at what age do you expect your DC to wash/dress themselves

[ben10isgr8]

DS is 3yr 6mo and Dh and I are unsure how much to expect him to be participating / independent with washing and dressing.

DS can was himself...mostly but needs lots of prompting to wash his body and I wash his hair because he can't rinse properly.

He can put on his clothes and loose shoes, (with velcro) but cant manage socks.

I feel he is doing okay but DH thinks he should be independ by this age. Maybe there is no "normal age" for these things and it will just be practice and time.

Any information would be great

Your dh is a weirdy. Is he boarding school or ex army perchance?

TBH I think they do it when they can and are ready to, iykwim? There is no 'fixed' age, I dont think. Although they will need to probably change into plimsoles for inside wear at preschool and back into trainers for p.e.

I have a just turned 3yr old (on Monday) and a 4 year old.

They both choose and dress themselves - undies, tshirt from hanger in their little wardrobe, trousers, jumper (or similar) socks and shoes...but I do have to prompt the younger one and supervise. The 4yr old I can just send upstairs. Having said THAT however, the little one wears cloth nappies and knows in the mornings to wake up, take off the nappy (velcro covers with bamboo inserts) and jammie trousers and put them in the hamper before coming in to have a snuggle in our bed (he does stinky wees!! ) so there is a level of independence there, I suppose?

Both of them get given a cloth at bathtime and I do a version of 'head shoulders knees and toes' for them to wash themselves...again supervised. The 4yr old will wash his own hair. They both brush their teeth and I will give the teeth a quick going over.

So yeah, I guess my kids are the same as your DS, and I think they are doing ok? I wouldnt stress about it.

My dd is 6, and whilst she CAN wash herself (though I do her hair) and brush her teeth (Ihave a go too) and get dressed herself, it is rare that she will just get on with it without much nagging.

Sounds like he's doing fine to me.

Too young to be expected to wash his own hair at that age!

Socks and shoes are tricky.

If he can put on trousers and a tshirt he is doing well.

3 is still pretty young to be dressing themselves.

Why does your h want to make your son grow up so quick??

Dh has some issues from childhood, (care homes etc)and i'm not sure why exactly...proably too many reasosn to get into...but he pushes for independence with the kids (3 & 1)expecting/hoping???? they will be able to do things quicker than I think is realistic. As neither of us has child experience before our own we are plodding along as best we can (smile]

My DS is 3 and 4 months and is very lazy when it comes to dressing - but he CAN when encouraged, put on socks, pants and trousers, and he can take off tops, but can't put them on. He really struggles with his shoes, which drives me mad as he has little (girl) friends who have been doing it for a year! So I mainly dress him, which I know doesn't help, but am frequently encouraging him to do more of it himself (esp with No 2 on the way). I think because he has been an only child for a while it has been easier to run around after him a bit more. But then I have always been quite laidback about things and I let him get to things in his own time, like potty training and sleeping through the night properly. He's so well behaved that I don't want to force him to do stuff! I give him a flannel in the bath too and as long as he makes attempts in all the right places, that's fine! I certainly wouldn't expect him to be able to wash his own hair! He brushes his teeth and then I do them.

So yours sounds v normal to me, sounds like he is doing really well and I think boys are a bit slower with things like that (and maybe we run around after them more, don't know as I don't have a girl, but have had such discussions with other mums). Perhaps your DH needs to talk to some other dads about their kids- it's more difficult for dads because they don't see how advanced - or not - other kids are; I try and give my DH a few comparisons on different things.

dd is 5 and can dress herself, although fiddly school shirt buttons flummox her, she can wash herself but not her hair (very long) and can brush her teeth but often wants me to do it, she can do her shoes but often puts them on the wrong feet and has no laced runners, she usually can't zip up her coat although has managed it a couple of times.

ds1 is 3 (4 in july) and can dress himself and wash himself, brushes his own teeth and puts own his own shoes... he can't do zips or buttons though.

ime kids want to be independent and will do things by themselves as soon as they're able to but certain jobs are just too fiddly for tiny hands.

I do think a lot of this happens when they are ready and in my anecdotal experience boys take longer than girls. DS is now 3.10 and shortly after he turned 3 all he could do was pants, with a lot of prompting. I haven't pushed it but he now completely dresses and undresses himself including tops, trousers, socks and shoes. He brushes his teeth and I finish off. He's still getting there with coats - he can do one arm but not the other. I really think don't push him - encourage and praise but it's just not a battle worth having (unless you're my neighbour who has daughters who have been dressing themselves since 2 who thinks I am wrong... but I pick my battles )