Why wean DD (2) from bottle/dummy?

[Wholelottalove]

Hello I was wondering if anyone can tell me why it is considered so bad (mainly by my MIL and some friends) that DD (2 last week) has a dummy at night/for naps and bottles of milk.

At nursery she drinks milk from cup, but at home refuses it in anything other than bottle so has small bottle in bed with us first thing, large-ish bottle before she goes to bed at night and sometimes a small bottle around mid-morning/mid-afternoon snack time, often drunk curled on mine or DH's lap having cuddle ('like a baby' according to MIL who was v shocked to see this the other day).

She drinks water from open cup with meals.

We brush teeth morning and evening (after bottle at night), she does have breakfast and eats very well generally, she just loves milk and her dummies. She was v 'sucky' as a baby and her dummies seem to be her comfort objects.

I can't see her giving up either dummy or bottle at the moment without a lot of distress for her.

So my question is, do we really need to wean her? If her teeth are ok, what are the other arguments against her having dummy/bottle? MIL thinks it's 'babyish' - but I genuinly don't get what's so awful about that, she's only 2.

The other reason I'm asking is we have another on the way (not until Dec) and if I'm weaning her I want to do it in good time before baby arrives.

I think the main reason is that they must come off them at some point and that it gets harder and harder to wean them off bottles and dummies the older they are - so sooner is better than later. Also my understanding is that 'baby bottle mouth' (ie their teeth rotting) is caused by bottles because they cause the milk to pool in the mouth in a way that a cup doesn't do. With dummies I think it's more about correct tooth development and speech. Toddlers left to themselves usually don't wean themselves off bottles and dummies voluntarily, so it has to be through parental enforcement at some point - and as I say, earlier is easier than later.

Thanks Octaviapink, I think I know she will be very distressed so therefore am avoiding it... but obviously I don't want her to suffer from any condition with her teeth. Not worried about speech as she talks lots (!) and doesn't have dummy in the day. I think I was wondering (hoping?) that she might be more persuadable when older to give them up voluntarily.

I did read someone saying to water the milk down gradually, but I do want her to still have the milk as it's good for her.

She has just moved rooms at nursery, so I think we need to give her a couple of weeks to settle, then maybe we should go for it. I also need to take her to get her teeth checked at dentist, although they look fine.

IMHO she is still a baby. So let her have her bottle and her dummy.

If you are concerned about her teeth, talk to her dentist. If she/he says there is a problem developing, then start to wean her.

Thanks Tee - the other thing I just thought of was that now we no longer let her have dummy in the car, she sucks her thumb instead...so I could take dummy away only for her to develop thumb sucking habit. (I sucked my thumb into me teens! and did need a brace, although for overcrowded mouth so not sure to do with thumb sucking or not)

I've always maintained Wholelottalove that I would rather my son have a dummy over suck his thumb. I can wean from a dummy eventually. What am I going to do? Cut off his thumbs?!?!

I honestly would just let her be and ignore your MIL!

My dd (2.7) still takes a bottle before bed and sometimes uses a dummy - just one of those things, my elder daughter had no bother stopping bottles at 2 and never took a dummy but sucks her fingers when she's tired/grumpy (4.5) On the subject of teeth - my dentist told me not to panic until the age of 3!!! He has childre n exactly the same age as mine