DS (3) kicking me in the stomach when changing his nappy. Advice please!

[lovechoc]

I'm 30 weeks pg and tonight I got DS ready for bed after his bath and I told him off for kicking once, twice and the third time I smacked him. But he continued to kick. So I smacked him again and somehow managed to get the nappy on but quickly vacated his room, where he continued to scratch my hands when I was closing the gate. I was shaking with anger so felt I'd done the correct thing by getting out his room.

After 5 mins of screaming, he calmed down on his own, and I returned and asked him if he had something to say to which he replied 'sorry'. He then gave me a kiss through the bars.

I am genuinely worried now because if he's shown he can kick me, or attempt to kick me in the stomach, what kind of damage is he going to do???

Has anyone else came across this behaviour with their toddler when pregnant? How did you handle it?

Same as with any other bad behaviour, serious face and a firm NO. Avoidance where possible (can you change the nappy somewhere else? better still do it with him standing up?).
I'm not a smacker so my solution is possibly different - the persuasion/demonstrative approach rather than the physical which is a bit of a confrontation in this situation I think and possibly making it worse.

At 3 you might be able to try reasoning - explain before you do the nappy how you are going to do it and how he can help.Tell him you trust him to help by not kicking. Then praise afterwards. You have to break the cycle somehow.

buy him pull-ups for overnight, and get him to put them on himself. unless he has any sn, at 3 you should be able to explain that kicking is wrong, and he can be part of the solution himself.

does he just wear teh nappy at night? if so, just get some pull ups.

Otherwise if he does it put him somewhere on his own until you calm down and explain to him why he musn't do it and explain there are consequences for kciking, for example he'll lose a toy. if he does it again take a toy away, then another...

He's probably a bit confused and worried about you being pregnant and the baby coming.

thanks. at 3yo I think he knows he's done wrong that's what's so frustrating about it all. Phoned DH after it happened as I was so upset over it. He said I should just walk away next time and leave him without a bedtime nappy.

I prefer not to smack him but I was struggling with what to do next and smacking seemed like the next logical step.

He isn't toilet trained during the day or at night yet (still working on that during the day!). May try the pull-ups thing.

Silly question perhaps but are you putting nappy on when he's laying down? I always found by toddler stage easier to do it standing up.

Aldi do good, fairly cheap pull ups

Oh lovechoc I thought that i was the only one with a totally untrained 3 year old and does not seem ready any time soon. As the weather has gotten nicer i have bought training pants and put her in them so that she will learn wet/dry and become more aware of her body functions they are fantastic i must say she is getting there bit by bit. I always find helpful to explain to my dd what i will be doing and that she is a big girl and should not kick. As others have said get him to try and put them on. My dd finds it difficult to put things on her legs like pull ups, pants and nappies but top half fine. I totally sympathise with you

oh definitely give the pull ups a go, there's no harm in trying is there - far better to try a practical step to get round the problem than to struggle on when it's turning into a real locking of horns between you!

Pull ups changed in front of the TV worked for me when ds was at his absolute worst for being unable to lay/sit/stand still!

Definitely give pull ups a go - will save lots of aggravation (and kicking).

past few nights have been good - no kicking. I'm going to put it down to him having a bad day.

Doing the time-out thing in his room for 2-3 mins when he has hit me or attempted to bite, and so far it's working well. Trying not to do smacking, no one benefits from it.

lovechoc - if it's any help, DD just potty trained in a week at the grand age of 3.6 - she started kicking and fighting because she just didn't want to be changed anymore, so we had a big conversation about 'if you don't want this, you have to use the loo each and every time' and she did.

we've tried that whomoved - but he's been peeing himself in his pull-ups during the day after several 30 min prompts by DH and myself. He only uses his potty when he feels like it (which just isn't enough sadly). That's great news about your DD potty trained - it must be such a huge relief!

I put him back in nappies today because I'm so exhausted having to do it all on my own at the moment (DH working a lot 12 hr shifts so all childcare ultimately falls to me most of the time). He did use the potty three times today though, so there's still been consistency.

Lovechoc, are you changing him with you at his feet? Can you go to the side of him like you would a small baby on a chaning table. tHat way he won't be able to kick you as easily.

DD was like that - she would insist she didn't need to go and then pee in her pull ups or indeed pants. I'm told you can get pull up pants which are made of towelling like real nappies but shaped like pants so they absorb but don't cushion the impact of wetting yourself IYSWIM (so they get the feeling that they have done it). But we just waited a bit.

Tried chocolate button bribery?

And yes it was a huge relief - though I still have to go and watch each and every wee and poo and applaud etc. Which is tiresome and I still have DS in nappies. He now quite helpfully strains and produces a poo when she's sitting in state (for up to an hour) trying to produce one. So perhaps in a bit I'll try putting him on a potty next to her on the loo. I could have formation pooing by christmas

Boots do reusable towelling pull ups. they are not fantastically absorbent but do allow them to feel wet.