Whinging toddler and possible speech delay

[dizzee]

My DS has just turned 18 months and for the last couple of months or so has just done so much whinging and whining. He used to be such a happy baby, but now he seems to be permanently miserable. I think some of its due to teething (he's grown 4 teeth in the last 6 weeks), but I'm worried there's more to it than that.

A couple of months ago he was saying a few words (hiya, da (for there), dada etc), but since he's learned to walk (a bit late at 16 months), he's completely forgotten those words. He understands most things we say to him (follows instructions, points to things when asked) and he's actually very vocal, but just babbles away in his own language and we can't understand him.

I guess my questions are:

1. Is the whinging just due to frustration with communicating? Will it pass once he starts speaking?

1. Should I be worried about his lack of speech at 18 months?

1. Has anyone else experienced speech going backwards after learning to walk (or is this just a coincidence)?

1. Is all this just teething and I'm stressing over nothing?

It's just beginning to get me down. I feel like he must be so unhappy and I just can't make it any better.

Would be grateful for any thoughts and experiences.

Bumping because I'm interested in replies.

You really don't need to worry about lack of speech at 18 months.......all my DD1 could say at that age was mama and dada. She barely said anything until she was around 23 months, at which point the words all seemed to come at once and now we can't shut her up

I can't really comment on speech and walking as she walked at 11 months so had no speech at that point.

Hope someone else comes along with some answers for you X

18 months is too early to worry about speech, especially if he has managed so many words in the past. They do seem to learn forget and relearn, ime.

Can't comment on learning to walk impacts as mine all walked long before speech, too!

Might help support you if you could find some decent parent+toddler groups!? 18m. is about the age when I started to desperately need them .

will be watching this thread with great interest, my ds is 17months and i am having the same problem. The whining is really wearing me down!

dizzee, I'm no expert but IME words are definitely learnt and then forgotten at this age. He's definitely not remotely speech delayed at this time - DS1 is nearly 23mths and hardly says anything and I have been told not to worry until he's well past two (his speech is really starting to develop in the last couple of weeks so hoping it's going to all come out in one go!).

As for the whingeing, I think it's just something some toddlers do . Two of the whingeist toddlers I know are also v verbal so I'm not sure it's frustration! My son isn't a whinger at all and hardly talks!

I would second getting out and about - it will dilute the whingeing .

DS is neary 22 months and definitely went through a real whiny stage a few months back. On talking, he quite often randomly comes out with a word then we never hear it again Like Eddie's DS , mine isn't a massive talker yet but I don't think it's anything to worry about at all.

I definitely remember feeling that things were pretty hard work around the 18 month mark but it is much better now.

Thanks all. It's good to know he's not the only 18 month old not talking much. (I was a bit panicked because I saw a thread on here about how many words 18 months old should have and most of them seemed to have huge long lists).

I should confess I actually work full-time and ds goes to nursery, so I suppose I shouldn't really be complaining about the whinging . I've changed my hours slightly so I can pick him up at 4pm and we can spend a couple of hours together before he gets tired, but at the moment we just aren't enjoying each others company . I feel a bit guilty about how much time he spends at nursery, but then he seems happier there than he does with me . I just feel like such a crap mum at the moment.

dizzee, try not to read too much into posts about how much other people's LOs are doing - I'm guessing an awful lot of exaggerating showing off goes on in cyber space .

If you were a crap mum dizzee you wouldn't be worrying so much about his happiness.

For those hours you have after work with him I would probably just try and do things that you know he enjoys. Maybe ask nursery what his favourite things to do are if he doesn't seem to enjoy anything at all? Try not to worry about what he should or shouldn't be doing - they all develop in different ways. For every toddler that can say X words or sentences there'll be a toddler who hasn't really started chatting yet.

Hope things are a bit brighter for you soon.

Ime teething really can cause a lot of whiney and whinging behaviour in toddlers, so it could be very much related to that? especially with a lot of teeth coming out @ the same time...

i've just posted a new thread about the whinging!! ellie is only 15 months old but cries/whinges and wants to be picked up alll the time it's just me and her...never had this problem till a month ago...if other people are aroudn or if we are at playgroups she's fine...i think it could be boredome...my mum and hubby think it's she knows how to "play" me and i need to watch out im not spoiling her as i pander to her whinges (she was born 7 weeks prem and i was on bed rest with threatened miscarriage entire pregnancy, bleeding heavily so perhaps this is why i pander to her now)

ps when the whinge and you know they arent sick, should you ignore them or say "no"?

Thanks all for your kind comments. I think I was probably feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday. I feel better today. Poor DS seems to be so troubled by his teeth at the moment. He keeps opening his mouth and pointing to the ones which are breaking through, as if he's trying to tell me how sore they are . I'm hoping the whinging will improve once these teeth are through.

emmapi - DS also wants to be picked up all the time at the moment. He never used to be clingy and never had any separation anxiety. I thought this might be because he'd been at nursery from quite a young age or maybe just his personality. In fact I used to worry that he should be a bit more attached to his parents! Now he's really clingy. Cries if I leave him and wants to be picked up all the time. It was quite nice at first, but now it's getting a bit wearing (DH just says I'm never satisfied - worried if he's not clinging, worried if he's too clingy). I don't know what's changed. Nursery think he's just reached an age where he's more aware that he's being left .

Glad you're feeling a bit better today dizzee. Have you tried teething powders? They seemed to work on DS. They do go through phases of being a bit clingy, but it's perfectly normal.

Emmapi sounds like your DD is going through a pretty normal phase to me. IMO I wouldn't worry about 'pandering' to her - I don't think you can spoil a 15 month old with cuddles.