7 week old cries all the time

[thesoo]

I have a 7 week old son (and a 2 year old toddler!). I am having trouble getting him to sleep for more that 1-2 hours at a time at night. He really doesn't like to sleep in his basket , preferring his daddy's shoulder! He is exclusively breastfed, and feeds roughly every 2 hours (sometimes more, sometimes less). He will then fall asleep but wakes screaming once he is in his basket. i have tried to put him down awake but sleepy too, but this doesn't make a difference.
His daytime sleep pattern varies wildly too, so it is not as if he sleeps all day. He often will only settle if I carry him around, and won't really tolerate a play mat or a bouncy chair. I am generally finding it difficult to get into any kind of a routine especially with a demanding toddler around.
I am tired! And every webiste I look to for help is full of mums saying that by this stage their babies are sleeping for a least 4 hours uninterrupted at nights. What am I doing wrong?

I hope someone with more insight will come along soon. I am in Oz so am not up to date with the no's you can call for advice. My instinct is to say roll with it. Every baby is different is all I have learnt from my 3. Have you tried a sling? 7 weeks old might be a bit young for enjoying being on the floor etc. DC3 was/is not a good sleeper and when she was small I walked around with her in a sling a lot of the time so that I could chase after her brothers and still get stuff done. Longer day time naps help with longer sleeps at night. Go for long walks with the pram and you can just park it when you get home and let him finish his nap there (break on and supervised of course). Call out for help with your 2yo till you sort out your newbie. Are you swaddling? In a basket if he startles then he would probably hit the sides if he wasn't swaddled. Is he getting both sides when he feeds at night or falling asleep after just the one? Burp him and get him awake after the first and put him on the second if not. Hope you get some ideas from all that. Good Luck, Sim

7 weeks was the absolute nadir for us. Just unbelievably bad. Took me 2 + hours to get her to sleep, walking/shushing/soothing talking while she screamed and screamed, she'd only sleep if we coslept, she wouldn't settle during the day etc.

You aren't doing anything wrong. 7 weeks is just incredibly hard. A sling is invaluable for daytime carrying, co-sleeping is a good option if you're a bit desperate for sleep, and it will get better.

And don't forget it's a typical time for your baby to be having a growth spurt.

But as everyone says, it will get better.

And get as much help as you can in the mean time - put him in a sling and look after your toddler and let everything else (housework!) go apart from making sure everyone in the house eats well.

"every webiste I look to for help is full of mums saying that by this stage their babies are sleeping for a least 4 hours uninterrupted at nights" And there'll be an equal number of mums who say that their baby sleeps for no more than 90 mins at a stretch!

All i can say is.......IGNORE was everyone else's baby is supposedly doing or you'll drive yourself loopy. They are all different and you are doing nothing wrong!

I have been there. My DS HATED the Moses basket so I gave up in the end. I took one side off his cot and pushed it up to my side of the bed so it was like an extension to our bed. That way, I could just shuffle him over once I'd fed him, keep my hand on him for a while and eventually he'd settle. It wasn't instant, but this did work after a while.

Like heth has said, ignore what everyone else's baby is doing at the same age. My DS is now 2.3 and a lovely little toddler. The same can't be said for his first year as a baby. However, some of the "dream babies" have now turned into nightmare toddlers so you just don't know how they're all going to turn out!

Go with the flow, work out what works best for you and co-sleep if you have to. You'll know from having a toddler that this doesn't last forever!!

A sling will at least allow you to play with your toddler and get some of your own stuff done while he sleeps on you.

Thank you so much people! I know I should ignore what everyone else says but am awful guilty of seeking answers to all of lifes questions on the internet, and being disappointed every time.

I do have a sling which I have only used for trips outside. Might be time to call it action

BooKangarooWonders - Think you may have a point about the growth spurt. He has had two spurts since birth (was 7lb 2 at birth and 10lb 6 after 4 weeks The HV thought her scales were broken), so this may just last for a few days and pass. I do get help, but like so many other mums, when I get a break I clean, rather than sleep - control freakery, I know, and I need to take a deep breath and step away from the dyson.

I have actually had some help from a relative today and have been able to really focus on ds as he has probably been picking up on the stress. As a consequence, he has been much more settled and actually fell asleep his basket earlier. A blip, possibly, but a very welcome one !!

sounds like a good step forward.

But I can only agree, it's so hard to just leave the housework when you end up sitting b/f for hours and looking at the dust building up Maybe you could snuggle up with your toddler when the baby is asleep. You might not be asleep yourself, but at least you'll be kind of resting (and the toddler will love the mummy-time too)

Was it a rough delivery? If so you could think of trying cranial osteopathy. If he's uncomfortable lying on his back that could explain his difficulty in settling.

Have a look at this.

I remember both DSs having rough weeks and better weeks. I did find sling invaluable for DS2 so I could still get on with things round the house and playing with DS1.

Also, I have to say both my sons slept much better on their sides/tummies. I put DS1 on tummy to sleep for daytime naps from about 7 weeks. For DS2 it was for both day and night sleep from 2 weeks. However, they both had excellent neck control and could lift their heads right up from birth. I know it's a bit controversial but I needed a break and DS1 would wake 5 mins after being put down on his back to sleep.

bumbums it was a very quick delivery, two pushes and there he was. Some people say that if the delivery is really quick, then the baby feels the separation from the mother more acutely and is more clingy, which may explain some things.

I found a mobile which belonged to my daughter and have suspended this above his basket. My daughter hated it so I had stuffed it under the bed, but ds seems to love it and this evening was to be found gazing at it in wonderment before drifting off to sleep.

thesoo you could be describing my situation! I have ds1 who is 2 and ds2 who is 7weeks.

I find that one the mornings when ds1 is at nursery (twice a week) ds2 is far more settled and will tend to sleep well in his chair. The rest of the time it is really hit and miss - but mostly miss!! I can only assume that as i can focus entirely on him i can judge his cues much better. I think he gets overtired quite quickly, so if i'm bisy with my toddler it's very hard to get the timing right to put him down to sleep, so he usually gets worked up and i end up just putting him in the sling.

So, no major advice really but you have al my sympathies!

my ds was like this - turns out he was dairy intolerant. i cut it out from my diet and it stopped him crying, - he hated lying on his back, as apparently when they have a sore tum, lying on back is painful. so its definately worth trying. i recommend oatly with added calcium as a replacement milk for you.

didn't help with sleep though - that is still rubbish two years on

chunkamatic Same here. dd goes to nursery two days and on those days we move towards the beginnings of a routine, which then goes to pot when dd is at home. Think i am going to have to rope in more relatives for support on those days, not so easy as they all live 90 mins away.

kalo12 you might have a point there. Last night he was sick a couple of times whilst lying on his back in his basket which was really scary. Will mention to the hv when i see her. I do eat a lot of dairy. Do they test for dairy intolerance, or is it a case of cut it out and wait and see?

hv will say its rubbish. HVs are usually completely stupid. I would try it for a couple of weeks. Its very common.

When I went to docs about it he just prescribed me some ADs for pnd. The hospital finally phoned with an appt for me, but its actually two years later, ds has grown out of it and I've moved away!!

I did alot of research myself and solved it, but i say just try it for a few weeks.