why is my toddler the naughtiest?

[Clare123]

My 2.9 months is being so naughty at the moment. I am not really sure where to start, but may be if I tell you about my day.

1. Won't eat breakfast and then spit milk at me.
2. He hits his sister/ throws toys at her or me.
3. Shouts all the time.
4. Ruins other children's games - breaking train tracks, taking toys. (He does not always do this and can play, but fairly frequently).
5. He kicks anything!

I try to praise positive behaviour and do time out, but I am not sure what else I can do.

We do have good spells when he behaves ok, but every so often he gets really, really naughty and I am not sure why!

He's just pushing boundaries and finding his place. Stick to your guns!

I feel your pain, my son has just turned 2 and we have had the tantrums for a few months now. he can be well behaved but then other times, hes like the devil! i would agree with bingybong, stick to your guns and be CONSISTENT, eventually they learn, good luck!

He can't be the naughtiest toddler, because that prize went to my DS2 some years ago

Try and keep the emotional temperature down - remember - it's not personal, and he will (in all probability) turn out OK.

Distract, and avoid problems - make sure he is fed and rested (mine had a complete personality change when hungry).

When disciplining, aim for "bored policeman" rather than "shrieky harpy" - get down on his level, lower your voice and speak clearly and calmly. Once it's over, let it go and have a cuddle.

Try not to label him. He is normal - and all those people whose toddlers aren't causing them problems now, will get it in the neck sometime, or with their next child.

Have a look at "Playful parenting" to try and defuse confrontational situations. "Tantrums" by Michelle Kennedy has lots of top tips

If he plays up at toddler groups/soft play. limit your time there to very short periods, get out if it's turning sour, or give it a miss for a while.

Try and have time alone with him and let him direct the play

Get time off from both DCs if you can. Toddler and baby is the hardest time

If he doesn't go to nursery/playgroup - consider sending him for a few half- days.

My DS was much better if we got out of the house by 9 am, if we left it later he played up. Maybe he's bored.

But he does sound like a normal toddler.
My DS used to eat on a plastic sheet, and that corner of the dining room was always being cleaned as his food was always thrown around the place.

Yes, get out early, then you can watch DVDs do craft activities all afternoon

Thank you soooooooooooooooo much! I really do appreciate it!

we had a better day today and he does not feel such a handful! Lots and lots of positive praise and ignoring the silly bits! it's a long road isn't it?!

lol, thought you were talking about my 2.5 year old. His preschool phoned me today and straight away I said 'Whats he done now?' in fact he didn't do anything THIS TIME, but he throws things, shouts, hits, spits, pinches, bites and he is on the go all the time. We do time out etc but nothing works

Mine is like this sometimes (he's 2.8). I try to put it down to poor impulse control - he has a delightful habit of throwing plates of food on the floor at the moment because he doesn't have the self-control to not do it.

He always says sorry (sometimes under duress, ahem) but it is so frustrating!

He goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and is fine there - he just likes winding me up!

Sorry, he can't be, because mine is. I can't leave the house with her at the moment.

OP could be me. today we did really well at tumble tots until DS 2.9 was accidently hit by a mum thrown frizbee. he jumped off the equiptment to run at the nearest little boy with a frizbee and kicked out at him

he'd already been warned re kicking(things not people) before we left so i took him for a time out. 5mins later we went back in and he started running off (he knows i can't keep up due 5 weeks) and disrupting the others.

i had to take him out and sit in the car to wait for his cousin to finish whilst i bawled my eyes out.

he is not agressive when at pre school but he only started at easter and only just settling. hes not agressive at playgroup with grandma but can be with me at tumble tots and sometimes with his cousin who he spends a few days a week with.

weve started the naughty chair etc for really bad things like last night when he laughingly bit my bump. he wasnt in a temper and think he was playing but it breaks my hearttelling him off constantly, trying and failing to keep calm

sorry for the hijak but does anyone think the preparing for baby, starting pre school, preparing to move house, me not doing as much as could before maybe exaggerating behaviour? am i making excuses?

sorry for the winge. OP you are not alone.

So glad it isn't just me!! My ds is 2.6 and THE most contrary child I have ever come across. I find it really hard to get him to do anything I want, and nigh on impossible to stop him doing what he wants.

I have taken to giving myself "time out"- to go and practice my silent scream at the bottom of the garden.

I have no answers. Just faith that the dogmatic "we do not hit/ kick/ eat soap" will eventually break through his stubborn wilfulness!

Hate to hijack but NinthWave can I ask you something?

You replied to my thread about the inflatable baby nest toys a while back. You said you had one when DS was 5 months and he kept flipping himself out of it. Could he roll, crawl or bum shuffle at the time?

Hi nappyaddict, I remember your thread He could roll but nothing else - he used to push his legs against the side of the nest and flip his body out.

Could he sit unaided at the time?

j08807 to answer your question: YES. And the fact that he is a TODDLER

No, but he was pretty strong and used to love going rigid with straight legs etc.

Reward charts work really well and are a way of bringing positive reinforcement, which is extremely effective and vital at this age. There are plenty on the market for this age group or you can make your own. For example go to: www.squidoo.com/starchart
Good luck!

Thanks Nanniejo. Do you think they work for 2.9 yr olds? I thought he was a bit young.

I suppose I should answer the OP after rudely hijacking

My 2.9 months is being so naughty at the moment. I am not really sure where to start, but may be if I tell you about my day.

1. If he doesn't eat his breakfast don't fret just take it away. I would probably ignore spitting milk - as it sounds like it is something he is doing to provoke a reaction from you. If that doesn't work give him breakfast foods that don't have milk that he can spit out. For example toast, porridge, dry cereal, omelette, egg, pancakes etc

1. Explain to him why we don't hit. It's not very nice, it hurts, makes people sad, must be gentle etc. Remove any toys that would really hurt if he threw them at you. Give him toys he is allowed to throw into a bucket or at a target. Teddies, balls etc.

1. Remind him to be quiet but I wouldn't really tell him off for it. Small children often have a one volume setting and don't realise they are being loud.

1. Where does he do this? Does he go to nursery or is it at toddler group/soft play type settings? If the latter then I would warn him and if he did it again then I would take him home. Again explain it's not nice, it makes people sad, he wouldn't like it if he has spent ages building something and someone broke it.

1. Give him things he is allowed to kick. Soft/inflatable balls or skittles for example.

I would add:

1. Don't expect them to get the message straight away. At this age it is a drip-drip message

1. This too shall Pass