say he also had this little treasure trove in his bedroom not found on the beach etc.

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:24

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:26

ah ok, i remember that craze. Did you play on drains? or is that just my poor background?

I am trying to see where to go with this you see, in terms of whether this is a normal childhood thing that can define you one way or another.

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luciemule · 02/05/2010 22:29

I think that as he's 7 and he's actually lying to his parents about where the stash comes from, then I think you should mention to his parents.

zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:29

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:33

Zaza me too se london in the 80's. used to play on the arsenal too as a really wee one with my brother.

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:33

zapo not sure what happened with your name then.

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:34

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:46

yes indeed near woolwich ! AW

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 22:50

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:57

I know shooters hill. lovely up there, all the green.

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 22:59

there was a pub there i went to a few times...nice looking on shooters hill itself...it will come to me in a minute.

Thatch...no
Mill...
The three something?

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zapostrophe · 02/05/2010 23:01

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Original poster
TheRealDemosthenes · 02/05/2010 23:03

Anchor and Hope! that is the one. I also think I went in the red lion pub too but cannot say i have any warm and fuzzy feelings from it.

I used to go to school in welling.

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