Bedtime Chatter

[cedricdoris1]

Can anyone please help.........DD1 was and is an angel, age 6. DD2 on the other hand will not do as she is asked/told/requested/ordered etc. My biggest frustration is bedtime. She goes to bed fine no problem there bath, bed, stories etc., just when she is in bed she chats, sings, plays for anything up to 2 hours and drives me to distraction. She's 2.5 and still has a daytime sleep which again is no problem, she's asleep within a minute or two. No matter how many times I ask/tell/order/shout at her to go to sleep she just carries on chatting and will not in anyway shape or form go to sleep. Tonight I completely lost the plot hence my posting, like another on this forum, I totally lost my temper was not an adult at all and have probably terrified the life out of her. After 2.5 hours she finally went to sleep. I've tried not letting her have a sleep in the day but that has no effect she still chats/sings etc, in bed for at least an hour. I'm on my own and full time mum and need some advice. DD1 dropped her daytime sleep at 3y9m when DD2 was born so can't remember how it happened. Totally and embarrassed by my behaviour tonight.

Sounds normal to me, why does it bother you? Do any of you share a room?

To be honest, you can't make her go to sleep- nor, to be fair, can she. (I often take a few hours to settle, but thankfully noone is checking up on me).

I would settle for making her stay in bed, and then keeping as far away from her as possible so you don't know if she's asleep or not. As long as she is not getting out of bed, or making a loud noise, just leave her, she is still getting some rest.

butadream: no none of us share a room, i think it bothers me because after 13 hours of noise come bedtime i need some peace

cory: thank you, you're completely right of course i can't MAKE her go to sleep, perhaps i should throw my baby monitor away instead!

i think the stress of my own personal situation being officially on my own even though i've been on my own for the last 6 years is what the real problem is

agree, just ignore it. you don't need a baby monitor, you'll hear her if she is crying i am sure.
or just turn it on now and then to see if she has gone to sleep

i don't care what my lot do once they're upstairs as long as they stay in their rooms

Yes, just ignore it - it doesn't sound like it's affecting her, so I'd turn the baby monitor off and just check on her before you go to bed. As long as she's staying in bed and is quite happy, let her get on with it. Fight the fights that need fighting - it doesn't sound like this one does!

Hello, I don't know whether I have any answers but just wanted to let you know you are not alone! My DS 2.5 is EXACTLY the same, though slightly better if he hasn't had a daytime nap. Goes out like a light for the daytime nap but stresses me out with 'playtime' at bedtime for anything up to 2 hours +. Last night he was even saying to me 'I'm tired' from about 6pm, which is really unusual for him, so I put him to bed soon after 7 thinking he would be out like a light. He was still up playing at nearly 9pm before dropping off. Fine for holidays and weekends but I have to leave the house with him by 7.30 most days to get him to nursery. Like you it really gets to me, and like you I also have a baby monitor so I hear all the goings-on and just get more and more stressed by it! Maybe we should just relax a bit and let them work it out for themselves. I've put a gate on my DS's door so at least it confines him to his room, and leave the door open. Good luck!

bond and cedric, what time do they get up? maybe they need a later bed time. apparently (dr ferber) for sleep patterns to shift it can take up to a month... have you tried dropping the nap for that long?

120, that's interesting! For my DS he wakes up at the similar time no matter what time he goes to bed - either I wake him at 7 or he wakes naturally some time before that, between 6 and 7 seems 'normal' for him as far as I can tell. I've never dropped the nap for more than the occasional day. Yesterday, for example he didn't have a nap, and zonked by 7.15 and was awake at 6.15 this morning. He yawned several times before we left the house though and seemed cranky/tired in himself. Hmm. It's difficult for me to be consistent, because he attends nursery 3 days p/w, at my parents' for 1 day and with me for 3 days. Though nursery quite receptive and I could tell them to keep him up I suppose. But on the days he needs an afternoon nap it would take incredible energy from me to keep him up as he would be unbearable from about 4 onwards! Guess they just each have their own personal pattern and might take a bit of going with the flow before he totally drops the nap altogether.

thisisyesterday & octaviapink: well I turned off the baby monitor last night and tonight and she's gone off to sleep fine. Last night she was asleep really quickly and tonight she's just gone to sleep now. I am nowhere near as stressed as before so a huge thank you.

bondgirl: thanks for the empathy it's good to know there are others stressed by the same situation.

120: as bondgirl says that's interesting. I can't face dropping the daytime sleep yet, what with one thing or another, potentially moving house soon, coping with that, 2 children who have never lived anywhere else, having to sell furniture, dealing with 2 cats who'll be stressed too, I'm going to keep the daytime sleep up for a bit longer! Will maybe give it a go in the summer holidays, it will certainly mean that we can go out for daytrips rather than popping out in the mornings and afternoons.

thank you one and all, i knew i'd get help and support