3 year olds little foybles - normal?

[whoodoo]

DS1 who is 3.8 has always been quite particular about things especially what he wears. He's been getting a bit worse recently and I mentioned it in passing to the GP who was asking about him and she looked a bit concerned and said I should ask the health visitor. Can anyone advise if this sort of stuff is normal?

1. Clothes - has a certain set of clothes that he doesn't want to take off. Hates anything new - can cause major tantrums.
2. Dirt - doesn't like getting messy at all really - kind of freaks him out despite me constantly telling him it doesn't matter and things can be washed.
3. Water - hates getting wet (although fine with bath) even though I constantly reassure him water dries. When it's raining outside he has to walk holding his trousers round his knees
4. bedtimes- goes through phases of having to have certain toys, teddies or books in bed. Phases usually last a couple of weeks and then we move on. Currently we have to hang a hooded top on his chest of drawers .

He's also going through a particular whingey phase - huffing, crossing his arms and saying 'I'm not going to be your friend' and 'I'm telling on you'.

Is all of this normal or should I be worried?

It sounds quite normal to me both of mine have been like this to a point and ds worse than dd.

Both the dc's went through phases of wearing the same outfit all the time it was never out the wash at night at the moment ds is a Mickey Mouse T-shirt that he was sick on recently and was more upset about taking his t-shirt off than the fact he had a bug and was constantly sick for a whole night.

DS was always a clean reak (doesn't get it from me) would hate anything on his hands, spot of anything on his trousers/top whatever they had to be changed...he is 4 nest week and the fithiest child you have ever met you should see him when he comes in out the garden now.

Still hates water and this does extend to baths he is a total soap dodger although does now have a love of the rain and will tolerate a bath if you are quick.

DS is the same with bedtime toys and clothes not jammies but the clothes he takes to bed, he likes the silky labels and is ver selective about what things come to bed and each one is judged on the siliness of it's label....at the moment M&S seem to do the best labels

DD did her own little OCD type rituals as well and one of hers was that her pyjama trousers HAD to go on before her top and wouldn't get ready any other way. ALthough she is older I froget some of her others I do remember being incredibly worried for a time but they all disappeard with time and now at nearly 7 she couldn't care less about these things and ds is growing out of them too.

I just figured it was a bit of a control thing while they were growing up a bit and fully making sense of the world around them but they do forget about them soon enough.

I think all those things are normal to a point, as passing phases, and it would only be their continuity that would then raise concerns.

Talk to your health visitor though, if just to reassure you.

Sorry that was longer than I meant and I still never commented on the huffing.
Is he at nursery/pre-school by any chance because dd started doing this when she started pre-school and was getting the attitude from other dc's there it drove me mad.....and sorry she hasn't grown out of this one yet and i'm not optimistic anymore that she will anytime soon sorry.

Hi there, my DS has just turned 3 and also has a number of things that he likes 'just so'.

For example, he likes a particular towel, pillow case, toys in bed, if he feels that his duvet is wrinkled he will get really distressed and beg me to straighten it, he sometimes gets really upset if he drops food (at other tomes he doesn't seem to care!!

I don't know where he gets this from as I am not particular about anything like this. He also often does not get the towel / pillow case he craves as they need washing, this creates mayhem!!!

Funny thing is when he is with other people- DP, my Mum, MIL he does not insist on these things- but has a whole set of different requirements for each of us!!

I think of it as somehow related to the fact that a routine of some sort makes him feel comfortable. I think there may also be an element of testing the water to see which of his demands will be met though!!

My Ds is just 4 and has had a number of 'clothing issues'- just wanting to wear shorts, refusing certain items - and several of his friends have too.

The huffing and 'you are not my best friend' are very familiar - agree that it comes home from nursery - they were all saying it for a while!

Oh and he sobs if he spills water..

OK feeling less worried now - many thanks. The huffing. he is at nursery and is not quite in the pre-school group but mixes with them most of the time. he aspires to be a preschooler as he's always telling me and strangely he wants to be a submariner when he grows up.

wheresmypaddle - ditto the duvet thing. God forbid I don't have the dinosaur duvet dry before bedtime!

My ds2 will be 4 in July and has just started getting really particular about his clothes especially the way they feel.

He is driving me batty with his complaints "my toes are in my socks!" and he is finding cuffs annoying, labels, waistbands etc.

It takes us an age to get ready!