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Angry shouty 4 year old - help needed!

2 replies

jazee · 30/04/2010 16:56

My gorgeous 1 year old son who I used to tell everyone he was my little ray of sunshine, has turned into an angry shouty 4 year old. I must admit he is the youngest of 3 boys, and my middle ds[10] does have Aspergers Syndrome and sometimes has outbursts/tantrums. Older ds[13] is dyslexic and mild communication probs.
I really thought my 4 year old was going to be a little sweetheart, but No. He makes me so cross. I used to teach so have experience with how to praise etc, and I start the day off in a positive manner but he constantly does things to irritate and has a very destructive nature. He shouts a lot - I actually thought he might be deaf. He isn't.
He so needs to be in school, he starts in Sept. He is a bright little boy who picks things really quickly and I provide many activities for him/us to do.
He buts in every time I try to have a conversation.
I feel like I have really failed as a parent

OP posts:
girliefriend · 30/04/2010 20:23

Oh no that doesn't sound good, and you havent failed as a parent - you're just knackered like the rest of us!!!

does he go to pre school? Might give you a bit of a break. Reward charts work v well on my dd (also 4).

You might find some support at a local childrens centre, they do quite a lot of parenting techniques etc to help contain behaviour and anger management (parents and the kids!!!)

Hope you have a really good day tomos!
xXx

ernietheferny · 30/04/2010 22:41

Haveyou read the Steve Biddulph book 'Raising Boys' I think it was in there that I read that some 4 year old boys can have more testosterone pumping around their system at that age than in puberty. Hence the violence and anger - it's a phase that many 4 year old boys go through. I think if you just keep consistent with your parenting and boundaries he'll probably grow out of it. My son was terrible at 4, lashing out at the whole family. Thankfully he was never brave enough to take it out of the house, but things are much better now (he's 8).
I definately recommend the Steve Biddulph books, I also liked 'The secret of happy children'. Very positive but realistic parenting advice.

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