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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

cuddles or bed?

15 replies

jaynel · 13/04/2010 21:09

Hi, my dd is 5 weeks old, my dh thinks she should be in bed by 8pm ish so we have the evenings to ourselves but i feel she is too young and while she is young i want to hold her and have cuddles, should she be in bed in a routine, does anyone else do this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

emkana · 13/04/2010 21:11

hold her, cuddle her, enjoy her

plenty of time for a routine later

Shitemum · 13/04/2010 21:13

Keep her with you till you go to bed. Just make sure the living room isn't too noisy or brightly lit. She should be sleeping in the same room as you till she's 6 months old anyway whether you are awake or not...

Surely at 5 weks she's still feeding every couple of hours anyway?

Shitemum · 13/04/2010 21:14

by the way your DH doesn't seem to have realised yet that the party is over!

Woobie · 13/04/2010 21:15

Hi,
We started a routine with DS within a week of coming home, (just to give him time to recognise the rooms!! lol)
Put him down at 7pm & we even did a story as he lay in his moses basket. Lots of people said I was bonkers, but he goes to bed now at 7pm & goes down like a dream. (Still doesn't quite go through the night though as he feeds once still) - BUT he goes straight back to sleep once he's fed.
Not sure if it's the "norm" but I think it's like with everything in life, if you know no different you tend to accept things a little easier.?
X

specialmagiclady · 13/04/2010 21:18

Woobie is one of the lucky few!

If your little one is awake and alert in the evenings at 5 weeks you will do yourselves no favours at all by trying to get her to go to sleep in a bed on her own in the dark of an evening so you can "have time together".

If she's anything like mine, one of you will constantly be disappearing upstairs to settle her while the other continuously pauses a film, puts a plate over your dinner etc, and you just get into a state of stress over the baby not doing "what it's supposed to be doing"!

You are right, he is wrong. Sorry it is that simple !

TrinityIsAPenguin · 13/04/2010 21:18

no need for a routine yet at all

woobie, hmm I sort of understand what you mean but I dont agree

they should be sleeping in the same room as you for a long long time as your breathing regulates theirs

and also I coslept from birth, kept mine up with me till I went to bed and by 3 they all went to bed at 7 and went off like a dream
still do at 10, 5 and 3

specialmagiclady · 13/04/2010 21:19

Forgot to add - Above counts double if she's happily asleep on one of you.

Don't make her go to sleep on her own all the way up there!

mamaduckbone · 13/04/2010 21:26

With ds1 we were paranoid about 'bad habits', read far too many development books and got him into a routine very early. It worked well but we probably could have enjoyed the early days more if we'd been more relaxed.

With ds2 we kept him downstairs with us in the evenings for the first 3 months, until it was obvious that he wanted to go to bed and was overstimulated by being downstairs with us. It was lovely enjoying those evening cuddles after ds1 was in bed. At 9 months he now goes to bed at 7.30 and settles himself - no bad habits there.

Do what you want to do but don't think that you have to get her into a routine so soon. Persuading your dh that this is the case could be tricky if he wants 'you' time in the evenings.

Shaz10 · 13/04/2010 21:29

We only brought our son upstairs ahead of us when he began sleeping late into the morning. It made sense to let him go to sleep upstairs earlier. He was getting on for 6 months.

Woobie · 13/04/2010 21:40

Trinity,

You see what I forgot to mention is that we live in a flat, so he was / is litterally in the next room & he has been in our room all the time. We just put him down for the night & creep about when its our bedtime!!!!
I guess for us we really wanted to have some time to ourselves & we were lucky enough that he responded well, - which meant smiles all round.
I think with all things it depends on the individuals, but for us those individuals include mom & dad.
(I guess thats what comes of having children a little later in life when you've been spoilt with the "us" time.)
x

Original poster

jaynel · 13/04/2010 22:46

Thank u, i made dh read all your posts, hopefully it worked!

OP posts:

kalo12 · 13/04/2010 22:50

no way. she's a baby and babies need cuddling. my ds still sleeps in my bed at 2 years old.

i think your dh is being very unrealistic about parenting , you need to adapt to the needs of your child

Octaviapink · 14/04/2010 10:06

Plenty of time for routines later - cuddles in the evening for now, definitely! Our DD started going to bed at about 6.30 when she was about four months and it was obvious she wanted to go to bed. At five weeks she was still asleep on one of us during the evening - specialmagiclady is right - it'll probably just mean you spend the entire evening going up and down the stairs (as happened this past weekend with some friends who came to stay with their 6-week old).

MissWooWoo · 14/04/2010 10:10

cuddles! cuddles! cuddles!

PrettyCandles · 14/04/2010 10:15

I'm all for routine - but at the right time! She's far too young to be restricted to a routine right now.

At this age all of ours were with us until we went to bed. If they fell asleep they might be held, or put on the sofa or in the carrycot. But in a little while you may well find that she is feeding a lot between, say 6 and 10pm, stoking up for the night.

If you keep night-times boring and quiet, with minimal cuddles and interaction, you will help her learn to stay asleep, and you may find that she is ready to have a proper bedtime sooner.

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