7 year old having trouble dealing with anything that goes wrong - advice?

[lu9months]

my 7 yr old ds has always been a bit of a challenge, very emotional, a bit hyper, finds it hard to understand other peoples feelings. he is bright and doing well at school, they dont have any concerns about him. my worry is, he isnt really settling with age - he is nearly 8. if anything happens that he doesnt like eg the neighbouring child wants to play with his brother not him (because his brother is easier going), his best friend doesnt want to play because he is too rough, he gets so upset, screaming and sobbing, and saying things like 'this is the worst day of my life' and 'I dont want to live any more'. he is very hard to help when he is like this, and we tend to leave him to calm down, just saying ' we are here to talk when you are calmer'. but it worries me that he cant deal with minor problems, and I cant seem to help him. he blames others and wont accept that his behaviour might be unacceptable. any advice on why he over -reacts so much, and how to help him calm down a bit and take things more in his stride?

Sorry to hear that your ds is struggling lu9months. I know it makes you feel like a lousy parent because you can't just fix things. It does sound as if his social skills are a little underdeveloped. My ds had problems with friendships etc although he had no academic problems. It was only when he completely unravelled at the start of secondary that we got some sense made of his dramatics- he is on the Autistic spectrum. Having looked up the symptoms, everything I had been through with him fell into place. 18 months on he has settled with the help of an excellent counsellor and support in school, and has learned to manage his emotions better.
Whether your ds needs checking for this or not, management techniques would probably be similar. Keep his life fairly structured and don't spring surprises on him. A visible calendar/chart will help him feel more in control of his life. Allow him to express his negative feelings but point out when they are not reasonable. Distraction once he has got over the initial disappointment may also soften the blow of rejection. Do talk to the SENCO at school, they should be able to help. Good luck.