Going cold turkey on thumb sucking - any advice / support please?

[sybilfaulty]

Hello

We have just started trying to wean our 3y old DD2 off her thumb. She sucks constantly at night and at other times during the day. She has already done some damage to her teeth and our dentist said that she has to stop now. It is possible that her teeth might move back as her face grows but at the moment she has a fairly bad overbite.

At a friend's suggestion, I have bought a thumb guard, which she managed to get out of last night (having screamed constantly for about 3 hours then fallen asleep). I have welded it on again, and she has been ok with it during the day, but is still awake and miserable as she can't fall asleep without sucking. I feel like the meanest mother as she is still such a wee thing, but her teeth are shocking already and will only get worse if we don't break the habit now.

Anyone got any tips or hints? Are we doing the right thing with the thumb guard? It's fairly extreme and means she can't create a vacuum so sucking is pointless. She has in the past sucked my finger and she does suck hard, hence the teeth problems.

I am trying to tell myself that if I can break the habit now, she has at least a chance of escaping huge dental probems later, or minimising the ones which have already been done. However, she is so unhappy that I feel wretched for her, esp as I am indirectly causing it.

Any help gratefully received. Many thanks.

When I was at school there used to be a nail polish you could paint on which tasted disgusting - did the trick with my sister and sounds a little more gentle (on you I guess) than the thumb guard approach. Good luck.

Dinky, I've tried the nail stuff and she can suck it off without it bothering her! She's hard core I am afraid. But thank you for the suggestion

poor you and poor dd. but it does sound like being cruel to be kind. like all such things like controlled crying, it's about breaking a habit - which can be awful to start, but in a few days should, hopefully, be much better.

a friend of mine has a v bad underbite (don't know if it is thumb-sucking related) and she is seriously considering major surgery where you have your jaw broken and wired to correct it. think about saving your dd from that / whatever your dentist has predicted and stick it out for a few more days.

if no improvement in a week you may need to think again - seek more specialist advice?

GoingPostal has your friend looked into getting an expansion brace, I think they can work on adults just take a long long time and may need the help of a cranial osteopath too - you facial bones aren't ever 100% fixed in place. Managed to save dd1 from the same op but she was only 13.

Orthodontist told me to tape a pair or socks around each hand, dd2 still managed to get the things off even though she wanted to give up IYSWIM. Need to try and crack it again as she's nearly 8, 6 year old sucks her thumb too

My three all had dummies forced on them from birth. I sucked my thumb until I was 14 and my fixed top and bottom brace was fitted. The orthodontist threatened me that he would take it off if I didn't stop. He was a teaching orthodontist and used to take my photos and moulds to conferences etc as a case study.

I had the worst overbite he had ever seen

Thanks for all the replies. My babysitter's brother is currently the star patient of local orthodontistry, having had 6 years of braces and still going. His overbite wasn't due to thumbsucking either, poor chap.

Suwoo, trust all ok now. Thanks for sharing your story. Have told DD several times that she would end up with operations on mouth, wires etc but all very abstract when you are only just 3.

Cargirl, poor you and poor DD. I think mine would manage to suck through anything. Good luck for your next attempt.

She fell asleep downstairs about 9.30 but is now awake and trying to pull off guard. Happily I've worked out how to get it on correctly without cutting off the circulation to her hand and so she can't, but she's very distressed. Now having a story to appease her a little.

I'll keep you posted as the week goes on. Thanks for replying.

Have you tried the positive approach? There is a product called "Thumbuddy To Love" and my kids loved it. Google it!

Make it her idea to stop. My DDs (6yo) first school dental visit went like this;
Dentist Lady: You suck your thumb? MY goodness! I tell you what, if you stop sucking that thumb then next time you come (Which was next week) you can have a piece of treasure out of my treasure chest! What do you think of that?

DD; nods.

She never sucked her thumb again.
She recieved a Happy Meal toy game from the Treasure Box on the next visit!

Me being completely dumbfounded after 1-2years of trying all other avenues is an understatement.

reading with interest - DS still sucks his thumb to go to sleep (although removes it as soon as he is asleep) at 2.4 and he has already caused a shift in one of his front incisors. Am trying to work round to stopping him but it's hard enough getting him to sleep with the thumb; it would be godawful without it.

Ah, have just looked at the thumbuddy site and discovered that they recommend stopping it at 3-4 so DS has a bit of respite (will still aim to stop him asap).

I sucked mine without any real jaw/teeth issue - and stopped when I was seven, as "big girls at junior school don't suck their thumbs". Before that I used to suck the (probably highly toxic) paint off my thumb as well - it only took one or 2 good sucks!

We're currently having this battle with our 5 year old. Her teeth don't meet in the middle at all.

I recon we'll end up with a thumb guard. Bribery isn't working.

It's very hard

Oh Syb I have no advice just support.

I sucked my own thumb until my teenage years and now have a bit of cement and metal behind my front teeth holding them together.

How did it go overnight?

The only thing I would say is we did the dummy thing with DS2 recently and it took 3/4 days of crying before he was ok without it. So give it a few more days.

Good luck.

I have 2 thumb suckers, I am now far more scared after reading this thread! I have always been fairly relaxed about it as both my sister and I had braces and although I was a thumb sucker she never was.

I'm off to look at the website now!

Good luck Syb, hope things go better tonight.

Oh Syb, thinking of both of you but actually it's probably harder on you! I know it's awful and seems draconian but you KNOW you are doing the right thing. Whatever she thinks now, she won't thank you later if you let her carry on.

I am sure you have tried it but what about one of these:

a. asking her what she wants to comfort herself at night now that she can't use her thumb. Let her have anything she wants (within reason) - make a big show of going to the shops and choosing the thing that will 'replace' her thumb (I don't mean to suck)
b. Start a 'treats and incentives' programme if she can get through so many days without doing it
c. Have a dialogue about how babies such their thumbs and she is a big girl now and big girls get to..(go swimming, do whatever 'big girl' treats you can think up)

I do think this week will be the worst and it's going to be a case of steeling yourself, expecting it to be ghastly and self-medicating with wine. Good luck darling.

Are things any better today? FWIW 3 seems to me a good age to try this - she's old enough to communicate with but has a blessedly short memory (if she's anything like ds1). I agree lots of treats and positive attention and I'm sure you'll crack it soon.

Aah, should have realised that you would already have tried the disgusting laquer stuff Sybil. Good luck - hopefully tonight will go much better for your DD and for you.

Mine are def too old for thumbuddy to love. I may buy a thumb guard as when they wear socks they can't stroke/scratch their comfort toys either so lose both sources of comfort in one swoop IYSWIM.

My youngest has a dummy, she used to be a finger sucker so had the dummy forced onto her around a year old but if we take the dummy away she just puts her thumb in instead.

We tried reward with our then 7 year old for a ds - we thought she'd given up but no she just had managed to get the sock off and put it back on in the mornings. She wants to give up but when she's tired she just wants to go to sleep IYSWIM.

Just keep at it, even if it takes ages -- she will stop. It is going to be horrid in the short term, but much easier overall than if you leave it until later.

I was a terrible thumb sucker until about 9 years old I think; I recall all the bitter-tasting thumb paints and whatnot, but they didn't stop me. I know it drove my dad and stepmum round the bend, for a long time, trying to work out how to make me stop! I'm sure everyone wished they had been more harsh when I was really little (but I think they had been letting me away with it because there was upsetting divorce & relocation stuff going on).

I didn't have too awful an overbite, but as I then lived in the US where everyone without perfect teeth has braces, I did end up with a top brace for a couple of years from the age of 12 or thereabouts. Was a right PITA.

I bought the thumb guard for DD when she was three. And within 4 days, after a few sleepless nights (us and her) she had stopped sucking her thumb and instead she SUCKS HER FOREFINGER.

And thumb guards don't do guards for forefingers (or they didn't at the time), but I suspect if they did she'd go back to her thumb. The thumbguard people rather unhelpfully told me to take her to psycologist!!!

She is now 6 years old, only sucks to get to sleep and would really like to stop. But she can't get to sleep without sucking. We have said she has to stop when her baby teeth fall out (soonish as the bottom ones are out and the top two a bit wobbly).

Goodluck.

Just wanted to add my support, we are currently (since wednesday) using the thumb guards with dd (4.5) she is also a chromic thumb sucker and about a week before we got the guards i started making an effort to get her to stop. I was reminding her about 100 times a day to 'take the thumb out' it was all i ever said to her. Since we got the guards it is so lovely to see her face without a thumb and to stop nagging her.

It takes her about an hour longer than usual to get to sleep at night but it is sooooo worth it.

Persevere with them, hopefully your dd will find another way to settle. dd sings songs to herself and that helps.

that should be chronic

Good luck. My ds sucked till 8 when the dentist absolutely bollocked him, and told him he'd have horrible sticky out teeth and be laughed at.
It worked immediately.
Obviously you can't do that to a 3 year old!
I like the idea of the Treasure box.

I used a very sticky fabric plaster, put it on one day, she screamed blue murder for an hour then promised that she wouldn't suck it during the day if I took it off. That was 2 months ago and she has never even attempted to put it in her mouth since.
She does still put it in when going to sleep but hopefully that will stop soon. She is 3.
My dentist said that the important age was to stop before their adult teeth come in and not to worry too much, as most kids need braces if they want straight teeth regardless of whether they sucked their thumb or not!

thumb sucking can deform the plate and jaw and cause teeth to not grow down far enough, it's not just a case of sticking out teeth it's stuff that can't be ever sorted or need surgery - not pleasant.

Cargirl, my dd's dentist has a fairly relaxed attitude to her thumb habit.
I really doubt that many children need surgery to correct deformities caused by thumb sucking, although after reading this rather scary thread I may do more research.

Dd is 9 and still sucks her thumb, mainly at night but also during the day if she is tired or upset.
She has an overbite, not too severe but will need correction with a brace.

Dd knows this and chooses to continue sucking

However the dentist says there is no way of knowing if this is caused by her habit. Plenty of children who don't suck have an overbite, whilst many that do suck have no dental issues. A lot of it depends on their sucking technique and how much pressure is on the teeth.

I never sucked, and still needed a brace.
I am not actively discouraging the sucking atm, I think she will stop when she is ready, and if she needs a brace, so be it.

My eldest has a brace but was a dummy sucker until 5 - but her underbite is nothing to do with that.

dd2 nearly 8 will def need a brace (has already had 2 orthodontist assessments) and the thumbsucking is making the problem worse and she has to stop or having the treatment will be a waste of time cosmetically.

Look at the orthotropics info, probably with thumb sucking is that it encourages and open bite and yes mine sit there with their mouths hanging open watching tv!