4 year olds not sharing and trying to get each other into trouble

[Leish]

I'm tearing my hair out and am fast becoming a horrible, shouty Mum with my son (nearly 4) and sitter to his two 4 yr old best friends. I know that they are all going through the "ego-centric" stage but their constant fighting is driving me nuts. It doesn't take long for everyday play situations to descend into madness and tears all because one of them has grabbed or snatched, won't share, won't take turns etc. You don't need the details I'm sure. They are all well-aware of what they've done as they can all give me fantastic descriptions of what they've done/need to apologise for on returning from time out. I have tried 1,2,3 warnings, explained about fairness, making each other happy etc until I'm blue in the face, I've tried removing child, object and/or both from the situation, I've tried leaving them to it. I don't know what to do now. I want to be a good Mum and sitter for my friends kids but I can't tolerate it any more. Help!!

Not sure that this is going to be much help to your but I've been going through something similar with dd (also 4) and her friend who is the ds of one of my closest friends. Only way that we could describe it was sibling rivalry, they are at the same nursery school and spend a lot of time together while the mummies drink coffee, eat cake and bitch.

After being summoned by the nursery to discuss dd's behaviour towards the wee guy (and his to her I hasten to add) we had to agree to only drink coffee, eat cake and bitch while they were at nursery so they spent a little less time together. This has worked a treat and they can now be in the same room without bloodshed or tantrums.

I know that you are the sitter for the other 2 wee boys but is there anyway you could take a breather to give all of them a chance to decide they like each other again?