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6 year old lying and stealing

12 replies

nomoreeastereggs · 06/04/2010 22:30

I am so sad. Took the DC out for a treats day today, a few shops, restaurant and cinema. In one of the shops, he asked questions about whether the pens were free as there was no price on them. I said no, nothing in shops was free and everything had to be paid for.

Just as we were getting back into the car, DS produces a pen I've never seen before.I asked him 5 times where he got it before he owned up to taking it from the shop. I marched him back to the shop, made him apologise to the manager and paid for the pen. DS didn't seem especially bothered, even smirked at one point. I lectured him most of the journey home, and when we got home he lied about something else.

I have ended up confiscating his entire stash of Easter eggs. I know he's young and lots of kids experiment with lying and stealing but I felt he wasn't taking it seriously. I am so sad he doesn't have his eggs as he was having such a lovely time this morning playing with them with his little sister.

But............I can't give them back now. I have made up a positive sticker chart that I've gone through with him, including telling the truth. But I still feel so, so sad about it.

Anyone had anything similar?

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fidelma · 06/04/2010 22:41

IT'S not great but it is normal.You have punnished him.You have given him the signal that what he did was not right.You have been a good parent and I am sure he is a good boy.

Re the easter eggs he could earn then back with good behaviour.

He is 6 after all.The punnishment does not need to go on for ever.

DD stole a good box of chocolates from me Aged 10.I made her pay for them and we had alot of discussion.She is a good girl and I think she has learned her lesson.

Good luck.

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 06/04/2010 22:44

Yes, but bit different because they truly didn't understand, so not very relevant or helpful to you.

I think you did the right thing. Punishment has to hurt. I'd be more worried about the fact that he didn't seem to care - although the smirking could have been embarrassment / upset.

It doesn't make him a bad lad, don't think that. They all do things like this. It's up to you to make him understand that it is not acceptable.

I am being called now! Sorry. But am sure MNers far more wise and helpful than me will come along and help you out. It will be ok. don't worry. xx

nomoreeastereggs · 06/04/2010 22:44

Thanks fidelma. I am in tears.

I am more upset than he is.

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JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 06/04/2010 22:45

sorry, x-posted with F.

Dominique07 · 06/04/2010 22:48

Let him start afresh in the morning. Poor thing, I'm sure he is not a bad boy.

nomoreeastereggs · 06/04/2010 22:52

I don't know if I've been too harsh. It was the only thing I could think of to make him take it seriously. I can't give them back though now as then he really won't take it seriously.

I just want to go and sleep next to him now and cuddle him.

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Dominique07 · 06/04/2010 23:35

No I'm sure you haven't been too harsh but just tell him its a fresh day tomorrow and if he is helpful and does a few chores with you then he can earn back his chocs for good behaviour!

fidelma · 07/04/2010 21:43

How is it going?

nomoreeastereggs · 07/04/2010 22:26

Thanks for asking. We had a good day today - had a day out with friends so it didn't rear its head until the car journey on the way home. DS said he was feeling really sad as he didn't have his eggs, please could he have them back.

I said no, you did something very wrong and the confiscation of the eggs was so he understood the serious nature of what he had done.

Last night he wrote me a note " To Mummy, I am sorry that I tak the pen. I love you so so much. Love DS xxxx"

I have said to him I will speak to DH and we will decide if he can earn some of the eggs back. DH thinks it is harsh that he doesn't get any back, but firmly thinks he should not get them all back.

I am still in two minds about it.

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Ellokitty · 07/04/2010 23:09

My DD (6) has just gone through a real stage of lying. It was a nightmare, but was a stage. We took the response that every time someone (usually her younger sister) disagreed with her, we believed them, because Dd1 lied, so we couldn't trust her. Just recently, she was in a dispute with her sister, and when we said we couldn't trust her, she replied "but I've stopped lying" and in fairness to her, she has.

I think it is a stage they have all got to go through at some point, but I'm very glad I'm now on the other side

nomoreeastereggs · 08/04/2010 09:03

Just told DS that he has to earn 20 stickers and he will get all his eggs back, bar the one we gave him. It doesn't feel right to take away gifts from other people.

The sticker chart is for whole days' achievements and includes telling the truth.

We are all feeling happier now. Thanks to all for your advice.

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fidelma · 08/04/2010 22:56

Bless him. well done

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