NT 5.7mm worried about development

[coopergirl]

I'm a first time mum to a baby boy who is 3 months and 2 days old. I had a very stressful pregnancy as during my 12 week scan they found that he had a nuchal translucency reading of 5.7mm and, along with my age of 38, advised that I had a 1 in 2 chance of him having downs. I had the cvs test, which came back negative for all chromosomal abnormalities but it was bittersweet as I was then advised that there was a high chance he'd have a heart defect. I then endured an agonisig wait until 17 week when they could do the first of 2 fetal echocardiograms. That one, and the one at 21 weeks showed normal heart development and I was advised that there was every probability that he'd be 'normal' although they couldn't guarantee he wouldn't have some genetic disorder that they weren't able to screen for.

Anyway, he arrived, via c section as he was extended breech on 28th Jan and as far as they can tell, all is well with him. However, I was so upset by all the uncertainty during the pregnancy that I'm so worried now that he's not developing 'on time' and hitting his milestones.

I posted here a month ago when he was 8 weeks old and wasn't making eye contact or smiling. I was very grateful for the responses assuring me that in a few weeks time, id see those smiles etc...which I did, at 10 weeks he was starting to smile and make eye contact, although now, at 13 weeks, it doesn't seemed to have improved much. I still REALLY struggle to get him to look at me, he prefers to scan the room looking at lights, shelving, curtains etc, its almost as if he strains to avoid having to look at me. When I do finally get his eye, he does smile and engage for a few minutes, but then he's distracted again and i've lost him, as it were to another, far more interesting inanimate object. I know he can see as he loves his baby gym, reaching for the dangly things and he tracks objects when I move them from side to side.

I guess what I'm asking all you other Mums is how much should they be engaging at this stage? Should they be looking at you all the time, should they be smiling day and night, everytime they see or hear you? My little boy looks so serious sometimes, even when I have eye contact with him and I'm chatting or singing away, he just seems to be concentrating on me and his little face looks ever so grown up and serious.

I think I am an anxious Mum as I'm doing this on my own as a lone parent (my choice) and because of the extremely high NT scan, I can;t seem to shake the feeling that there MUST be something wrong with him.

Sorry to blather on...I just feel a bit alone at the moment and the lack of sleep really isn't helping!
x

He still sounds quite normal.

He stares at you enraptured and sombre because he thinks that you have the most wonderful face in the world and he wants to memorise every inch of it!

Does he try to push himself up a bit when you put him down on his tummy?

Does he chuckle if you tickle him? (mind DD didn't chuckle until she was 5 months old, and then only at her brother for ages, and now 8yo she's getting told she's talented and "a natural" at every new thing she tries -- getting a big head for it, too!)

He absolutely hates tummy time. He can push his head up, although he doesn't use his arms to do this, he just strains his head up a few inches but to be honest, he's so miserable when he's doing it, its hard for me to keep him there for long as he gets so distressed.

He doesn't chuckle yet, I'm not sure whether he's ticklish, I do tickle him but he's not that responsive.

He does kick his legs manically if he's happy, sometimes in the morning when I do get eye contact, he'll start wriggling in his basket and I'l get a little squeal, so I guess he must be pleased to see me?

He does do a it of 'talking' if I'm chatting to him he'll occasionally respond with some cooes but that's not too often.

I know these milestones are just averages and ever child develops differently, I guess I'm just being over anxious and am looking for things to be wrong as the NT was so high.

Sometime, he just seems like he's not that happy and that just really upsets me, like I'm doing something wrong.

I've also never spoken to anyone who had such a high NT scan and their babies turned out 'normal'.

Hi coopergirl.I'm sorry your feeling this way. I have looked up NT scan on internet as I didn't know what it was but it seeems they have ruled out any of the conditions it can point to??

Your DS sounds as if he is developing along the normal path, batting his gym, smiling, looking around etc. Babies gain alot of knowledge at 3 months and therefore have to take in a lot to do it.

How about reading stories to him, it can even be adult poems as babies seem to like the sing song tone to these.

Babies copy the facial expressions of adulys around them especially the ones who are their primary carer/s. Although you are smiling at him it is possible you look serious because of your conerns and he;s copying this. Sorry if that sounds accusing it definatly is not an accusation just maybe a consideration. Babies love to look in mirrors so perhaps play a game where you both look in the mirror and you'll be able to see your own expression which he is looking at and he'll be able to respond to you too.

Your doing a great job, it's hard alone (im lone parent too) and remember all babies development at different rates so what milestones are suggested for 3 months some babies will do at 2 months an some at 4/5 months without their being any underlying problem.

If you are very concerned perhaps you have a hv or GP you can confide in??

Sending you big hugs too.

Re- tummy time, I asked my HV about this and she said at 12 weeks it was still a bit early at this stage and often babies hate it and cry (mine tried to lift her head, vomited, then dropped her face into it ).
Your little boy sounds very much like my DD (3 months on Monday), but she's not really enjoying her babygym yet...nor does she like to be tickled... nor does she chat much if at all. I find if I take her outside anywhere he acts like she has been traumatised for the rest of the day...

I have however worked out two ways of making her smile

1. I have semi-long hair so i lay her on her changing mat and flick my hair over her so that its kinda around her head, and that way she concentrates on me rather than looking around
2. Old macdonald had a farm. nuff said.

Basically, I consider my DD to be completely normal and therefore I consider your DS to be normal since he seems to be surpassing mine I'm currently waiting for her to roll as this is what mumsnet promises...

My DS didn't like tummy time full stop!!! When he learnt to roll he would scream and learnt to roll back very quickly!!! Children are all different and op and bumble you both sound as if you have lovely babies.

Oh and bumble bless re the sick story

oh Bumble - bless your little one, my ds was sick in my mouth yesterday as i was holding him above me, singing and he posseted directly down my throat!

Humm, I've kind of parked tummy time for now, it's just too harsh watching him flail about like a beached whale...I'm more concerned with the whole eye contact smiling thing.

I've just sung him raindrops on roses as its p*ing down outside and i got a big smile in response to that, but then he became transfixed by the window blinds and that was that.

Mumbar - I've heard that babies like mirrors but when I do hold him up and chat/sing into one, he looks horrified and cries, so again, have parked that for a bit. I am mindful that I don't want to transfer my anxieties onto him so I make sure i always have an encouraging, warm and happy face when chatting to him as I know they pick up on facial expressions, I just don't think I could grin anymore, my cheeks are aching!

He's a very alert baby, compared to the other babies in my NCT group he looks practically like a toddler, but whilst he's bigger physically, he just seems to be behind them in his socialising development...I know i shouldn't compare babies as they're all different, but it is hard when you lean into your friends pram and their 11 week ld baby gives you a big grin, but your own child shifts his head to avoid you.

nothing you have put down is screaming out a problem, but given the rough start you have had with such a worrying pregnancy, I think you would be quite justified in asking GP/HV to get you a paediatrician appointment for him/her to talk things through and hopefully reassure you about your DS's development.

I agree with TotalChaos nothing shouts out to me but I would get a health professional to look at him. Your HV should be fine as they would then refer on if they had concerns but I think seeking this advice might help reassure you.

I think parking anything that upsets DS is an excellent idea but may also add the fact he is so dispondant to doing what he doesn't want is excellent news as shows his communication skills are developing!!!

Good luck with HV and keep us posted as I'm sure others would agree we'd like to know how you and DS are doing and support you.

hey Mumbar, thank you for your support. ds is absolutely not backwards in coming forward in letting me know how he feels...he has an almighty set of lungs on him!

He can be so lovely and smiley when he's in the mood, I just wish those moments lasted a little longer and were a little more frequent. Maybe towards the end of his 3rd month he'll be a bit more obliging with the eye contact and smiles. Maybe this is a boy thing as I see from previous posts that it seems to be mums of boys who are concerned with this?

Yes looking back we all seem to have DS's (me included) and mine seemed intent on avoiding all milestones he should reach and just get on with the physical stuff!!! He is still the same now and he's 5! - can't hold eye contact very well or much of a conversation but can run round pulling on blinds, jumping etc with the best of them. Perhaps thats what he was planning at 3 months when he'd prefer to look at them than me!!! Be warned!!

Hi Coopergirl
Sorry you had such a stressful pregnancy. I had a high risk of downs with my first pregnancy (my dd, no 5.6), so remember how tough that was. Just wanted to tell you about my ds who was a very serious baby - like with your ds, the smiles were far & few. At around 12/13 weeks, he still only smiled a bit in the morning and then occasionally in the evenings. I had had a very sociable first baby (my dd) so found this q worrying. As a baby, my ds never smiled obligingly at strangers - in fact he'd always look really fierce.

Ds is now 2.4, and since about a year old has been a really sociable, funny boy who laughs a lot & smiles a lot. He is quite full on though - like your ds, he has never been shy of letting me know his needs - there's always been a lot of yelling.

As others have suggested it sounds like it would be worth talking to your hv/GP - not because it sounds like there's anything wrong, but more to help reassure you.

Best of luck.

travel glad everything turned out well for you too.

Hey Travellerintime,

Thank you so much for taking the time out to tell me about your ds. I'm sorry to hear you went through that awful time with the NT scan, it's horrific isn't it. The sonographer who scanned me said 'ooooh, it looks really bad, if I were you, I'd think seriously about a cvs, you've got nothing to lose as this baby is more than likely not viable'. Not words you want to hear and it was dealt with very insensitively. I didn't enjoy one day of my pregnancy which I feel really robbed of now.

Can I ask, if you don't mind, with such a high NT on your dd, does she have any extra skin on her neck? My ds has a slightly puffy neck, like a little puppy would have when its mother carries it around in her mouth. I'm guessing he will grow into this, or maybe it will disappear in time?

Thank you again for your encouraging words.

Hi coopergirl

My best friend's son had a NT scan of 5.7mm, she had the CVS and all was fine. He is now a gorgeous, perfectly normal, walking, laughing and playing one-year-old.

I have a nearly 6-month-old DS and he sounds like he was like yours. He was OBSESSED with lights. At about 10 or 12 weeks he would engage with and smile at me then drift off into looking at light through the window, the crystally lampshade in the kitchen or at the standard lamp in the living room. And he did that thing that you talk about where he seemed to be avoiding my gaze.

Now he now smiles and babbles at everyone, he is ludicrously smiley and laughy. He rolls over, sits up and is a perfectly normal, perfectly perfect little baby. He still loves shiny things though! I can see why you'd be worried but I think you have nothing to worry about. Perhaps both our sons are going to be interior designers!

Hello coopergirl
With my dd, the high risk of down's was due to the blood test I had with the nuchal scan - neck measurement was fine, so sorry I can't comment on that. It must have been so hard for you to hear that comment from the sonographer - pretty shocking way to express it that way, and no wonder you're still thinking about it.

Maybe it would be worth finding someone sympathetic to de-brief a bit about your stressful pregnancy?

My ds at that age was also much more interested in looking at lights/trees/movement/high contrast colours than at me! He was quite slow to smile too (about 9wks) but now (13mo) he giggles, smiles and laughes at everyone and is really sociable.

One thing I would say though about tummy time - I know it's really hard when they hate it (ds did) but my nct group had a talk from an occupational therapist recently and she explained how important tummy time is for development - not just for the obvious things but also to help them develop the muscles to e.g. look around, follow something with their eyes etc. So it is perhaps worth perserving with it, what I used to do was to hold something ds really liked to look at in front of him (like [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Faces-Babys-Very-First-Book/dp/0333994175/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1 272910525&sr=8-1 this book) to encourage him to hold his head up a bit. Also if you lie him across your knee that has the same effect but sometimes they like it more.

Best of luck!

sorry link

To help your baby enjoy tummy time roll up a towel so that is is like a long suasage or roll. Then place your baby over the roll with their arms free to play with toys in front of the roll. Just have them on their tummy for a few minutes for the first time an slowly build this up.

DS1 didn't smile til 13 weeks and really didn't like looking at me either. He was a very sensitive, colicky baby (read cried a lot) anyway and like you i was convinced there was something wrong with him. Oddly he didn't even like being picked up that much, he had a difficult birth as I'd had a placental abrubption during labour and he'd been pulled out and I alwyas put it down to that.
Anyway, he's fine....normal developement, in fact he got much more into mummy after about 8 months. Even now at 3.5 he'd much rather sleep with me (and kick daddy out) he's still very sensitive but everyone's different and there's no sign on autism or anything else. I actually don't think that the signs of autism show til at least 6 months anyway.

Both my ds's, now 5 and 2, hated tummy time and refused to do it. Neither of them ever rolled over as babies either, they both have no issues whatsoever. I can totally understand why you are concerned, you are bound to be looking obsessively for signs after the terrible time you had in the pregnancy - my heart goes out to you, it really does. He is still very, very little - I think the really interactive time is a little way off still from what I remember. I really second what someone else said about getting a referral to a paed consultant - after what you've been through it would be enormously reassuring I'm sure. Also the HV's will soon start checking developmental milestones when you go in for checks - the fact that they haven't started yet shows it is still very early days for your little boy I think.

Hi Coopergirl

My DS is now 5 months and can be very smiley at times but is quite fickle about how he deals his smiles out. So people quite often comment that he looks intense, or brooding, or sad, because he won't always smile on their cues, he just does it if he wants to. I have no concerns about his development (and no history to make me worry) I just think he is quite normal and am convinced that he is going to be a tall, dark and handsome Heathcliffe type!

He also hated hated hated tummy time and despite all of the recommendations I didn't force him to spend much time on his front because he would quickly cry, vom and rub his face in it a la Bumble's bambino, or find something to scratch his eczema with. But, about a month ago, he suddenly had a developmental spurt and learned to roll, started to sit up, and was able to push his face free of the mat without any trouble at all and for quite long periods. He is as happy as larry there now.

I'm sure your little 'un will be fine. They are all little individuals and you are learning who your son is. Maybe you have a Heathcliffe too?