how to get my baby to self settle

[BevCred]

My baby is coming up to 16 weeks - from birth my husband and I have always rocked her to sleep in our arms - even for nap times during the day - then put her down into her moses basket when she was fully asleep - i am worried that this is the only way i am going to be able to get her to go to sleep from now on as when i try anything else she just cries and gets angry - so we then have 30 mins to an hour of rocking her back to sleep in our arms... any advice on how we can try get her to 'self-settle' a bit more?

i did resort to sleep training as i was in the same boat.! And when i say what we did you are never going to believe i was in the same boat and she WOULDN'T be put down and loved being rocked.

i bought the alison scott wright book( saw it and never heard of it, but thought it may help me), as was really at my wits end with rocking or having to go out in car to get her to sleep. haven't really read any other bits of the book, just the sleep training bit and it certainly did the trick.dd was terrible at sleeping in the day and i was worn out with rocking and taking her out. you are knackered enough!!
basically coming up to 2 hours, i take my dd to her room, change her, half swaddle her so arms are out ( could do sleeping bag thing but i decided to make a difference between night and day sleeps to her), give her a cuddle, put her in the cot, stroke her head and pat her tummy. all the time 'shushing her' and saying' sleepy time'. she responded so quick couldn't believe it! obviously at the beginning of starting this, they don't settle straight away so after a few minutes i would go in and do some shush's and sleepy time, stroke her head and firmly but kindly say 'sleepy time' when she looked at me with bottom lip quivering! i kept repeating until she got the message. i think the key is to get them when they are not over tired, cause this would never work, as they are too' animated' and get too worked up. also to not linger when putting down and to assess with a bit of crying dying down, or building up, when to go in.

she had found her fingers at a similar time, so maybe i got lucky with self soothing. some days its better than others but she now knows the routine and craves it almost ( ok now she won't settle when we are out! - but its a better problem than before!!)

try the book. it really was a god send to me on the sleep bit

thanks for the info tinks27 - really helpful - i will have a look for that book and give it a try! Fingers crossed it works! before i had my baby i was full of ideas on what i wouldnt do as a parent - but in reality you do whatever is easiest (i.e rocking her to sleep) but it cant carry on forever!

We did lots of rocking then DD had terrible colic so would fall asleep due to being exhausted from screaming.
Was worried she'd never be able to settle herself as I heard other mums saying how well their bebies settled, they never rocked them etc but 8 months on it's not a problem.
Babies seem to go through lots of phases so try not to worry if things take a little time.
At 16 weeks DD was being put down asleep after a last feed but this does not seem to have impacted on her ability to settle now. Some babies seem to take longer to learn how to self settle than others but it will pass.
Hope all goes well

Bev, I hear ya. When I was pregnant I was all for cloth nappies, slings, exclusive breast feeding, and totally against dummies, plasticy toys and the like.

4 months of reality kicking in and it's disposables, a pram (he can't stand the sling - gutted), formula (doctor's orders unfortunately) and whatever else I can get my hands on to keep him happy ALL THE WAY...

Good luck with getting your little girl to settle. I'm in the same boat with my son - hopefully they'll crack it in the end!

it took only 2 days to get her to settle down for the sleeps.its a bit like bedtime if you think about it. they know the routine and so get used to 'this is the way it goes'. like you my LO has always been good at night. but was rocked to sleep just out of habit ( i blame my mum!) so hated to not have that in the day.
i really did go whole hog on a routine to try and get the sleeps sorted. am trying to chill with that now! but it did really help with day sleeps as she used to cat nap and still does a bit somedays, just encourage her to stay and sleep longer. its obvious they need it, otherwise we wouldn't bother!!

i too was going to be an 'earth' mother and sling/BF/go with the flow. she is 19 weeks now and figured out about 8 weeks, that, that didn't work for me!! the day sleep thing i did about 14 weeks, so she was a bit older and understood i wasn't abandoning her.

good luck.

After about 3 months we just decided it was time to try & organise a routine - after months of late night rocking. We started giving her a bath every day at around 6-6.30, then feed afterwards, and then she would be just go to sleep as soon as you put her down pretty much. First couple of times she would cry for a couple of minutes, but generally by the time i was halfway up the stairs to sort her out, she had stopped.

I then wake her up around 11 for final nappy change and feed before we go to bed. She's really sleepy during this and drops off immediately after.

During the day, it's a bit more down to chance. if i think she's getting tired i put her in her cot (with curtains closed) or take her for a walk so she can sleep in pram.

Best of luck - i think around 3-4 months is the time that they become able to settle themselves. My DD also loves her thumb so this is a definite aid to sleep!

general routine, darkness etc but we were also bought a Tomy star shaped light show thing which can play for 5 or 10 mins and that was good to help DS lay alone in his cot while he watched it and then he would drop off. Was also the only thing that stopped him screaming when his first teeth came. I think I saw in it ASDA for about £5

You might be surprised how easy it is. once you decide that 'that is it' , and you and your dh talk about it and decide to 'try this from now on', often alot of 'issues' especially when they are so young, can be sorted in a week. don't they say any problem under a year, in a week, any problem over a year, 2 weeks. Bet loads of Mn will tell me that doesn't work !!
tis quite a skill to learn though, self settling. but once they have it. you will wonder why you struggled before.
Just go for basics. watch for tiredness. think about the rest of the day. how many naps, when she last fed. you may need to make some other minor adjustments int he day, in order to get the night working.
ds1 only had a bath every few days, but then with ds2 i noticed that he was much easier to settle with a bath.
so i said to dh, rights thats it. bath every night.
bath. sleepsuit. at about 7pm, (what i was aiming for)into his room. dark. sat in rocking chair. breastfed. sleepy. laid him down. said goodnight and left the room. no rubbing or ssshhing at this stage.
he cried. left him for 1-2 minutes, painful, was practically counting the seconds, went back in. i think sometimes i had to pick him up. but mostly i tried to just give him a rub. and not stay too long. just settle a bit. and then leave. repeat repeat as necessary.
1st night may be bad and you will look and dh and quetion what you are doing to the poor little love.
but be strong.
and see how it goes.
and you hopefully, might be surprised how quickly it sorts itself / how quickly she learns to self settle.

well things seem to be going very well! I started just putting her down in her moses basket at nap times (or when i saw she was tired) and surprisingly after a few minutes of crying and moaning she went to sleep - and for 1 - 2 hours - she only ever napped for 20 - 40 mins before! Night-time was a bit trickier and we have crying for 10 - 15 mins or so which like you all say is painful and heart renching to listen to but in the end she settles and sleeps well! Sooo much easier than the constant walking round and rocking and shushing i did before - she actually cried longer and harder when i did that - maybe she was trying to say 'just put me down mummy!'. Thanks for all your advice - we have had 4 good nights/days so far so fingers crossed it continues...until the teething starts!!!

brill.glad to here it.
long may it continue
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