23mth-does she really understand?

[Clockspotter]

We've just provided our 23mth DD with a Gro-clock as she's waking at 4.50 every morning.
She has blackout blinds and I've moved her bedtime from 7 to 8 in order to try and avoid such an early start but nothing seems to work.

The trouble is when you go in to calm her and try to tuck her in again she shifts from being upset to downright headbanging hysteria which she can keep going for a good hour until her clock changes to show the sun. At which point we go in and make a big fuss of getting her up.

Its horrendous for me to lie listening to my little girl crying in the semi-darkness on her own but my partner is convinced she understands the principle of the clock and is just pressing the right buttons so she can come into bed for cuddles- if she is taken into our bed she doesnt go to slepp but starts demanding stories etc.

I work full time and the long days are murder. Does she really understand what we are trying to do or are we asking too much of her at this age?

Hi clockspotter, my DD is 25 months, has really very good speech and understands all that I say to her. She chooses to ignore me most of the time but that's another story! I would say it's unlikely that she would understand the concept of the clock. I think it's more the kind of thing a 3 or 4 year old would get to grips with. My DS has had one of those clocks with the rabbit ears for about 6 months, it works for him but he's just turned 5.
I really sympathise with the early mornings, you must be exhausted. Have you tried putting loads of books and toys in her bed so that she has something to do when she wakes up? Other than that could you and DH take it in turns to get up with her in the mornings?
Good Luck x

By the way, that whole tucking back in and calming down thing never worked with either of mine, it just made them VERY angry.

i would say only u can answer that, as u no how developed ur dd is, i feel mayb its a little early for her to understand but what else can u do, if she doesnt get it now she will soon, poor u, must be so tierd!

I thnk its highly unlikely she understands the concept of the gro-clock, I know my 2 year old wouldn't! children that age want to get up when they wake up, and its very difficult to persuade them to stay in bed as its boring for them. I agree that she is pressing the right buttons to get what she wants (cuddles in your be) so you could try leaving her for a while and if she doesnt go back to sleep then just get her up. I'm sure its just a phase that will pass. does she nap during the day? if she does you could try cutting back on that to see if it has an effect.

Mrs L-a-L, SO glad your two respond the same way ie. get hopping mad. Everything I've read on the subject suggests that you give them a loving cuddle and tuck them back into bed. Pah! Even if I manage to prise her vice-like grip from my neck theres no chance of getting her horizontal! Guess theres no middle ground; we'll either have to be heartless and leave her to sob alone until she gets the message or give in and hope its a phase. Was vainly hoping there might be a soft solution but this is toddlers isnnit?

Grapes, she does nod and repeat when I say 'star is for sleeping, sun is playtime' and does the actions but I suppose she would, wouldnt she? She does nap during the day at nursery, but as all the kids do I'm loathe to ask them to keep her awake!

Thanks all for advice and sympathy!

I think you're right - it's just what toddlers do. I also agree that it is unlikely she understands the concept of the clock. My DS1 was more like 3 when he got it and my DS2 is now 2.8 and I don't think he would understand it.

I think it's very difficult to fight with their body clocks and I know what you mean about the books saying give them a nice cuddle and shush them back to sleep; RUBBISH!!

For me, I found it was easier to deal with psychologically if I accepted that this is what time we get up, rather than starting everyday with a struggle. Saying that, 4.50am is hideously early, but it won't always be like this: this too shall pass and all that

mine did this. was difficult and overtired. Does she also have an unusually early morning nap? I moved the nap to midday and only let her sleep an hour (she was doing up to 2 1/2 if she could). had to be very strict but it sorted it out after a week. She now sleeps til 6.
tips came from the dr ferber sleep book

I too have grow clock (am greedy and want her to stay in bed / bedroom til 7) and she understands full well (nearly 3 now) but doesn't care and still comes in to us.

Good luck, it's really awful when they are like that. terrible way for you to wake up every day too.

Am I going to get flamed for this ? We dealt with this by living with it - it really is just a phase they go through.I used to get up make a drink (for both of us) and lie and semi - doze on the sofa whilst they played quietly with toys or watched tv.

sharbie, not flamed but I think you deserve a medal. we lived with it for 8 months and it nearly split us up as we were all shouting and ready to go back to bed by 8am instead of going to work. it was a very, very hard time for us. thankfully number 2 has been a good sleeper up til now..

I don't think she'll get the sleep clock either, DS1 didn't really get it at almost 3. How are things at the weekend if she doesn't have a nap. If it makes a big difference you just need to tell nursery that she's not to have a sleep. They will find a way to deal with it.
I couldn't get up at 4.50 every day and work you must be exhausted.

I've got one of these clocks, not groclock brand but the john lewis one although i think all are similar, and the leaflet said they won't get the day/night concept til around 30 months (2.5 yrs) and just to use it as a night light til then. I did get it thinking of using the day/night thing for my ds (21 or 22 mnths i lose track..) but I don't think he will really understand it at all, so just using as a night light for now.
Not too sure what to suggest really, but i think your dh is expecting too much of her saying that she understands the clock and just doing like this on purpose

It is very possible that she would understand. My 24 month old DD would understand perfectly, but she would not be willing to obey the clock.

I would make sure that all daytime naps are cut out if you are having problems at night. My DD doesn't sleep in the day and it works for me.

Such a young little girl cannot deal with the emotional aspect - ie she's awake, she wants her mummy but the clock says "no". I don't want to be rude, but considering how my own DD is, I think it is a cruel strategy at this stage. Your child is little more than a baby, just like my DD.

My DS is 4, I have shown him that we have a digital clock in my bedroom. If the first number is a 6, then he knows that I probably still want to rest. Once the first number is 7, he knows that it is time to get up. Even with this full understanding, he does still want me to get up at 6 something!

My DS is 27 months and he would not understand a clock like that. He talks well and understands a lot but when he is just woken up, half sleepy and calling for Mummy all he will understand is a cuddle or no cuddle!
I'd get your DD up and snuggle up on the sofa together watching cbeebies/dozing tbh until this phase passes, sorry

Thanks for advice all. My instincts tell me 'whats wrong with a little girl just wanting a cuddle', especially as she doesnt see us weekdays and is at nursery. She is getting 9 hours after all.

120, I find shes napping as early as 9.30 on a weekend although only for an hour. At nursery she sleeps 1-2pm.

I am regularly hitting the sack at 9 to compensate but its just that psychological thing when you see 5 on the clock and the fact you've done 4 hours before you even start work!!

Clockspotter you have my sympathy. My DS is 22 months and is an early riser. When the clocks changed his bedtime was pushed back an hour and he got up an hour later but he got wise to this after about a week and now wakes up early again (but still has the later bedtime ).

We tend to just bring him into bed with us when he wakes up and often he'll go back to sleep for 1/2 - 1 hour. Not ideal, but we're living with it for now. I don't think he'd grasp the clock concept tbh and his understanding is pretty good generally. Mind you, he does nod and say yes when DH asks him if he's going to score the winning goal in the cup final!

sounds like regression, but have you tried milk at that time? dd went through this phase and she was often hungry. a cup of milk, a cuddle and back to bed (all in the dark) worked for us - some of the time! Agree though, my dd would have understood what the clock meant, but not necessarily abided by it, or understood exactly what she should be doing at each time. She is now 2.8 and would totally understand and abide by it.

I also find very little sleep in the day (30 mins max) couped with an early bedtime - 7 pm, helps her sleep better. Seems that the more tired she gets, the less she sleeps, it's like her brain can't switch off.

sympathies though, we have had many periods of early rising throughout dd's short life - it's by far the worst torture I've ever suffered

There were some threads on here a while back about "wake to sleep" where you get up an hour before they normally wake and rouse them. This is supposed to alter their sleep pattern so they sleep for longer and after after a few days you try leaving them and hopefully they sleep longer. Not a personal recomendation as I haven't needed to try it but you could do a search on here if it sounds interesting?

Yeah, I wouldnt have a problem if she would go to sleep in bed with us but she takes it as a signal to get up, play with Mummys phone or demand stories.

I wonder if the milk thing might work tho' as it has crossed my mind she might be hungry?

Hey, ho, I know it could be a lot worse, I am still getting 7 hours if in bed by half nine. I know some that are still getting up 3 times a night!

milk is definitely worth a try, at least you can rule out hunger if nothing else

If its any consolation (and I know how much it will be) dd has always been an appalling sleeper, up a few times in the night then early rising. Now she sleeps for 11 hours straight, sometimes 12 and wakes anytime from 6-7, it was later (7:30) in the winter months, though earlier (6:20ish) now the lighter mornings are here. She normally wakes to the sodding pigeons "calling to their babies" as she informs me . I have never felt more inclined to invest in a shotgun