How Can I Get DD to Play Without Me?

[GibranBow]

My DD is 2 and a bit, and whilst we've tried to avoid spoiling her in other ways, she has more or less had the undivided attention of one or other parent (except when being looked after by others, like her childminder) whenever she wants it. Probably a mistake, in hindsight, but that's where we are. Trouble is, we now have a week-old baby boy, and although, to our suprise, my DD has responded beautifully to him (so far!) she is starting to act up because we just can't give her the level of attention she is used to. Bottom line - she needs to get better at playing on her own (she'll do it for up to 15 minutes if the mood takes her, but otherwise, forget it), and we don't want to just stick her in front of CBeebies for hours on end.

Any advice on how to manage the transition in a way that won't upset her too much, and will get her happier playing on her own?

An added complication is that she is very much a Daddy's girl (which is probably part of why she's been so accepting of her new brother), and the end of paternity leave is likely to compound the problem ( she'll just be getting used to Daddy always being around when suddenly the reality of long working hours kicks back in), so, again, any tips on how to manage that gratefully received...

dd is an only child and has played by herself from the start but obviously the periods vary and grow over time, imo it would not be realistic to expect a 2yr old to play for half an hr alone without some sort of impute, even if just a couple of encouraging comments

am not sure what advice I can give regarding new baby as it never happened to us but some period of adjustment I think is to be expected

Thanks sfxmum - any particular activities you found your DD was happier with for longer periods?

Obviously when I say "on her own" I don't mean shutting her in a room and only letting her out for mealtimes...

I think the usual stuff, building blocks, stacking stuff, pens paper, pots and pans basically things she could handle and explore, soon after 2 she was given one of those laptops and that engaged her quite well, although occasionally drove mad

mostly I felt she wanted reassurance and feedback, but was quite happy to invent her own entertainment, and I don't mind mess

I felt it was easier when she did not feel like I needed her to play by herself iyswim, an often hard trick to pull

She is too young ATM. As she gets older she will play on her own for longer periods. I think you are expecting her to function at a level of development she hasn't yet reached TBH.

I know it is difficult, but the birth of a new sibling is a time when they tend to regress a bit and need more attention, so you might find you create problems such as jealousy and attention seeking if you try to push it at this stage.

The weather is improving - IME the more you can get outside, the better things will be. I had a 2 year old and a new baby, and I remember being in the park at 8 o'clock most mornings............

sfxmum - thanks - I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like it's being imposed on her (my DD has a contrary streak several miles wide).

3lf - wise words. Unfortunately our (sad excuse for) a garden is being done up, and a 3rd degree tear is making walks to the park unlikely for a short while at least...