Advice pls - weaning 2yo old dummy and new bed

[MummyElk]

DD1's new toddler bed arrives this weekend. We are thinking she'll probably like the idea of the new bed and have plenty of time for her to make the transition into it before DD2 needs the cot.
However we are getting FED UP with the dummies... She currently only really has them at night, and she's got into the habit of wanting "two dummies". With the arrival of DD2 she's, perhaps as a bid for attention, taken to throwing/dropping (accidentally on purpose??) them out of the cot during the night...(I've got enough on my plate in the middle of the night with DD2 - let alone getting up for her too!!) Plus in the daytime if she has a tantrum/falls over they are the first thing she wants..

Anyway i never meant my 2yo to still have them, let alone so reliant on them, so I'm wondering - is the arrival of the new bed a good time to lose them? Can we make it a big girl bed with no dummies?
What if it backfires and she doesn't want the bed over the dummies?!!
I've tried to introduce the idea of a dummy fairy but not sure she'll take it..

Advice please....crikey, essay. Sorry.

Hi, I would say don't take the dummy away at the moment. The change of bed will be a big enough change for her with out taking away her comfort thing as well. Though I think you already knew that.
Stay firm with when she is and isn't allowed her dummy, she's testing the boundries. She'll have to be comforted by a cuddle in the day instead of dummy.
Also don't underestimate how unsettled she might be with having a new baby in the house. She's probably not ready to give up her baby status in the house.
I've recently been through what you are and I so know how tough it is. She'll settle down soon.
Oh and beware my DS fell out of his bed for at least two weeks and then had a little phase of running about the landing at bed time. All of this passed and we survived. Consistancy and patience are needed in bucket loads!
Try Supernanny technique if you have any bed time capers!
Back to the dummy issue. I'd wait till your baby is closer to one and sleeping reliably through the night before attempting getting rid of it. Avoid Christmas, holidays, birthdays etc.
Good luck.

Hi Bumbums (love the name btw ) thank you for quick response.
All makes complete sense - i think you are right, on all counts.
re supernanny technique, is that literally the walk in, put them back down/take no nonsense, walk back out sort of thing?

I could have written that about DD (2) and her dummies. She has just moved rooms at nursery so we're not planning to make any other changes for a few weeks until she is settled, but then we may look into moving her into big bed, then dummy.

Hi
We had the same problem with DS (2.3) and the dummies. He had to have one in his hand and one in his mouth and if he lost the one in his hand during the night he would wake up screaming. We got sick of it and ditched them a couple of weeks after his 2nd birthday, whilst still in a cot. Surprisingly, it went very well and we were very proud of him!!

He went into a toddler bed about a month ago and it hasn't been as successful. He loves his bed and duvet cover in the daytime but when it comes to bedtime he doesn't want to be left, wakes in the night etc. It has been a bit problematic and we're just working through a few solutions to help this problem.

So, in a nutshell I would do one at a time. Get her used to the bed and sleeping well in it and then ditch the dummies. I think it would be too much change to ditch both cot and dummies together as they get emotionally attached to both things!! Good luck!!

re. Supernanny technique. Its not so easy to do with a toddler but. First time out of bed, Say bed time darling, second time just say bed. third and subsiquent times no verbal contact at all. I used to end up standing with my back to him in his room untill he eventually calmed down and stayed in bed. but you'll figure this all out as you go along. You may not have a problem imediately at all.

right thank you for that. most interesting. (just shouted supernanny at DH as he headed upstairs )

How did you guys ditch the dummies? Any strategy or did you go cold turkey??

We are doing the Supernanny technique at the moment with 2.3 yr old DS. I hate doing it when he's screaming for a cuddle and to hold my hand but I know it's the right thing to do in the long run so that we all have a peaceful night and he gets the sleep he so needs.

Re: ditching the dummy. I have a baby nephew and I told DS that dummies were for babies, not big boys and that his baby cousin needed some dummies. I took him shopping and let him choose a comforter and told him that the dummies would be going to his cousin and he would have his monkey blanket comforter instead as that is what big boys have. Whilst not massively attached to his monkey blanket (didn't think he would be), he knew it was a present for him to replace the dummies.

If that hadn't worked I was going to try the dummy fairy but he seems to have accepted that his baby cousin gets all his baby things. I wish he felt the same way about nappies . Good luck!

Like Babyisaac I've just been through exactly the same two things with my DS 2.5. We did the toddler bed first, with mixed success. I tried a bit of Supernanny technique but I'm afraid I didn't have the patience and instead I've resorted to a stairgate at the door to his room as I wanted a way of keeping him in there but he could still come to the door if needs be. I leave the room after two stories, two songs and don't go back no matter what the protests (and there will be plenty!). with the dummy I did the dummy fairy, and she brought a peppa pig box set which was referred to every time the dummy was mentioned, which was hardly ever. We've had a few problems in the last week, I'm realising this is probably due to a persistent cough and difficulty settling, but gradually getting there. If you look in the Toddlers section on the main mumsnet homepage there is a section on sleep which is EXTREMELY useful, suggesting lots of different techniques in case you need to try a few, and gives you loads of ideas and impetus to stick to them, found it good on deciding on my strategy! Plus all the lovely supportive MNers!