Difficult 4.5 year old DS

[mewmewpower]

Help! Please we are at our wits end Our 4.5 DS is an extremely strong willed child. We are implementing the 123 programme and a sticker chart, and so far no improvement has been made, I reminded him the other day about his sticker chart and his words were "don't want a sticker anyway"!! Having said that he achieved one sticker for eating nicely (our dinner time usually resembles a chimps tea party) and of course got lots of praise. Has anyone had any experience and can share some tips? Also going out is a nightmare, he runs off, doesn't listen, constantly does the opposite to what we have asked him to do . I am resorting to putting him in time out while we are out!! Please can someone help us? I have a 9 year old DD who is a delightful well behave child!! Help!!!

okay

how do youand DH respond when he is being a 'nightmare'?

some children do not respond to sticker charts

wrt the running off, he must have his hand held firmly until he has stopped - this means using the fist grip on occasion (his wrist in your fist) which looks horrid but is safe

I am wondering if he gets lots of attention when being a nightmare, thus perpetuating the stage

is he at school yet? lots of children are vile in the summer before they start reception

We are both resolute in our response. I don't think the sticker chart is working and thought of coming at it at a different angle, was thinking of a family plan (or something like that) which we all sit and listen to, including DS! I want to tell him what is unacceptable and therefore what the consequences will be and of course the positive things which happen when we are good. I think you could be right he does get negative attention when being a nightmare. Yes he is at school, which is another story, he can be vile at school . With regards to DH, I don't think he can carry a time out whilst out, he gets embarrassed, I on the other hand couldn't give a hoot what people thought of me! So maybe there is an inconsistency there

yy house rules is a good idea

here are mine:

HOUSE RULES

? We do not swear, call each other names, fight or deliberately hurt anyone else.

? We eat and drink at the table to help keep the house clean and to avoid accidents.

? We are kind and respectful to each other.

? We take care of the toys, furniture and other equipment.

? We take off our outside shoes when we go in the house to keep the house clean.

? We do not run indoors, or throw indoors, climb on furniture or play on the stairs or in the bathroom

That's really helpful thanks, do you give rewards when they adhere to the rules? Just been watching some Supernanny tips from her website!

mine are older now but yes, rewards in this house include PC/wii/Nintendo time, trips to the park, 50p to spend in the village shop

I try to have time with both children and individually too, as does DH

child rearing is not easy, at all

gawd one VITAL thing I've forgotten

does he get the opportunity to run and run and run every single day, unfettered and unconstrained

tai-kwondo/karate good for teaching self control

I have to confess not everyday, although we do have a 14ft trampoline at the end of the garden, which weather permitting does go out with his big sister...I sometimes join too!!! Funny you should mention Tai-kwondo, I have him starting a session after the easter holidays, is that something you strongly recommend? I thought it would do him good, if nothing wack him out for bed time! My boy has far too much testosterone inside him!!

Your right child rearing is not easy at all, if I knew then what I know now.........

tae kwondo is v good for an impulsive child with no SN

but being free to run is paramount

I know it's hard to arrange every single day but try it, and see what results you get

oh, and don't let the weather stop you

good luck

He certainly is impulsive! I will try it out. Come rain or shine, he WILL be in the garden or the park!!! Thanks for your help