my 18-m son suddenly stopped his naps

[ManuM]

Hi,

My 18-m old son was napping regularly at 1pm for 2-3 ours. Last weekend we let him sleep over for the first time at someone else's place (my sister). It went well. Monday and Tuesday, he took his nap and slept fine. But on Wednesday he suddenly stopped, started crying as soon as we put him down for his nap and since then hasn't taken a normal nap (pretty much none in the last 5 days, except when we took him in the car or prem but not in his cot). And he is now started to do the same at night (crying and throwing all of his stuff out of the bed until we come). We usually wait 15-30 min before coming in and giving him a cuddle and put him back. We also tried letting him cry out, which works once but only after 2 hours. We're quite desperate and don't really know what attitude to take.

I would start by doing a bit of detective work. Try really hard to think of anything about bedtime which has changed or might upset him apart from the sleepover. I wouldn't expect the sleepover to have caused this because her slept fine straight afterwards.

If you really can't think of a reasonable cause then he perhaps just needs to find out how much power he has. If you're clear that the bedtime you have set is giving him the right amount of sleep then you need to keep to it.

I'm not a great lover of the crying out process because I don't think it helps for children to feel scared and alone. I would just keep going back in and lying him down every five or ten minutes. Be very calm and gentle but don't speak to him.

He is at an age where he is discovering that he can influence your behaviour and make choices. It may take a while for him to realise that he can't make choices about bedtime in the same way as he can at other times.

Be patient and firm. Don't move the boundaries or he'll get confused.

Good luck

thanks for the advice. The only thing we could think of is the day before, he fell and got a big bruise/bump on his forehead. But that same night he slept fairly ok. It was the next day that things changed. Other than that nothing.

We'll stay consistent and see how it goes. but he is so exhausted now... hard to let continue do this to himself.

thanks.

Sometimes they can have a bit of a headache, toothache, etc and associate the place with the pain. If that's what happened about the nap and that gave him the idea that he can have an opinion about bedtime he just needs to find out that it's not the case.

The thing I always found hardest was keeping calm and not letting my frustrations show. I hope he settles down for you soon.

thanks makes sense. will keep staying consistent and hoping for the best.

Terrible night last night. He took an hour to go to sleep, crying. And then woke up at midnight and went on until 3am when he finally went to sleep (we were checking on him every 15min or so, comforting him). In the morning, he woke up and was happy as ever (though awfully tired) just like nothing happened. At his nap today, same issue. for 2 hours. At 3pm we went in and told him nap was over and went for a walk. He fall asleep in his prem and slept there for 2 hours. Why is the bed such an issue? Don't know.

His personality is clearly getting more dominant and recent changes happened in the way he eats, climb on chairs, go around, play etc etc... Could this be some sort of seperation anxiety?

My dd suddenly stopped taking daytime naps at 18 months. She just didn't need/want them any more. We then went through a period where she would want to nap at around 5pm & had to try & keep her going for another couple of hours or she'd be awake 'til 2am! That was hard work but before long she just stayed awake all day & went to sleep at around 7.30pm until around 7.30am.
Maybe the same has happened to your ds? Good luck, hope you sort it out soon.