Dear all
I've just joined as am looking for some advice. I have a five year old who behaves like a teenager. She is basically very bratty! I was a single parent living in England, and moved to Spain because I couldn't afford to live in London. This is where i think the problem has come from, because the culture is different. She doesn?t have to say please and thank you as much in Spanish and Catalan as she does in English? And when I "tell her off" for misbehaviour in public, people around me say things like, "ahhh, leave her alone, she's only a baby" and my daughter hears this.
She tells me things like "I?ll do it when I want to" when I've asked her to do something. And she cries a lot when she doesn?t get her own way. And her step-dad gives in. He'll watch her behave bratty and tell her off, and when she strops to her room, will call her back and ask her what she wants. (and he complained to me the other day that she's spoilt)
Now not wanting to contradict myself, i know it's because she's bored, no amount of swimming (we live in a community area that has two pools), playing games, reading, TV, cbeebies online, ice poles and days out with her friends, will keep her occupied. The more activities I come up for her, the more she wants.
But, today she broke my camera. She did this by having a "huff" which meant she knocked it out of my hands. I was extremely annoyed (and that's putting it mildly) my camera is more important to us since we moved here as it's the only way for my family to "see" us and it's expensive.
I locked myself in my room because I was so angry I didn?t want to smack her or say hurtful things to her. When I'd calmed down, I sent her to her room and told her no ice poles, no swimming and no TV.
So she now thinks I should be "over" my anger...and I am, but I really want her to learn the value of respect. Understanding that she has got to do as she's told, that I love her, but I am the mummy and what I says goes.
I find her attitude unacceptable for a five year old and if i met a child like her, I wouldn't be interested in spending lots of time with her. I know this may sound harsh, but I want to have a child that I like, whose company I enjoy.
My daughter is generally a sweet girl, and I have fun with her when she is well behaved, she is very funny and quite bright. The one thing I have in my favour is that I can reason with her. She will compute what you say and try to make sense of it. And I think a lot of her behaviour is learnt (from kids at school, from me, from her step-dad, watching other people) so she sometimes gets confused when she gets told off certain behavioural characteristics.
Well, we are now going to cook together as I've calmed down sufficiently. Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
Regards
Mistee