Shocking seperation anxiety in 11 month old! Any advice please??

[CharlieBoo]

My dd is 11 months tomorrow. In the last week she has just started with seperation anxiety when she can't see me. It's not the usual whinge, it's proper, full on wailing, crying with makng no noise, bright red face, tears streaming. The minute I pick her up, big cuddle and a grin! Little monkey. It's normally not much of a prob in the day, it's the mornings when I have to get my ds to school. It's very manic, breakfast, lunches, teeth, wash etc, you guys know what mornings are like, and I just dint have the time to pick her up all the time. Also she is too heavy now!!! By the time my ds is at school I am exhausted!!!

We just hit back from holidays last wed Nd this has started since then. She used to not give two hoots if she could see me or not. Don't get me wrong, I love my cuddles and that she loves me sooo much but at times it is a little wareing and my poor son is so good just gets on with things, but he has no mummy time as she is taking it all (in the mornings that is). I make time for our time when I can after school!

Ds had it but not as bad as this, but he didn't have to share me and I had no school run then! Any advice much appreciated! X

Aw bless her! There's not much you can do really apart from keep her with you- have you tried putting her in one of those slings that she can go on on your back? I used one for my son and I still do at times, it is brill for going about your day and because they are on your back and the weight is put on your pelvis you really don't feel the weight at all. My sling is called an Ergo and it can be used from birth up until they are 3 or 4 years old. It's so easy to use, a godsend!

I had a very similar problem with my DD.

My advice is to keep giving the reassurance, even though its annoying/wearing for you. Initially I tried to be stern with my DD and teach her that she couldn't just take all the attention but this just made things worse. The more I tried to dismiss her anxiety the more she screamed. I gave up on being strict and started to be super cuddly and loving with her and after about 5 weeks the phase passed and she got over it. I also tried putting her back in a baby carrier and toting her around that way. It was helpful on the days when I had a lot to do. Very heavy though!

The important thing is to explain to your DS why you have to give DD extra attention in the mornings. Maybe give him an extra treat for being the big boy who can understand.

Good luck.

I could have written this myself at 11m my DS would have happily played on his own for an hour as long as i poked my head in every now and then, with DD I can forget it and she is even worse when DS is not around. It is exhausting. The Ergo sounds interesting, she loved the baby bjorn but is just to heavy for it now.

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