Should I be concerned about my dd's height - is she too tall??

[MeAndMyGirl]

Hi

My DD has always been tall for her age - she is 5 next week and in size 9/10 clothes and adult size 2 feet. I am not concerned but she is starting to become self-conscious. The nursery commented today that she is trying to stoop so she is not towering over the other children. The nursery also hinted that I should take her to the doctors to be checked.
I have talked to family and friends and I don't think I need to take her to the doctor - she has been in last year for minor ailments and the doctor has not commented on her height. She also attended childrens hospital when younger and they commented then that she was likely to be a giant.
I don't want to make an issue of her height if she is just naturally tall - or do you think I should be concerned??

So what's her exact height, then? Where is she on the percentile chart?

she is about 120 centimetres in height and on 98 on percentile chart

and how tall are you and your dh?
My ds is 110cm and he is 3
I am 6' and his father is 6'2"

I am 5ft 8inches and her dad was about the same; however both sides of family do have people over 6 foot

120cm doesn't sound too tall for a 5 year old tbh. My dd is tall though so I'm coming at the question from that angle. I am surprised she needs size 9-10 clothes though at that height.

Why not have a word with your gp if you are worried?

I think you should be concerned that the nursery think that the solution to your DD becoming self conscious is to take her to the doctors! Isn't it part of their job to help bolster her self esteem and address any issues she might be having (in discussion with you of course)??!

Seriously, I wouldn't worry overly. I can't see how being tall can be a medical issue (unless a symptom of some other syndrome, which would surely have been picked up by now). If you're worried you could mention it to the docs next time you go.

I had a couple of tall friends at school and they did become stoopy though, which was a shame, as nothing wrong with being an Amazonian goddess! DD2 is off the charts for height, although still v young, so am looking out for any tips to help make her less self conscious about it.

I don't think that is that tall, DD1 is 112cm, size 11 feet and she is 4.2 months, in 6-7 yr old clothes currently (for height, the waists all need adjusting though)
I very much doubt a dr visit is necessary, I was always the tallest as a child and am telling DD how she is tall so she can see everything whereas her friends won't be able to, bit simple advice but it makes her proud to be tall and stops the stoop afaik.

bum,s didn't mean to post yet.

Rememerb that the centiles are average measurements, that means that most children will be around the middle but there have to be some children right at the top (DD1 is 98th) and some at the bottom (her BF is on the 5th) otherwise the charts would be meaningless.

Have just looked in dd's red book to check... she was a wee bit shorter (5cm) at the same age. She was tall all through primary school. Now in Y8 she is very much being caught up and frequently overtaken by many of her classmates.

Anyway apart from that I would second everything lukewarmcupoftea said. Good advice.

Agree with all the others. If you are worried about some kind of hormonal thing, then I think you are worrying unnecessarily, given your height and the heights in the family.

I stoop terribly, I always wear flat shoes, I had all the "did you fall asleep in a growbag?", "is the air thin up there?" jokes throughout my teens. Teach your dd to be proud. In any case she may just be having a growth spurt, her height gain may not continue exponentially.

Kids will always find something to tease other kids about, if it isn't height it's lack of it, or big ears, or funny shoes, or freckles.

thank u so much, feel so much better about it now; i agree with your comments and will be looking at making her feel proud of being tall and its advantages

Ah JackBauer, I've got this lovely picture of your DD walking round, holding hands with her little boyfriend. Bless.

best friend, not boyfriend! Boys are silly and mean, apparently. (long may it last )

Her best friend is a month younger than her but actually shorter than DD2, who is 2.7. They had a water fight last time they were here and I changed her and had to dress her in DD2's clothes. makes no difference ability wise, she's just shorter and DD1 is taller. I don't think they are even aware of it tbh.

I was a very tall child myself and inclined to stoop to make myself appear to "fit in". I think what would have helped me would have been a few "famous" tall role models - there seemed to be a dearth of them in my childhood! Does she have any tall girls/ladies, famous or otherwise, who she especially admires? I'm kind of thinking outside of the whole supermodel thing, obviously. I'm already starting to cast around for people my own tall 3-y-o DD might relate to in case she gets self-conscious as she gets older.

And I would def ask the nursery to come up with ideas/games to encourage your DD to stand up and be proud of her height.

I always tell my dd it is great for a girl to be tall - and she thinks so too. It's true, I wish I were taller, I do think taller women get taken more seriously than petite ones.

Only problem I had when we were in Germany (and I thought the dc there were quite petite generally, although they seem to sprout in puberty and end up quite tall), was that since she was a good head taller than the other kids her age, people would assume she was older and therefore capable of more than she was.

For instance her violin teacher would assume she must be able to do things she could not yet do since she looked so much older than the other 7 year olds she taught. I had to keep telling people, yes she is tall but she is only 7. This happened a lot with sport. Where we are now, she seems average height for her age so we don't have that problem anymore.

I am pushing 5'11 and spent the whole of my childhood being the tallest in the class, and having to stand at the back so "others can see". During teens it's not great - although the range of clothing is much better now - as boys (and many other girls)are still fairly short. But once you hit university - well - never looked back.

I love being my height. I can see over people, can reach things from top shelves, rarely get patronised, have long legs, ([whisper it] can put on weight and no-one notices) and the boys eventually catch up. I love wearing high heels and never stoop.

As for role models (other than me or my colleague who is 6'2" and never has fewer than 2 or 3 men on the go at one time (not to mention being a highly successful and respected solicitor):

Michelle Obama
Allison Janney (CJ from the West Wing)
Sigourney Weaver
Nicole Kidman
Carla Bruni (hhm... perhaps not!)
presumably a lot of the Olypmic swimmers must be quite tall - Rebecca Addlington etc
Paula Radcliffe

I'd like to put more business names in there, but strangely, the articles about them don't mention their height, although I think that it is fairly well agreed that in studies tall people are perceived as being "more successful" and senior women are taller than the average.

As for the nursery - unless you think that there is a problem - genetic or otherwise - surely they should being encoruaging better posture and/or the joys of her height, like being able to pick things off high shelves.

My DD is 18 months and all I hear (usually as people gaze up at me - often without connecting the two ideas ) is "gosh she is tall". My response "yep" .

Sorry - rambling, but hopefully encouraging!

Right - one Amazon off to bestride the world like a Colossus.

that should read....

and the boys men eventually catch up

there aren't a lot of medical reasons for children growing quicker/taller, the main ones are a hormonal imbalance, or marfan syndrome, but they are both easy to detect from a medical profession point of view.

she is still within the growth chart so i doubt they will test her for anything especially since you and her dad are both tall anyway.
Did you not get her potential height calulated? there should be a page in her red book where you can do it yourself.
If it helps my DS got weighed and measured today and is on the 99th percentile for height and 77th for weight, so she isn't abnormal.
and once she gets to primary school im sure there will be a few others who would have caught up by then, maybe she just needs a reassuring talk etc.

I agree with the others, really - if she's not even outside the centile lines for her age, then she is not, by definition, abnormally tall. I have to say, though, I was somewhat surprised that she is in age 9-10 clothes. My ds1 was, when last measured, about 125cm tall, and is in age 7-8 clothes (not that odd, as he has just turned 6, so a year older than your dd). Anything bigger would look utterly ridiculous on him, but then he is very willowy (ie skinny with a long but otherwise small frame, iyswim) rather than being a big person. Height-wise, he is in age appropriate clothes if you look at the height guidelines in the labels.

My DD is lanky, 105cms at least by now and only turned 3 this week, I think that tips her off the top of the cenctile scale. She is slim and tall and willowy, I am not, I am envious

My daughter is tall for her age and at her nursery the teacher is always pointing her out to other mums saying she's only 2 you know and sometimes I feel like she's making a freak show out of her. My husband is 6ft 4 and I'm 5ft 6, she was 57cm when she was born and will no doubt be tall when fully grown but I've already decided to go down the root of saying that when she's older she'll be able to pull all the fellas that are tall like daddy. She's wearing 3 to 4 clothes and I have to get things with elasticated waist as she's such a skinny minny. How long was your daughter when she was born? I would nip the stooping thing in the bud though otherwise she could end up with back problems at a later age. Stand tall and be proud I say!

i am 5.11 tall, and was without exception the tallest child in my class for most of my school career. i was extremely self conscious.

my mother did actually take me to see a doctor when i was little and as i was in proportion nothing was wrong.

my mother is only slightly above average height herself, and although she tried to advise on how to cope with the teasing she didn't have that much of an understanding of the situation. her main piece of advice was to counter comments about my height with a smart remark back. unfortunately this only left me feeling my height was something to get defensive about.

so from an insider's point of view here are my top tips!

When people comment on your daughters height, treat their remark as a compliment. "Yes, she's tall, isn't she lucky!". People aren't always trying to hurt her feelings with their comments, some people are genuinely admiring, others just never learned not to make personal comments about other people's appearance.

Help her to see that her height is a fact about her, it cannot be changed she has to accept it. People are all different, some fat/thin/blonde/dark etc etc etc.

Above all, boost her confidence in other areas of her life. She WILL have comments made to her by her peers but if she can manage to take it at face value she will be fine!

When she gets older she will realise how wonderful it is to be tall. It's just really sucks when you are a child, that's all!

Of course my own daughter is tall. (my dh is over 6ft) She will be 3 in August and is 100cm tall.

I'm doing all I can to ensure it doesn't take her until she's 20 years old to see her height as the asset it is. That's about how long it took me.

ps) i would get very shirty with the nursery staff if i were you. how dare they suggest your dd should go to a doctor. i'm sure there are a few overweight children in her class, i'll bet they wouldn't dare suggest to the mothers of those children something might be irregular there.
help your dd work on her confidence, i feel sad that she's stooping already and is only in nursery.

Oh I forgot to add...remind her often that people are going to expect more from her in many ways because she looks older than she is.

Don't let her begin to think she's stupid because she doesn't match expectations that she doesn't understand are unreasonable.

can you tell this subject is dear to my heart!

So glad to see this post - my dd is also realy tall. and whay is it that people what to point it out to you all the time 'isnt she tall - etc'- as if you have not noticed it yourself! Drives me mad!!

I am 5ft 6 and husband is 6ft so we are not overly tall but she is just over the 100 percentile.

I do realy worry how it will affect her. We will of course do our best to raise a confident child that is happy as she is. But hormones can be given in puberty to limit height if she has an issue with it.