Destructive two year old

[giddly]

DD2 is 2.6 and bright and affectionate, but she is incredibly destructive. She can't seem to walk past anything without throwing it, screwing it up, ripping it or scribbling on it. If you tell her off she just gets furious - hits and thows things even more. I've tried a version of time out (with 3 warnings) as she certainly understands consequences but she just gets really upset and angry. I'm sure a lot of people will suggest "ignore" "put things out of her way" or "distract" (which I'd normally agree with), but the problem is most of her destructive behaviour is aimed at DD1's things e.g. she rips up her pictures, books etc. and I don't think it's fair to DD1 to just ignore it or expect her to keep stuff out the way. She also won't be distracted - she's completely focused and incredibly stuborn. Her comprehension and speech are good for her age, so I don't think she's any more frustrated than the average 2 year old. Any suggestions? Or can anyone who had a child like this reassure me that it will pass?

Any thoughts?

I think they all do this to some extent. My ds is terrible for it at my dad's house butthen there is just so much stoff all over my dad's house that I find it hard not to walk in there and just grab at stuff! It's the most un baby friendly place with ornaments and Lord knows what everywhere so no wonder he is into everything.

I find sometimes he does it more when he's bored, ie not got my attention. Have you tried keeping things out of her ay that are important and just leaving other stuff around and get her used to being gentle with it (but then if it does break or get screwed up, it doesn't actually matter but you can get her to practice no destroying things!)

Can't think of anything that would help other than maybe giving her lots and lots of attention and praise when she's not doing it and ignoring her when she doesdo it. If she realises she gets attention (even negative attention) for destroying things, she will do everytime just to get a reaction from you.

It will pass though!

I think you're doing the right things already. Just because time out makes her incredibly angry doesn't mean it's the wrong thing to do imo.

I think so long as you are making sure all the time that your DD1 is putting precious things out of her reach as much as possible then you're right to give a consequence to DD2 when she does rip things up of her sister's.

Keep giving her the consequences to her actions and she will learn, eventually. As menadjoe says, don't make it all about attention - time out is LACK of attention so don't make a big thing of it and expect apologies etc just quietly give her the time out when she does stuff so that she experiences the consequence to her action.

Thanks all - we certainly do keep as much out the way as possible. Boredom donesn't seem to really be the thing - I can be sitting next to her doing something with her and she'll still suddenly reach accross the table and grab DD1's drawing out of her hand and start scrunching it. She does certainly do some of it for attention though. I'll just keep on with the time out and repeat "it's just a phase"...

god, that sounds really annoying! Reaching over and scrunching something up of her sisters....grr. I am sure you're doing the right thing. She's not too young to know this isn't acceptable and she will learn eventually. As you say, it's just a phase!!