Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

At what point is puberty 'delayed'?

20 replies

EccentricaGallumbits · 20/04/2010 08:50

DD1 is 14 (tomorrow) and still has very few signs of puberty. She has no boob development, is just about 5 feet tall and quite skinny. she does shave her pits though.

All her friends are head and shoulders taller - she looks years younger than them.

DD2 is more developed and 2 years younger. DD1 is noticing this more and more and getting a bit stressy about it. Can I soothe her for a few more years yet?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Kathyjelly · 20/04/2010 08:53

Certainly not at 14. I was 16 and I wasn't the last in my class. I am taller than average so I don't think it's anything to do with size.

My niece is 15 and a half and hasn't started yet. It doesn't stop her looking about 21 when she wants to though.

Octaviapink · 20/04/2010 12:47

Does she wear makeup yet? Are there any privileges or things you've been waiting for 'until she's a bit older' that perhaps you could bring in now, especially if her younger sister can't have them! Might make her feel a bit more confident about things. Even if she's not developed, there are 'training' bras - especially as I'd presume by now a lot of her classmates are wearing bras.

14 certainly wouldn't count as 'delayed - it could be any day now!

Miggsie · 20/04/2010 12:49

My cousin was 18 before they took her to the docs as her periods had not started.
Turned out she was just so super active and skinny that she hadn't built up the necessary "stuff" in her womb.

She started naturally a few months later after upping her dairy and protein intakes.

rabbitstew · 20/04/2010 12:55

I don't think 14 would have been considered remotely delayed 50 years ago (probably more like average), it's just that children these days tend to go through puberty earlier (changes in diet and exercise and not necessarily a good thing), so it probably feels to your dd like it's delayed. It's highly unlikely you should be worried, but I can understand why it is upsetting her a bit.

I remember there was one girl in my class at primary school who started wearing a bra when she was 11 and everyone (jealously) thought how very odd that was. It really isn't at all uncommon these days for girls to be wearing bras (and genuinely needing them) whilst still at primary school.

RunLyraRun · 20/04/2010 13:01

There is a theory that there is a critical weight of around 47-48kg for the menarche to occur. It was certainly true for me, I didn't start my periods until I was 16 because I was small and slim. As she is 5ft and skinny I would have thought it likely that she hasn't hit that weight yet? Certainly no need to worry at 14.

RunLyraRun · 20/04/2010 13:03

Oh, and my sister is a full 4 years younger than me and was well developed during primary school, so I can relate to the "younger sibling hitting puberty earlier" issue.

bruffin · 20/04/2010 13:11

runlyrarun- I don't thinks its weight but percentage of body fat. My DD was only about 6stone when her's started.

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 20/04/2010 14:04

Thanks. I know really there's plenty of years before I/she should worry. Think it is just that so many younger girls seem so much more 'developed'. She does do the whole normal make up clothes stuff (with hideously padded bras). she's probably just at the normal-ish end of skinny.

OP posts:

mamasmissionimpossible · 20/04/2010 14:09

I was 15.5 before I ever had a period. I was quite a late developer in most things actually! All fine health wise and have had 2 dc's.

chipmonkey · 20/04/2010 14:12

I was 14 and my sister was 15. We were both very skinny at that age.
She still is. I am not!

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/04/2010 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

EccentricaGallumbits · 20/04/2010 14:15

no buds at all - although she wouldn't let me look! maybe just skinniness. I was fairly small chested until i had the DDs and got fat.

OP posts:

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/04/2010 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

babber · 20/04/2010 14:32

i was like this at age 14 too... i remember feeling like i must be he onlt girl left who hadn't got their period and was really self conscious about not having any boobs. I can't remember how old i was when it all happened but i'm sure by the time i was 16 i had almost caught up with the other girls (still i've only got boobs now cos i'm breastfeeding still... good enough reason to carry on )! It is really hard at that age when you are so self conscious about your self anyway but hopefully she'll have the confidence to deal with it - it won't be long thats for sure and by the time she's 20 she'll be sick of having periods...

RatherBeOnThePiste · 20/04/2010 14:33

I think the average in the uk is 12.5 years. So there will be lots younger than that and lots older. 14 doesn't seem time to worry.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 20/04/2010 14:46

Totally understand your and her anxiety. I was also a late starter (14) as (was ) EXTREMELY skinny and also shorter than average. She will grow a bit taller before puberty. I am now taller than average and norkwise normal. I think its harder for girls now 'cos there are so many fatties about with breast-like protuberances and bras that the skinnier ones feel a bit..flat.
My niece (13) is the same build as me, and I am sooo envious of her natural skinniness - buying her flattering skinny jeggings etc that her fatter friends will envy like mad!
Difficult with the younger sister issue, but like the previous poster i would (subtly) major on helping her make the most of her assets and privileges that youner children have to wait for...

Jopu · 28/12/2010 21:12

My nine year old daughter is complaining of uncomfortable boobs, she says it feels like they are bruised, is this the start of developing, it feels a little young to me?

FrustratedHippy · 28/12/2010 21:19

EG - my dd has a diagnosis of delayed puberty. We did not seek medical advice until she was late 14 and then left it again until she was late 15...

I think like your dd it was harder for dd as she has ds (14) further ahead than her.

My dd does not have boobs and we have become brill at finding padded bras for tiny girls IYKWIM

My dd is VERY chilled and so this has not been too bad for her - other children would i am sure find it more stressful. DD now has medication although she is poor at taking it and we feel if she s not fussed enough to take it - then we are not going to force her to!

FrustratedHippy · 28/12/2010 21:24

EG my dd is TALL and not over thin - she does not look much younger than her friends now although at 14 she did. The height helps disguise the lack of other 'growth'

IIWY i would seek advice. We did it really just to check nothing was wrong. When we told dd she was quite chilled and went along with it. Now that we actually HAVE the diagnosis - it means very little - apart from the fact we do not worry it is something sinister

DD bone age is 3 years behind

Lynli · 28/12/2010 21:42

If she has under arm hair then puberty is in progress, so no need to worry.

One of my DDs was 11 the other 15.

Flip