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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help! Advice! Dummy Disaster

13 replies

missyfafa · 19/04/2010 20:24

I have just majorly caved in over dummies after a very stressful day and feel like a really rotten inconsistent Mother. I tried the whole dummy fairy thing to help get my DD over losing the dummies but she cried for almost 2 hours this evening, hysterical crying and I just couldn't take it any more so the Dummy fairy flew back in and gave the dummy back. Now she is fast asleep 3 mins later. I feel so bad about giving in but she was just so upset and I didn't want bed time to become a complete trauma for her. even though she is nearly three she just seems so little still and not ready for it. Not sure if I have done the right thing...

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thisisyesterday · 19/04/2010 20:26

awww bless her. I thin kyou have done the right thing yes. I think that at that age the whole "dummy fairy" thing is quite a hard concept to grasp. they agree to it because they will get a present or whatever, but i don't think they can fully understand that it won't ever come back

so, i would def have done the same thing. she won't have it forever, and you can try again in 6 months time or whatever and see if it works then

ConnorTraceptive · 19/04/2010 20:29

Can you take it out while she's sleeping? DS1 gave his up quite easily but ds2 has a look in his eye when it comes to dummies that tells me I'm in for a lot of trouble!

ConnorTraceptive · 19/04/2010 20:31

Also I think it's reasonable now to refuse to give her the dummy during the day no matter what and agree that she can have it at bedtime only

Original poster

missyfafa · 19/04/2010 20:33

She has had it exclusively at bedtime for the last 8 months or so and is fine sticking with that. We give it to her after her bath and take it away first thing in the morning. She said she would try again when she is older, bless her.

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verybusyspider · 19/04/2010 20:35

don't worry if you feel ok with her having dummy and its only at sleep times go with it, in a few months she'll be more ready to understand about giving it up. In the meantime you can just gradually cut down on use if its around a lot.
ds had to have milk in beaker for naps for ages, I didn't like it but now I can't really remember why! as it happened after several failed attempts to get beaker off him we just got to point he dropped day time nap, I guess what I'm trying to say is these things seem hard when in the thick of it but when you are in a position to look back you wonder what you worried about as stuff tends to right itself in the end

Original poster

missyfafa · 19/04/2010 20:35

I can take it out when she is sleeping, thank you for the advice. Thinking about it rationally I think she will get to the point where she will grow out of wanting it, hope that's before she is 16.

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verybusyspider · 19/04/2010 20:36

xposts sorry!

BertieBotts · 19/04/2010 20:36

I am sure she will - if not sooner, the first time she has a sleepover I am sure she will leave it at home without a second glance!

geraldinetheluckygoat · 19/04/2010 20:37

dont worry about it, try again in six months time. Have a glass of wine. Try a different tactic when shes a bit older, maybe let her choose a toy that she can have once shes given up dummies for a whole week or something. But please stop worrying, we all cave in sometimes

Original poster

missyfafa · 19/04/2010 20:38

Yes, looking back when I first tried to potty train her it was a nightmare but 6 months later we cracked it in less than a week. She gave up her bedtime milk herself very willingly and was fine about not having dummy in day so hope it will happen naturally. I can't stand to see her so upset, good job i never had to let her 'cry it out'!!!

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inycon · 19/04/2010 20:38

My dd loved her dummies at night and had them until the dentist advised that they needed to go - almost 4 yrs. He spoke to dd about it and I took them away that night with a hefty bribe as an added incentive. Tears for a few nights but then everything fine. Wish I'd tuffed it out sooner but no harm done in the end.

Original poster

missyfafa · 19/04/2010 20:41

Thank you all! Wine sounds nice but I am 33 weeks pregnant so maybe just a thimble full! Feel much better now.

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pigletmania · 19/04/2010 20:51

Dont worry it will get better, my dd now 3.1 years dropped the dummy at 2.9 years, she was a real dummy addict thought that it was going to be hard work and envisigned a week of screaming and crying but no she was very easy. However forward wind a few months to now, when she is in a tantrum she asks for the dummy or dum dums, been so tempted to give in but no, the dummy fairy never gives dummies back . Dont worry it will get better, how old is your dd.

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