DS..Circumcision or not?

[Mooncupflowethover]

Ok, so there is a thread in AIBU at the minute discussing circumcision. I've been reading the responses with growing horror!

So many people have written about how upsetting, painful, barbaric it was for their son's. Risks of surgery, risks of problems afterwards etc..here are a few quotes:

'there are cases where things go wrong and to be honest that's hell of a gamble'

'After seeing my son go through it - for medical reasons - I would say that as a a mother you are absolutely bloody insane to want to put your child through this horrid horrid procedure'

So back to my DS1. He's 3 and has an extremely tight foreskin, when he wee's it blows up like a balloon. The opening is so small it's like a pinhole almost. He's been taken to see a consultant who advised circumcision in a years time. My son will never be able to clean his penis properly if left intact.

I was reasonably happy about this until I read the other thread tonight!! Now I'm panicking big time..it's not an absolutely got to have it done situation, just advised. What if something goes wrong. Stressing about this big time now.

Has anyone's DS's had this done at a young age? were there any problems? and what would you do in my situation?

Mooncup - I deliberately stayed away from that thread because my DS2 had exactly the same condition as your DS. Ballanitis (penis blows uplike a baloon while urinating) is a terrble condition and has to be treated as it leads to infections and sexual problems later in life.

DS2 had severe urinary over several years infections and eventually his penis ruptured and puss dripped out.

You must have your son circumcised - there is no other solution. If it is not very severe you can go for a less extrme version of circumcison called [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preputioplasty preputioplasty]. However, if it is very tight then circumcison is the only way. He will be fully recovered in 2 weeks and much better to have it done before he goes to school. My DS2 was 7 when he had it done and he had the pain and embarrasment of going to school before and after the operation.

Another MNetter asked a few weeks ago about this for her husband who was in pain during sex because his foreskin was so tight. I have a friend who had a circumcision for a tight foreskin in his 30s and it was only after that he was able to form a proper relationship.

People are very extreme about circumcision on MN and I do not understand why. Do not panic your DS really needs this operation. Any operation has risk but there is no alternative.

THAT LINK AGAIN: preputioplasty.

One of your quotes was mine and DS had his done for the reason your son will have to - DH had had his done as an adult after his split during sex and he was adament that he did not want DS to suffer this psychological and physical trauma which it took DH years to recover from.

It was absolutley awful - they had to peel the foreskin from the head of DSs penis as it was stuck firmly and the consultant said this was why DS was in so much pain - literally he screamed for days, cried buckets and was unable to move much off of the bed , even a little tiny movement caused him to be sobbing in agony - but now he is fine - he was back to school in 2 weeks and although it looked horrific - which I think scared the hell out of him - he was only 5 - he got better quickly but you have to be prepared for seeing your little man in such pain - if it is in his best interest to get it done - and your surgeon has said it is then you need to go ahead with it - but he will be scared and frightened by what it looks like and it will hurt a hell of a lot .

ballooning doesnt have to be seen as a problem if you google - it is part of the separation of the foreskin from the glans.

alternative treatments

Sorry - I should probably come on and explain, because I was one of the anti-circumcision posters on the other thread.

I just wanted to clarify that I am anti unnecessary circumcision or routine infant circumcision. I am not against it for medical reasons. Of course there are still risks attached to the procedure, but the same is true for any medical treatment. I really don't think that a doctor would have advised something like this if they thought that the risks would outweigh the benefits.

Hope that clears it up a bit - sorry if I caused any upset.

ds had this op at 18 months and had his tested descended he was fine x

The medical profession in this country don't advise circumcision these days unless it really is medically a good idea. So I strongly think you should follow the consultant's advice. It is a very low risk operation. The disadvantages of having a circumcision, I think, are hugely overplayed by a vociferous minority of people and are not perceived at all by the majority of men who have been circumcised. I can see why men complain where the procedure was done to them in childhood/infancy without their consent and for no medical reason, but your ds will have nothing to chastise you for if you follow medical advice. And an extremely tight foreskin can cause problems with infections and sexual functioning, so it would be kinder to do something about it now than to leave as is.

Having said that, of course it is still horrible to have to contemplate, because it will cause severe swelling and considerable discomfort for some time afterwards, and any operation carries some risks, but the risks are hugely outweighed by the benefits in your ds's case.

My dh was circumcised at the age of 21, following years of trauma, inability to have sex due to an extremeley tight foreskin, etc.

he says it was the best thing he ever did, and bitterly regrets the waste of years spent trying to loosen the foreskin manually etc.

Ds1 was circumcised at age 7 for the same reason (ie extremely tight foreskin leading to infection etc). The recovery WAS a bit painful, but he was right as rain in 2 wks.

Ds2 has a "normal" foreskin, so I can clearly see that ds1 needed to be circumcised.

Please don't worry, I read a lot of dubious stuff on the other thread.

Fwiw, dh and I have a great sex-life! (sorry if tmi...)

Many thanks for the replies everyone , I'm grateful you took the time out to give me your views.

After reading your responses I think we will go ahead. I do feel the weight of responsibility over it. I hope he understands as he gets older.

Look, I'm as anti-circumcision for cosmetic/cultural reasons as one could possibly be.

But when it is medically necessary, then is a completely different kettle of fish. The other thread mostly anti because there was no good reason for the proposed circumcision. Just so the ds could look like his dad and brother.

Sometimes the problems of tight foreskins cannot be addressed by any other means that circumcision, and in those cases of course is absolutely the right thing to do.

FWIW, dh had issues with tight foreskin that were resolved with a combination of time and gradual stretching. My cousin on the other hand had circumcision because no end of stretching/manipulation/creams made a jot of difference and it was a question of either put up with frequent infection and potential impact on sexual relationships when older, or have the op. Of course he had the op!

My nephew had a circumcision (frequent infections, tight foreskin and hypospadias(SP)) a the age of 4. He was uncomfortable afterwards but was managed well with painkillers and a week of rest and recuperation and lots of cuddles. He's fine now.

Thanks pooka...The thing that freaked me out so much in the other thread was the discussion about how things could go wrong (always a big fear, not only with risks of surgery, but with the circumcision itself).

Words like barbaric etc...children being in excruciating pain, why would you do it to your child...that sort of thing. It just got to me I suppose, as I don't have to put DS1 through it, I could leave it and wait and see, it's not urgent.

We (DH and I) went to the Doc's with DS1 about it as his foreskin was ballooning when he wee'd. He went to see a consultant who said it wouldn't improve so he suggested circumcision.

Haven't mentioned this in my OP, but DH was circumcised at 40, not long after we met for exactly the same reason. His foreskin was ridiculously tight, it didn't look right to me at all...so I suggested he go to the Doc's and it all went from there. DS1 has obviously (or maybe randomly, who knows) inherited it. DS2 hasn't, thank God, or at least all looks fine so far, fingers crossed.

The other thread just panicked me when people discussed how it could go wrong etc..made me question whether it was a good idea.

I've been reassured by the replies on this thread, so thanks again to all.

xx

xx

Oh MFO, I do feel for you. Really I do. Is horrible feeling like you have to make such a difficult decision. FWIW, my nephew had his op scheduled for before he started school, so wouldn't interrupt either school or the fun of school hoildays.

Would it be worth seeing if you could get a second opinion? I've heard that steroid creams can help. Maybe a google search? I'm sure on a previous circ thread soeone recommended a website that had info on what you can try to avoid surgery - worth a shot?