Please just let me rant a bit

[OrmRenewed]

DS~2 is going through a really bad phase atm. I know he's overtired but he won't got to sleep till really late. He argues over everything, he is rough with his siblings, won't let me go more than a few feet away from him. His older siblings have had ENOUGH! And I don't blame them. I read 'How to parent to explosive child' last year thanks to a MN recommendation and it's great but there are times when it's almost impossible to put into practice. And Dh refuses to read the book at all - thinking that DS is just being stubborn and needs to learn to do what he's told Well that hasn't really worked so far has it?

We've spent most of the weekend with various family members and DS#2 has been a bloody nightmare. DB and his wife were fine and quite patient. But today SIL said 'I think you are so patient with him I'd have lost it by now' - ie he's a little brat and you're too easy on him.

I wish people who judge us would spend 24 hours with him and just see how hard it is

DS1 was like that when he was 2.

It's due to high inteligence y'know. (or that 's what I told my self, anyway )

When you're really desperate, and are prepared to pay hard cash for a happier child, go to the Carnial Osteopth. Worked for us

if you come down hard on my ds it just makes things so so so much worse.

I know how you feel.

And why won't dads read the books?

a carnial osteopath lynette? {grin] Sounds intriguing!

Thanks for the suggestion. I will give it some serious thought - I have heard good things about it from others too.

That IS interesting about the CO. I think I will take my ds. It can't hurt.

I thought Explosive Child was very good btw. But sometimes it is just too hard to keep it up. Same with HTT. It all works, but takes SO MUCH mental effort, I haven't always got the energy.

You know maybe when SIL said 'I think you are so patient with him I'd have lost it by now' - she meant you're doing amazingly and not he's a little brat and you're too easy on him.

Don't see judgement where you can see support

save the opprobrium for people who say what he needs is a good slap

I don 't know humphrey - he seems to want to crank up the tension until he has his face a few inches from DS and they are both shouting and DS is scared. Twat! And everyone else in the house is in bits. I know DS is frustrating and normally DH is a good dad - but FGS that doesn't help!

that is really annoying

you should be able to count on your DH to help not make things worse

I know activate, I know. Bit sensitive atm. Having had to damp him down, apologise, distract and generally act like some kind of multi-skilled family jester. And then confine him in a small flat with nothing to do all afternoon.

yy to 'generally act like some kind of multi-skilled family jester'.

I recognise that feeling. That's what I mean by taking so much effort. Sometimes I just don't have the energy.

Neither do I. But I felt obliged spending that long with others.

My other 2 just seemed to know when they have to behave well. THis one doesn't care.

I hope you have a relaxing evening once the dc are in bed.

Thanks humphrey but no . Got DS2 settled nicely (I thought). An hour later he appeared downstairs demanding food . Managed to get him back upstairs but he was wide awake when I got up there. Has a bad dream at about 3am and got in with us - so no-one much got any sleep.

I think I ma have to drug him with calpol tonight, and a warm bath...or some gin.

Orm - how old is DS2?. Has he always been like this? It may be a phase, growth spurt, it may be the way he is. My DS (6) has been challenging from birth. He has phases where he is like other kids but he's never been placid.

He's full on, boisterous, attention seeking, sometimes aggressive and full of testosterone, needy, arrogant, bright, in yer face. He's never going to be a wallflower, some kids aren't.

I often get comments like your SIL made. I have found the comments a lot easier since I had DD (3 and easy peasy in comparison. atm... ), but can understand how you can take it personally. She may well be genuinely in awe of your coping strategies. IME, often people that don't have DC that are challenging aren't necessarily judging you. They are more likely thanking their lucky stars.

My mother told me a long time ago that challenging children make interesting adults. I cling onto this when I am having difficulty keeping it all together.

"challenging children make interesting adults"

Oh I hope so! There has to be some payback Thanks taffeta.

He's 7 and yes, he's been like this on and off (mostly on) since he was about 3. Lovely easy-going baby, reasonable toddler.