Help.. serious apparent seperation anxiety - long sorry

[Whiteybaby]

hoping there might be some mn wisdom out there.
DD turned 1 last month and suddenly has turned into clingy, weepy child. She has been amazingly placid up to now so major change from ususal and I am completely unsure as to what to do. She is at nursery 4 days a week and although used to be fine is now upset when dropped off and picked up. I think she has attached to her key worker too there so only really happy if with her and cries if she leaves her side. Not great news as she told me she is leaving in two weeks. We went on holiday a couple of weeks ago and seems much worse since then. Also i had been working 3 days and only increased to 4 since we came back.
We went to my parents house at the weekend and she screamed if they came near her or I even left her side for a second. I couldnt even go to the loo! My heart wants to stay at home and hold her till this passes but i have to work and dh thinks we should just carry on as usual. I am finding it so hard though to leave her and feeling horribly guilty that I am in the office and not with her. am working from home today so she can do short day at nursery.
also I think that she is teething hard, lots of dribble and she hasn't slept at all well for last 4 or so days crying on and off through the night. She has eight teeth already so guess these could be the bigger ones therefore more painful?
any advice? even hearing that others have been through this and survived would be a great help

This is a tough stage, probably teeth making separation anxiety worse. You could try some homeopathy - best to see a qualified homeopath but if it were my child, I'd give pulsatilla 30c three times a day for two days to see if it improved. (and for you too if you are feeling weepy!)

Thanks Deirdre i might just try it for me. Am feeling shockingly weepy about it esp as DH and nursery say she is pretty much fine when I am not around!

Hi. I went through exactly the same thing with my daughter. i didnt go back to work until she was 1. We started trials at the nursery when she was 10 months old and it was a nightmare- she just wouldnt settle. It got to the stage that I had to take an extra months leave from work and then the nursery said she could only have another week's trial. On the very last day she started to settle.
Following that whenever we went to any friends I couldnt go out of the room otherwise she would scream and get really distressed.
At nursery she would scream and scream when I left her. When I phoned the nursery in the mornings she said that she settled.
I can appreciate what a really horrible time it is for you.
All I can say is that based on my own experience they do get over it and it does seem to be one of those phases. It does nothing for your own mental state- i spent months in tears. I concoled myself that she wanted to be wit me and I wasnt the bad mum that I often thought i was (guilt guilt). hang on in there

My DD did exactly the same. A week after her 1st birthday she suddenly got really clingy and would scream if I tried to sit her on the floor. There were a few things going on which made me wonder if they triggered this phase: birthday party, family visits, 12-month booster, all in all we had a few really busy weeks.

However, she is now pretty much back to normal, so I have concluded that phases like this just happen occasionally. It's not nice and sometimes worrying, but I think the best thing to do is to show her you're there, and stick to her usual routines so she can be reassured by knowing what comes next.

Not unusual for you to feel bad about this and for DH to see it from a more practical point of view - ie that she is OK when you are not there - that's kind of how the Mum Dad relationships are supposed to be, Mum nurturing, Dad the practical one. (Obviously over simplifying things and it's not as simple as that!!)

A good friend who is a nanny said she had no idea how Mums felt about leaving their children until she had one of her own and had to leave her. Then she had a huge wave of emotion for the stress all her Mums had gone through!!

Have a big hug and put a brave face on!! Good Luck - you will both get through this.