My Duaghter hates me.

[McChat]

To anyone else my DD is an angel, she is so good at nursery and when she stays with anyone else, but at home on our own she turns into a devil child.
She has always be very sensitive and easily upset but she is getting worse as she gets older. She will be 3 in May. We have had a lot going on in our lives over the past 2 years and really since she was born but I am getting very tired of making excuses for her behaviour.
I know there is no set way to bring up a child but I have read books on how to deal with things, asked other parents and watched a bit of Super nanny!
She potty trained very well and goes to sleep in her own bed by herself after some stories. I do feel my Husband and I are good parents, (not perfect) but we do the very best we can for DD. We dont spoil her with toy and try to teach her things in a fun way and play with her as much as we can.
The main problem is when she has been playing and has made a mess, if she is asked to tidy up all hell breaks loose. I am tired, I cant do it or you help me is what we get from her. She cries all the time about the smallest thing. I'm a bit upset is another one she says A LOT.
My Husband works away so we only see him at weekends and she punishes him for that all the time.
Last night she told me she doesn't love me anymore and wants to live with Daddy.
She is breaking my heart that we can't just get on together and we fight all the time.
I know i shouldn't shout at her but she drives me so mad!
I dont think she is any different to other children but I am loosing the will to go on right now and dont have anyone to talk to about this.

She is still so young and needs help to tidy up. If she was a teenager I'd say you would have a problem but she is only two.

If this is the main crash point for you both why don't you turn it into a game ie - first person to put all the dolls away etc.

Don't stress about it - at the age of two she doesn't know what she is saying and isn't doing it to hurt you.

It is hard when your dh is away during the week and sometimes when it's just you and a child it can magnify problems which aren't that bad - especially when you are both tired.

Don't upset yourself about it.

Thank you, I know she is still only young but she can be so good at these things. We do play a game when there is a lot to do but I only ask her to put a few toy in her basket that she has scattered. I knew I can be a bit strict and expect a lot of her but only because I know she is capable. I suffer a lot with depression which is not helping!

She acts. Out for you because you are the person she loves and trusts most. She is testing boundaries, and trying to gain some control over her life as she has realised she is an independent being.
I know it's hard, but hang in there, it will pass.

Make the tidying up a game, but help her, 3 is still very young.

"I am tired, I cant do it or you help me is what we get from her. She cries all the time about the smallest thing. I'm a bit upset is another one she says A LOT."

Having suffered from depression myself I know that the above are things I have probably said/done in the past. Is there any chance she is picking up something from how you are feeling?

Otherwise it's probably just terrible twos. Most kids are worse for their parents than other people and they will tell you they don't like you sometimes. Don't worry about it. Just keep telling her you love her.

This sounds a lot like my daugher who is 3 and a quarter. I should think a lot of 3 year olds are like this judging from some of my friends! I also have depression and she does pick up on my mood, as does my 6 month old baby.
But I found that when I don't shout and lose my temper, the tantrums go away much more quickly. When I'm being a good parent(!!) I speak calmly even if I can feel my blood boiling.
Also, if we've had a bad day, sometimes I just stick on the TV and leave her in front of it in a Peppa Pig trance. It might not be so great for her development etc but it gives me a rest.
Don't be so hard on yourself and remember that it will get better.