At 4yo, are nursery friendships important?

[MaMight]

It is dd's 4th birthday soon and she would like a party.

I would prefer to invite all of her 'home' friends and leave it at that. We have a busy social life and she knocks around with about 15 children around her age, plus about 8 younger siblings under the age of 2. I am friends with all of these children's parents. When dd talks about her 'best' friends, she usually lists 3 girls who are among her home friends.

She would also like to invite her friends from nursery. She attends 3 mornings a week and has done for about a year and a half now. There are about 15 children in her class and I think it would be too many to invite all of them.

Shall I invite the two girls who she talks about at nursery? I am not completely sure who her nursery friends are and dd is not the most reliable source!

Shall I ask her teacher who she plays with?

I don't want to leave anyone out.

Or shall I just invite the lot and see who comes?

What would you do?

Gosh - you're brave.
Nursery age is still very young for them to socially develop long term friends. At nursery age, they still are only just starting to play with other children, rather than alongside them, which is what they tend to do until reception age.

If it were me, I'd invite the home children - not too many or it'll be manic!

I'd invite the home children and say to your dd that you'll send a cake in to nursery (if poss) so she can have a party with them there.

Invite the home friends - it'll be much more of an issue at nursery if you invite some children and not others.

Ask her nursery teacher about sending a cake or treats in - they probably have a policy about bringing food in and might have children with allergies etc.

OTOH, my dd met her best friend when she was 4 and they are still BF (despite being half a continent apart). IIWM, I'd ask the teacher about it. One or two more aren't going to make a lot of differnce to the bedlam party.

A cake to nursery is a BRILLIANT idea! Yes, they have strict nut policies, but I can stick to them. She can take in some fairy cakes and have a 'party' at nursery, then come home, have a nap, and have a party with her other friends. Will speak to teech tomorrow.