Too much talking at school...

[ihearttc]

Just after some advise really. DS is 5 and in Reception at school. He is a bright little boy and not really naughty but quite mischevious and talks an awful lot...especially at school when he is not supposed to be talking!

He's just told me that he's had to move in a special place at the front of the class right next to the teacher which in his words is where all the naughty children have to sit because he was talking yet again when he wasn't supposed to be. He's actually very upsrt about it and initially I thought it was because he was away from his friend but he's said its because it makes him sad because he isn't really being naughty. I know he is to a certain extent but he's hardly hitting and punching children like several of them seem to be doing and at the end of the day he is only 5...surely the best solution would be to just move him away from the friends he is talking to.

Im probably being totally irrational about it but I have had a long chat with him and told him that he really must not keep talking when he is supposed to be being quiet but Im really struggling with telling him to not talk. Am actually crying writing this but I never thought Id hear him talk even half as well as he does now...he had his tonsils/adenoids removed at 2.6 and before that he didn't really speak at all. His speech then came on hugely for the next year until he then developed a stammer which was just heartbreaking after all we'd been through to actually get him to talk and he just totally clammed up because it was so much effort for him to get the words out. He is absolutely fine now but there is always a fear in the back of my mind that he's going to go backwards again.

I don't think it helps that he's getting a bit bored at school to quote him "all we do is play & do the sounds which I already know" and all the talking seems to occur when they are on the carpet and supposed to be listening.

Any suggestions? Have told him that he needs to think before he says anything and whatever he needs to say can wait until playtime but not quite sure what else to say.

A

Oh no, that must be really hard to hear that your child has been in trouble, never mind for something that isnt his fault!

You mentioned his problems with tonsils/ adenoids I know they can effect the hearing later down the line so may be worth getting that checked out. If he cant hear the teacher he may get bored trying to hear and give up.

I would book a meeting with the teacher, half of what kids say is just misinturpreted so he may be overreacting.

The teacher should be able to show you the work he is doing and the two of you can discuss if it is challenging enough.

Maybe do some extra bits at home that will keep in interested in studying in general.

Do they have any programs for over acheivers?

Its such a shame, there needs to be a balance between giving him a bit of credit for being bright and therefore maybe bored - but also conforming. Sadly he will have to learn that his behaviour affects others and he has to toe the line

Good luck xx

It's a shame, he sounds like he's a bright young boy who is probably a wee bit bored in class......unfortunately he is going to have to learn to button it when the teacher tells him to. It sounds like she has moved him out of the way of the chattees! Keep reinforcing that his views are important but that he needs to put his hand up if he's got something to say and wait to be invited to share his thoughts.Does the teacher offer a reward system for good behaviour? If she does then you could reinforce this reward at home if he complies. Good luck!

Oh bless, don't cry!

Its' a shame that he feels he is being punished, but I think the teacher was just trying to keep him quiet while she was talking to the class. It's not the same as hitting, but can be equally disturbing to the rest of the class.

How long will he have to sit near the teacher, was it just today, or will he have to sit there every day?

He does sound like a bright little chap, but no child is perfect, and talking too much seems to be his weakness!

All the most succesful and dynamic grown ups talked too much in class x

Thanks all-have stopped blubbing now! It was so awful seeing him so sad cause he is normally so happy.

I don't think they've got a reward system but I was going to have a word with his teacher and ask her to tell me if he's listened and been quiet each day and then do the reward chart at home.

Lol...he is far from perfect-he is a little monkey and I think he knows that he mustn't do it but when it comes down to it he can't shut up! I don't think he's shouting out or anything(he's actually quite shy in a group setting) but its the talking to friends next to him which seems to be the problem. As far as he knows its every day but obviously 5 year olds are not the most reliable form of information!

It was his hearing that caused all the problems in the first place...he had huge tonsils/adenoids which gave him severe glue ear and he literally couldn't hear anything so it may be worth getting his hearing checked out but I honestly think its a behaviour thing rather than a medical thing.

It is a very common thing in little boys to be unable to stop talking. I have one exactly like it. Unfortunately, it does disturb the lesson and gets in the way of the other children learning, so I am afraid the teacher has no choice but to clamp down on it. It doesn't seem as if she is being harsh or cruel about it though, just firmly moving him away.

If I were you I would try to aim for two things:

first, I would try to forget his earlier medical problems in this context (unless you are absolutely sure that they are causing his current behaviour). The fact that you were upset and worried about him 3 years ago can't be allowed to colour your perception of everything that happens to him forever after; if you see everything in that light, things will be far more hurtful than they need to be.

secondly, I would not actually punish or reward him for things that happen at school. The teacher is already dealing with that; you need to trust her to do that. You concentrate on having a nice time with him at home and don't worry too much about things that have already been dealt with.

I agree completely with cory. DS talks all the time too. All the time. And he is in year 4 now. I do talk to him about it at home, and I tell him that it's not something I can tolerate in my classes and why. He understands, but he still talks too much .

Ds (5) is a talker too. If he sat any closer to the teacher he would be sitting in her lap. According to his teacher he doesn't listen either (although as if by magic he is able to do all his school work quickly, correctly and without asking for help ). He has perfect hearing (teacher asked me to get him tested).

I have come to the conclusion that ds's teacher has failed to sufficiently engage him in class and I'm hoping that year 2 is better.

I do continue to remind him on a daily basis that he must be quiet in class but some days are better than others. I have expectations of behaviour for ds at home but I think it is up to his teacher to manage his behaviour in class.

DS has fab teachers. He is engaged. That's one of the problems - he isn't just passing the time of day. He's interested and he talks. But he isn't the only child in the class, and he really does have to stop it when he is asked to. But yes, I let them manage his behaviour.

tbh I never blamed ds's teachers for failing to engage his interest. If he keeps nattering, he will never find out whether they are interesting or not.

DS2 is in Year 1 and is 5. He talks non-stop too, and frequently gets in trouble in school because of it. I haven't actually found a solution, but if its any consolation his work doesn't seem to have suffered due to it.

I don't blame the teacher, DS2 seems perfectly interested in what she is saying, its just that he would like a one-to-one conversation about it at the expense of the other 29 pupils in the class!

foureleven I agree
(I talk too much at work too)

Thanks all! Didn't have a chance to chat with teacher this morning as there were about 10 parents wanting a word so will see how it goes for now.

Helyg-thats exactly how my DS is...he is very interested in whats going on but would like the teacher all to himself for a bit I think! He's obviously taking it all in tho as they had to answer a question this morning about a story the were listening to yesterday (when he was chatting!) and he knew all the answersn and gave me a complete run down of everything that went on so its going in somehow!

Im not going to "punish" him at home now either and just let the teacher deal with it-I know that they will separate him and his friend next year anyway when they go into Y1 so hopefully that might help the situation.

Thanks everyone for all your help-good to know he isn't the only one!