my 3yr old DD and her AMAZING vomity tantrums

[OnlyWantsOne]

Im pretty lapse, and chilled etc... and my daughter is too, except recently she has become more controlling (last 4 months) and tries to manipulate the home situation by literally holding onto my legs or demanding everything right now...

I cant do it, I cant be her slave 24/7

So, nuaghty step... yep, takes 45 mins of my breathing deeply and her throwing up of her finally doing 3 minutes. She gets fair warnings, and she knows, if you ask - what will happen if she is naughty.

I just cant cope. My DP is a moron and stands and stares at her.... I cant do it, she is currently, laying in the "naughty corner" with sicky kithen roll saying I want a huggle, because she refused, after 23 minutes of screaming to say sorry for hitting me.

Naughty step doesn't work for all children. Some kids just have to be ignored. You tell her in a firm voice that 'we don't hit etc' then remove all eye contact, physical contact whatever for a few minutes. If you do continue with the naughty step, you need to make sure your dp is not around her giving her an audience, the more attention she gets for tantrumming, the more she will do it.

Have you tried threatening to remove toys instead of naughty step? It does sound like you are doing things right but some children are just relentless and can not calm down on their own when on the naughty step. You have to be so consistant with her which is hard when she's vomiting etc. Sorry I can't be of much help really!

You're expecting way too much of her. I would personally first of all check that your expectations aren't a little high eg that you're not fighting battles 'on principle' so that she won't get to expect this, or that....with kids this age imo the best policy is not to fight any battle unless you absolutely have to.

I personally would try to ignore; if you just can't, try giving a very few minutes time out in her room ( I think the received wisdom is the same as naughty step eg a minute per year of age but I don't believe in imposing this - go with what you like, one minute could be enough for her to experience the consequence)

All she needs imo is consistently to know that certain behaviour will get her nowhere other than a minute alone. And really, don't force an apology. She doesn't NEED to apologise, she just needs to experience the consequence imo.

Yes it's good if kids learn to say sorry but I honestly think it's just as good to role model it - apologise TO them at times, and they will pick it up...and a genuine apology when it comes is brilliant because you know they are genuinely thinking of other's feelings, not just performing a learned behaviour more to get THEM something, eg out of trouble!