Separation Anxiety in 2 yr old after overseas move

[smcs]

my dd who is 2.3 yrs has always been a v good sleeper - never needed any help in getting to sleep and never woke during night. we've recently moved overseas to asia and having enrolled her in local nursery last week she has totally lost ability to sleep and is hysterical every night. have taken her out of nursery as felt prob too much too soon, but she screams whenever near bed / bedtimes / is waking several times a night and ending up in our bed as have tried (for 2 hours) to get her back to sleep in her bed in middle of the night. am at a total loss as so out of character and am returning to work soon so am desperate to get sorted. this is combined with pooing all over the place, hysteria when near any strangers (difficult when soon returning to work....) and hugely overtired and tantrum-y. any similar experiences or advice would be fantastic thanks smcs

It is an enormous change for them, especially as it's culturally very different. We moved between two countries with different languages and cultures two years ago; DD1 was 3, and two years on, she still pines "for the good old days" back where we used to live. Some kids are more adaptable than others but it is a major upheaval. DD1 had been dry at night for 6 months before we moved; she started wetting her bed again the day she started nursery, and it was about a year before she was dry again. She would get so tired at the end of the day she would just tantrum every evening for about 6 months. Took her a year to really be happy in her new setting, though as I say she still pines for the good old days.

Sorry, not very helpful, but just to say that sadly it's normal. I guess as much reassurance as possible, talking through with her how she's feeling; don't know if it's an option, but a nanny at home might be easier for her - although I know that's really difficult when you've just moved somewhere. DD1 used to LOVE talking about the friends she'd left behind; your daughter might be missing her routine back home. We used to, and still do, talk a lot about our life where we lived before, sing songs that we learned there, look at photos (though that still upsets her because she then wants to see her friends again). At the end of the day when I was putting her to bed, I'd remember some little detail about our old house or friends or life that would put a smile on her face, and tell her how much I missed it. I really sympathise - it's a really difficult time and you really worry about what it's doing to your kids psychologically. Sorry, I could go on forever - we have a move coming up in a year, and I can't face upheaving the kids again.

Hi there smcs, my bil and his family have just moved from London to here in Australia with a 2yr old in tow. Although the move has gone well overall my nephew has reverted to needing to be in nappies and sort of doing a high pitched scream a lot of the time (sort of screamy tantrum really). He is also VERY attached to his mum. So I guess it's all very normal.

How long is it since you moved? Is there any way you could delay starting work for a couple of months? I think you're probably right to take her out of nursery for now, she is very little and needs as much familiarity as possibole. I think 'There' has a good suggestion about getting a nanny if that's possible?

I would concentrate on doing nice things together, not too much in one day, keep everything pretty quiet and low key for a week or two if you can. Keep a really positive attitude for her . . "isn't this exciting etc etc", but nothing too stimulating. I would focus on a very quiet, gentle boring bed time routine, lots of cuddles and reassurance.

Poor you, it is very hard, you do have my sympathies.

Really grateful for all replies and advice. Makes me feel less like I'm in some isolated hell. You are so kind to reply and just need to dig deep and weather the storm. Also need to try and be less tired and angry as know it's not helping and making both kids even more miserable thank u!